Beginnings
by Rayneken
Summary: Naruto was six years old when he met the man who changed his life. ...Now he's kind of just hoping he survives it.
1. Of Meetings and Mayhem

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine... Sob.

AN: So I had this idea, and it was going to be about one or two pages of pointless fluffiness. ...Then it turned into 32 pages of pointless fluffiness. HOW? I dunno know! Anyway, please enjoy it!

Naruto was six years old when he met him.

He was the quiet man on the outskirts of the village who didn't smile often and didn't smile well. His house was big, bigger than Naruto's tiny apartment, and filled with the coolest stuff Naruto had ever seen. He had magic scrolls and crystal balls and weapons and a big black box that made noise when he let Naruto's fingers clunk on it.

The first time Naruto met the man was at his swing, his third day of Academy. It was just starting to rain, and Naruto was just about to head home, when a shadow went over his head and the cold little drops stopped hitting his arms.

He had to look _way_ up to see the unsmiling face and raised eyebrow.

Naruto waved, slightly in awe, almost falling off the swing he leaned so far back.

The man waved back.

"It's raining," he said. "Are you going home soon?"

Naruto nodded.

"You don't have an umbrella. You want me to walk you?"

Nod.

Naruto got to hold the man's hand the whole way back to his apartment and he got to _talk_ the _whole way _too_._

The man frowned when he saw his house, and Naruto guiltily kicked a pair of underwear beneath the couch. He should have cleaned, like Hokage-sama always told him to.

"This is where you live?" Hokage Rattus the Fourth skittered over one of the man's sparkling clean socks and a lip curled.

Naruto nodded. "That was Hokage Rattus the Fourth. He don't mean no harm."

"Indeed?"

Fervent nods.

"I see," Man said, and walked into his kitchen. Naruto trailed after him in wonder, imagining what it would take to keep your clothes so white—a washing machine that worked, good soap, that bleach stuff _that absolutely should not ever be drunk. _Man opened several cabinets, frowning in distaste at each before closing them. Dust stuck to his fingers when he ran a hand over a shelf. "Where is your food?"

"I spent food money yesterday," Naruto admitted. He hadn't been able to help himself. The little cakes wrapped up in their bright, shiny plastic had just looked _so good._ How was he to know they wouldn't last long? He stretched up on tippy-toes, grabbed his cup, filled it with water, and handed it to Man. "Here. It's yummy."

"It's unsanitary," Man replied.

'Unsanitary'. Naruto didn't know what that word meant.

"I have an idea," Man said suddenly, pouring the water out and setting the cup down on the chipped, multi-colored counter. "Why don't you come eat dinner with me?"

Naruto's stomach growled. "'Kay!"

He got to talk the whole way to Man's house too.

"…So I like Iruka-sensei best because he keeps suckers on his desk and he gave me one once and it was cherry flavored and really good. He sez he gives it to me 'cause I'm so cute and I sez to him that I wasn't cute 'cause I'm so big now and big boys ain't cute, is they?"

"No."

"No. So _he_ sezs to _me_ I was wrong and big boys can be real cute, but _I_ sez to _him_ that only gay boys thinks boys is cute when they is big and so he must be gay! But he sez to me he ain't so I still like him even though he won't tell me where the funny thing on his nose comes from. Do you know?"

"No."

"Well he once sez to me: I got it from a bear, and another time he sez to me: I got it from a lion, and I told hims he is a liar and he sez he don't tell no lies just have-troofs and I sez he lies all the time, like a rug, and then he sez I had to go sit down or I wouldn't get snack that day and snack is the _best part_ of the day so I sez okay and went and sat down. Acourse I left a pin on his chair to git him back, but he's a sneaky ba-"

"No swearing in my presence from you. Ever."

"Baaaaa—aaby! A sneaky baby and he found it before he sat on it and he looked _right at me_ like he knowed I done it but he let me off nice."

"Fascinating. Sit on this stool while I make dinner."

It was a tall stool, but Man had picked him up and set him on top of it so fast Naruto's head was dizzy. "Okay. Hey! Are you making onigiri for dinner?"

"Tuna and fruit."

"Yay! I like that stuff."

"Good."

"Hey, didja hear about what 'kage-sama did?"

A sigh. "Your ability to not run out of subject matter is astounding."

Naruto blinked. "Well, didja?"

"Which thing?" Man asked patiently.

"The underwear thing."

This time Man let out a creaky smile and said, "No, tell me."

Naruto was only too happy.

oOo

Man's name was Kinazawa Senji-san, and he picked Naruto up from school every day.

Even on days it _wasn't raining_.

After school, he would take Naruto to his house and feed him the _best_ dinners, sometimes with dessert, and then Naruto had to do his homework.

Naruto hated homework.

After that though, he got to run around for as long as he wanted and play. Sometimes Senji-san would play with him when he wasn't busy.

He wasn't busy a lot.

"What do you _do?_" Naruto asked in exasperation one day when Senji set aside a paper to play with him again.

"I live," Senji said, dark eyes sad, and carried Naruto outside by his ankles.

oOo

Naruto figured something out early on, if he could get away from Senji for a little while and pretend to go to sleep somewhere in his house, Naruto booked himself a sleepover _and_ breakfast in the morning.

He fell asleep before it was time to go often, and Senji would just smile his not-quite-so-rusty-anymore smile and take him to bed.

Naruto quietly started leaving clothes there, and Senji bought him a dresser.

He left soap, and Senji bought him towels.

He left toothpaste, and Senji bought him a toothbrush and a little stool.

Naruto thought he was very sneaky about the whole thing, and bragged to the kids at school what a good ninja he would be when he grew up.

Senji tried very hard not to give it all away by laughing until his sides hurt and hanging a sign on the second door on the left entitled 'Naruto's Room'.

oOo

"Do we have to take a walk _every day?_" Naruto asked, huddling next to one big leg as he tried to jump over mud puddles. He had been told he wouldn't get dessert tonight if he got himself dirty.

"Yes," Senji replied. "Walking is good for you, and I like it, it's relaxing."

"I don't," Naruto grumped, trying to ride more on Senji's foot than the ground.

Senji sighed and picked him up, slinging Naruto over his back.

"Yay!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto! Not in my _ear_."

"Sorry."

"Hm…"

"_Really_ sorry."

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright."

"Then run, Senji! Ruuuunnnn!"

Senji rolled his eyes, and ran.

oOo

One day, Senji didn't come to pick him up.

Naruto wasn't worried, Senji had warned him that might happen, and he just went straight to the house hidden behind the trees far, far away from the school.

Senji wasn't home.

Naruto knocked and knocked, because Senji had told him _never_ burst into someone's house without permission, but he never answered.

Naruto was not to be deterred.

He scrambled up the side of the house using a ladder Senji had left and wiggled down the chimney like Santa would have.

Halfway down, a rope snagged his ankle and he came flying out, covered in soot, to hang suspended in the middle of the room, bouncing slightly.

The kitchen was only feet away, and he could see cookies on the counter.

Naruto only bit his own foot once when he was gnawing through the rope, and his head got a bump when he landed on the floor, but he got the cookies.

Senji still didn't come home.

Naruto washed the soot off, watched a T.V. program, fed the monster in the sink his homework, gorged himself on cookies, brushed his teeth, put on his pajamas, and curled up on the couch to wait.

Senji still didn't come, and finally Naruto fell asleep.

oOo

The next morning dawned much too bright, and much too early, and Naruto wasn't ready for the big arms that pulled him off the couch or the rush of wind as he was raced to the Hokage tower.

He was a very indignant child by the time he reached the Hokage's office.

"I was sleepin'!" Naruto protested, walking around the desk and kicking Hokage-sama in the shin.

Hokage-sama grunted, and his pipe quivered. "Sorry, Naruto," he said. "But you were in danger."

"I was sleepin'," Naruto repeated to make sure the old man had heard him correctly. How could he be in danger from sleep?

Hokage-sama just shook his head. "Bring him in."

Senji was dragged in, leaving a trail of dark blood on the wood floor, and tied to a chair in front of the Hokage's desk. His hair fell into his eyes, and he was breathing hard, red staining him everywhere. Naruto gasped and tried to run to him, but Hokage-sama grabbed him and set him precariously on a thigh. Naruto hit his hand.

"Lemme go! Lemme see, Senji!"

"That is not," Hokage said firmly. "Senji. Kinazawa Senji has been dead three years."

"Nu-uh," Naruto said, pointing. "He's right there, Dummy."

"That man says he is Uchiha Itachi."

_Huh?_

"Who?" Naruto asked, wriggling forward onto a hard knee so he could be closer to the bloody man in the chair.

"An eleven year old jounin in our village, Naruto," a big hand dragged him back to the thigh. "He's trying to pass it off as time-travel."

"Cool…" Naruto said appreciatively, and saw Senji's lips turn up a bit at the corners.

"Not cool," coughed Hokage-sama, smoke coming out of his nose. Naruto hit him hard on the back. "Not cool at all."

"I think it's cool."

"Naruto," Hokage wheezed. "I need you to answer a few questions for me."

"Kay…"

"Choose your words wisely," he added. "They determine that man's fate."

Naruto shrugged. "What's 'determine' and 'fate'?"

"In this case it means what you say could mean he either goes to prison or goes home."

Naruto nodded, taking the responsibility as best as his six year old shoulders could. A pen on the desk distracted him for a minute, and he had to pick up the shiny gold thing and hit the button for a minute, but then he was ready.

Hokage-sama shook his head. "Alright. Naruto, has this man ever hit you?"

Naruto thought hard about it. "He slapped my hand when I was gonna touch the stove once."

The big hat tipped forward in a nod and Naruto giggled when it tickled his cheek. A note was made on paper with the coveted pen.

"Has this man touched in a way you didn't like in areas where you're not supposed to be touched?"

"I have _not!_" Snapped Senji, and one of the two big ANBU beside him cuffed his head. Naruto frowned, confused.

"Like… in the bath…?"

"At any time. Does he ever make you sit on his lap or touch him or-"

"Hokage that's _disgusting_," Senji snapped again.

"Oh…" Naruto said, understanding dawning. "Oh, Senji-san isn't _gay_, Hokage."

There were chokes from the ANBU.

Another note on the paper.

"What do you do when you're with Senji, Naruto?"

"We take a lot of walks," Naruto said, counting on his fingers. "And he cooks, and he makes me eat _vegetables_, and brush my teeth, and do homework, and he plays with me when he's not busy and that happens a lot 'cause he _never_ seems to be busy unlike Iruka-sensei who is _always_ busy but that's okay 'cause Seji plays with me and we play all sorts of stuff like _ninja_, and _horsey,_ and_ mud throw,_ and-"

"Naruto."

"I'm not _done_. And _board games_ and sometimes he lets me watch T.V. but he sez-"

"Says," Senji corrected, and got cuffed for it again.

"Says," Naruto repeated dutifully. "He says it will rot my brain and then it will leak out of my ears but I think that would be cool so I tried it once and I could _actually feel it happening_ so I stopped and-"

"_Naruto._"

"Wait your turn, Hokage-sama," Naruto said. "I'm still not done. …Where was I?"

"Brain leaking out your ears," one of the ANBU prompted, his mask like a bear's face.

"Yeah, so I stopped even though one of my favorites was about to come on. You know, the one with the space aliens and the astronaut?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Yeah, that one and-" Naruto took a deep breath. "Now I'm done."

Hokage-sama's face was in his hand and his shoulders were shaking, with a groan he pulled back and ruffled Naruto's hair. "You are the most precocious child…"

"I'm supposed to be precosis," Naruto said, offended.

"Really? Why?"

"I'm _six_."

"That does seem to explain all," the other ANBU said, pretty curlicues coming in to make a tiger's roar on the mask.

"Alright," Hokage-sama sighed. "You may go."

"Kay!" Naruto said happily, patted the Hokage's gnarled hand to show there were no hard feelings and walked over to Senji. He tugged on his hand. "You need to take me home now."

Hokage-sama coughed. "He can't, Naruto. He has to stay here for questioning."

"But he always walks me home!" Naruto yelled, stamping his foot, tears prickling at his eyes. "What if that pedo snake man finds me and-"

"_Naruto_."

"—TAKES ME TO BE ONE OF HIS LOVE SLAVES AND TURNS MY SKIN INTO SCALES AND IT ALL FALLS OFF AND I _DIE?_"

Naruto's rump hit the floor and he burst into tears. "Ho-hokage-sama wants me to die!"

Everyone else in the room was momentarily distracted following the logic, and then the pipe was set down with a sigh and hands were folded over the notes.

"I do not want you to die."

"Yes—you—doooo!" Naruto wailed piercingly, a full on fit hitting. He drummed his heels against the floor and _screamed_.

Poor Senji had been beaten, tortured, and tied up, but seeing Naruto cry broke the limits of his patience and he broke free of the chair, fell down, and wrapped Naruto in his arms.

No one stopped him; they all had their hands over their ears.

"Naruto," Senji called. "You are not going to die."

The wails increased in pitch.

The men in the room grew frantic.

"Naruto! Naruto if you don't stop screaming then—then-" A look at the Hokage, a helpless shrug, and "—you won't get any ramen for a _year_!"

The tears and yells stopped out of shock.

"…good," Senji said cautiously, settling back in the chair with Naruto on his lap, only wincing slightly. "Very good. Okay. There we are," awkward pat on the back, "there's a good boy."

Naruto sniffled. "You smell funny," he muttered.

"Sorry."

"Ahem," Hokage-sama said. "Considering your obvious concern for, Naruto…" A pause, quick ear clean, "You may have temporary guardianship _but-_"

"But I'll have to have an ANBU guard because, really, who knows what I'm capable of, what secrets I know, if I really killed the real Senji Kinazawa?" Senji finished dryly. "Your speeches don't change much, Hokage."

Naruto dragged Senji's head down by his black ponytail. "You're supposed to add a 'sama' at the end," he whispered loudly.

"I know."

Pause.

Confusion.

Forgotten.

"Okay!"

Sandaime sighed, and took a deep drag from his pipe. "Get out of my office."

They were gone, and a motion sent the two ANBU after them.

Sandaime's head hit the desk, and he laughed until his sides hurt.

oOo

"Naruto."

"Uh-huh?"

"_Please_ tell me you didn't come down the chimney and gnaw through that rope."

"But you told me not to lie."

Groan. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"At_ least_ tell me you did your homework."

"But you told me _not to lie._"

"I wish you were older."

"Why?"

"So I could beat you."

"…I'm never gonna grow old!"

oOo

Naruto picked at his dinner, occasionally glancing up at his brooding and silent partner. He very, very carefully tried to push his spiced tomatoes into the napkin on his lap.

"Don't _even_ think about it."

Naruto put them back, pouting.

Silence.

More picking.

"…Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

Senji sighed, and put down his chopsticks. "Tomorrow is your birthday, isn't it?"

Naruto nodded unhappily. "I guess."

"What do you want?"

"I dunno know…" Naruto muttered. "Not done it before."

Senji raised an eyebrow, his lips twisting. "Not done what before?"

"Celebrated it."

"Celebrated what?" Senji prompted.

Naruto threw down his chopsticks. "Celebrated my birthday!"

"Don't snap at me," snapped Senji. "I was just asking."

"Whatever," Naruto muttered, and shoved his chair away from the table.

Senji blew out a deep breath, and collected their plates.

"Do you want dessert?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Alright."

Naruto stuffed his seal hat onto his head, and curled up under the covers, angry. Why couldn't Senji just leave him alone? He didn't like talking about his birthday.

There was a knock on his door and a thin band of light spread up over his swirly coverlet. "Naruto," Senji called. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Naruto pulled the coverlet up higher and squeezed his eyes shut.

A thump landed on the bed and his sides were attacked.

"No!" Naruto shrieked, laughing. "It _tickles!_"

"And it will continue until you talk to me," Senji replied, fingers moving faster.

"Okay! Okay!" Naruto cried, kicking. "Okay!"

The fingers stopped, and Naruto collapsed across Senji, still giggling.

"Mm," Senji said, ruffling Naruto's hair. "That's better."

Naruto snuggled up, pressing closer when Senji tried to wriggle away. "Yup."

There was silence for a while as they just lay there and stared up at the plastic stars stuck to the ceiling.

"I want kunai," Naruto said suddenly. "And cake—chocolate—and I wanna go to the movies, and I wanna spend the whole day with you."

A nod. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Tell me a story."

Senji sat up and backed away. "I don't do stories, Naruto."

"Puh_-lease,_" Naruto begged. "An early birthday present!"

Senji hesitated, his eye twitching. "…_Fine._"

Naruto cheered, and made room for him, snuggling up when he sat on the bed. "Okay, go."

Senji snorted. "Okay, let's see… okay. Once upon a time-"

"Ooh!" Naruto interrupted. "This is gonna be a good one. All the good ones start like that."

"Uh-huh. So, once upon a time there was a boy named… Naruga, and he had a rival named Sanji."

"Those are dumb names."

"Can you come up with better ones?"

"No."

"No, then shut up. Anyway, Naruga and Sanji were ninja, and they were sent on a special, top secret mission to the Land of Waves to escort a bridge-builder named Tessai…"

oOo

"Higher! Higher! Higher! Higher!" Naruto chanted, pumping his legs.

Senji snorted. "Any higher and you'll flip over the bars."

"I know! Higher! Higher! Higher!"

It was nearing sundown, and the park was lit up with the light of the dying sun turning the sand gold and the rusty equipment to shining, twisting masterpieces. The park was a small, out of the way affair with one swing set, a slide, monkey bars, and a metal jungle gym to climb propped up in the middle. Very few even knew that the little playground existed, tucked back into twisting streets broken by rain and enthused with grass, and closed in on three sides by a tall wooden fence as it was.

It was Naruto's favorite park.

"Yum," he said, licking the sticky remnants of chocolate ice-cream off his face. "Good birthday."

"Good," Senji replied, his shoulders dropping a centimeter in relief. "I'm glad."

"Hey, Itachi, when's _my _birthday?"

Naruto looked up to see a boy standing at the entrance to the park, his hand clutching a soft looking guy's fingers, peering in at them.

"You have already had your birthday this year, Sasuke-kun," the older boy replied. "It won't be here again until summer."

"Oh. …Can I have another one?"

"No."

Senji stopped the swing, and Naruto _almost_ fell out before he righted himself. He looked up, ready to yell and kick Senji in the shin (the only part of him Naruto could reach), but Senji was rather pale and sick looking, his eyes hooded, and one hand shaking.

"Hey," Naruto asked instead. "Are you okay?"

Senji gave a plastic smile, and took his hand. "Of course I am, Naruto."

Naruto frowned. "I'm not stupid. Did you eat too much cake?"

"Maybe," Senji allowed. "Are you ready to go?"

"But we just _got here_," Naruto protested, digging in his heels and leaning back. He left two furrows as Senji kept moving, Naruto still clinging to his hand. "Why do we have to leave?"

"Please," Itachi interrupted. "Don't leave on our account. There's plenty of room to share."

'Share'. Naruto wasn't so sure about that, and the way the little boy—his brother had called him Sasuke?—was looking at him told him he wasn't either.

Senji paused, and nodded, the plastic smile falling away. "Of course there is. I was just worried about the hour."

Itachi smiled a real smile. "I-"

"What's with your face?" Naruto interrupted, pointing at him. "You have funny lines."

"_Naruto_," Senji hissed. "That was very rude."

"They are _not_ funny!" Sasuke yelled, stomping over to Naruto. "I _like_ them!"

"They are too funny!" Naruto yelled back, letting go of Senji's hand and glaring. "My _Senji_ doesn't have any!"

"Well then _he's_ funny!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Dummy!"

"Butt-muncher!"

"Bunny-killer!"

"Loser!"

"Freak!"

"Brat!"

"_Stupid_!"

"Boys!" Senji snapped, dragging them apart. "That's enough."

"But he-" Both boys protested.

"No buts," Senji said. "Naruto, you shouldn't have been so rude."

"I was just wonderin'!" Naruto protested.

Senji ignored him. "Sasuke, you can't fight _all_ of your brother's battles, there was no need for you to get involved. Apologize to each other."

They looked away, feet kicking at the ground and pouting.

"Apologize _now._"

"Sorry your brother has a funny face," Naruto muttered.

"Sorry you're so stupid." Sasuke replied.

"I am going to knock your heads together," Senji warned.

Pause.

"_Sorry_," they both spat, turned away, thumped down on the ground, and pouted.

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," Senji said, turning to him. "I don't believe we've met."

"Uchiha Itachi," a bow. "Thank you for shutting my brother up."

"Kanizawa Senji," a bow, less polished. "Thank you for the entertainment."

Itachi nodded, smiling a little. "It is too bad," he said a little louder. "That no one is playing on such a nice night."

"Indeed," Senji said. "A pity. Well, there's fresh broccoli at home anyway, and another way to work off sweets besides exercising is eating broccoli so…"

Naruto made a dash for the swings.

"Oh dear. Only _two_ swings. I wonder if anyone is fast enough to get over there before I do…"

Sasuke took off, and jumped on it triumphantly, looking back with a smirk. Senji held up his hands in defeat.

Naruto frowned at the other boy taking up _his_ other swing in _his_ park where he went with _his_ Senji.

He pushed off, throwing his legs forward and into the air. He couldn't help but notice he was higher than Sasuke, and turned his nose up at him.

Sasuke shot past him a moment later.

Naruto worked harder, and he went higher.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Naruto laughed, starting to sweat a little. "I'm gonna _win_."

"Are not!" Sasuke grunted, his face red.

"Hey!" Naruto yelled, staring at Sasuke's pocket. "Is that Commander Doom?"

Sasuke patted the action figure proudly. "Brand new."

"Woah…" Naruto said in appreciation, his swing slowing down. "They were all out when I went there earlier, but I got Lieutenant Spaz and their arch-nemesis Bloog."

"_Which_ Bloog?"

"The one that fires authentic Bloog balls!"

"Cool!" Sasuke chirped, the swings at a stop. "Go get them!"

"Okay!"

Naruto tugged at Senji's pant leg, and made his eyes extra wide. "I know you said I couldn't have them until we got home, but _please_ let me have Lieutenant Spaz and Bloog!"

Senji raised an eyebrow, but then Sasuke was there to help. "_Please,_" he added.

The pieces of plastic dropped to the ground, and the boys set off to save the galaxy with a cheer.

oOo

"Wait a second!" Naruto yelled, stopping in the middle of the street on the way home from the park. "Didn't you say you were Itachi from the _future_?"

Senji froze, looked around, and then knelt down next to him. "Yes I did," Senji said. "But you must never mention it again."

"Why?"

"Because it could cause a lot of trouble, Naruto, trouble we don't want. Promise me you won't ever mention it again." Senji said, his eyes hard and piercing, the hands on his shoulders like iron.

Naruto swallowed hard. "Promise."

Senji nodded. "Good."

"Just one thing," Naruto said. "Where'd the lines go?"

Senji paused. "I… outgrew them."

"That's good," Naruto said. "You were gonna be ugly otherwise."

Senji just shook his head, and dragged Naruto home.

oOo

"Hey, Senji," Naruto said, head lolling on Senji's shoulder, his arms limp around his neck. "Sasuke's gonna be my new best friend. Can we go back tomorrow?"

"We'll see," Senji replied.

"_Please_," Naruto begged. "I've never had a best friend before."

"…Alright. Tomorrow it is."

"Thanks. Love you…"

"Love you too, Naruto-kun."

oOo

"I'm telling you it was like this! Pshwoo!"

"No, like _this_: Pwaboom!"

"Senji!" Naruto yelled, looking up. "Is it 'pshwoo', or 'pwaboom'?"

"I would say it was more of a Kwabam," Senji said laconically, turning another page in his book.

"It was _nothing_ like a kwabam," Naruto said seriously, waving Commander Doom at him. "Seriously, _gosh_."

"Yeah," Sasuke added. "_Gosh._"

"Hn," Senji replied. "Ten more minutes, then we need to take Sasuke home."

Naruto fell back onto the living room rug with a groan. "Do we _have_ to? Can't he just spend the night?"

Sasuke nodded. "I like that idea!"

"And you can make ramen!"

"With tomatoes!"

"And-"

"Sasuke spent the night last night," Senji said patiently. "His family must be missing him."

Sasuke shrugged. "They like Itachi more anyways."

Naruto patted his shoulder. "_I_ like you more."

"Okay!" Senji announced, setting aside his book. "Time to go."

"But it hasn't been ten minutes yet…" Naruto whined, putting on his shoes. "Can't we wait…?"

"No," Senji said, handing Sasuke his backpack. "Besides, don't you want to meet Sasuke's family? Usually Itachi just comes to pick him up, this'll be your first time."

"Where _is_ Itachi?"

Sasuke puffed up proudly. "He was called to a super-secret council at the Hokage's."

Naruto's mouth dropped. "Hey," he asked suspiciously, poking Senji. "Why don't _you_ ever get called to super secret meetings with the Hokage?"

"Just lucky, I guess," Senji replied, ushering them outside. "It's chilly."

"It's _cold_," Naruto wailed.

"It's February," Sasuke snapped. "Is _supposta_ be cold."

Naruto glared at him. "Like _you're _not cold?"

"Ninja," Sasuke replied, turning up his nose. "Are never defeated by the elements."

"…I can see your boogers."

Sasuke's hand slapped over his nose. "I do not _have_ boogers."

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"You _are_ a booger."

"Ew," Naruto giggled. "Gross."

"Here we are!" Senji announced. "The Uchiha compound. Which one is your house, Sasuke?"

"There," Sasuke said pointing at a tiny palace.

_But Senji was already going there,_ thought Naruto. _He's so __**weird.**_

Senji knocked, and Naruto stamped his feet, trying to warm them up. He hated cold.

The door opened, and a sweet smile with long black hair and gentle eyes pulled them all inside. "Hello."

"Hi," Senji said, that sick look on his face again. "We're just here to drop Sasuke off." He pushed the dark-haired boy forward like a peace offering.

"How kind," the lady murmured. Naruto stared. She was the prettiest mommy he had ever seen.

Senji coughed. "Right. So, we're just gonna go now…"

"Oh no," Lady said, "Please warm up first. I have tea."

Senji hesitated. "We should really…"

"Tea!" Naruto cried. "She said we could have tea!"

Lady looked down at him, her head tilted curiously to the side. She squatted, her arms wrapped around her knees. Naruto slid behind Senji a bit, blushing. "And who are you?"

"Naruto," he said, pressing half his face into Senji's pant leg. Usually he wasn't shy of strangers, but she looked like she might break if you _breathed _on her wrong. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hm," she said, and stood up. "And you are?"

"Kanizawa Senji, Ma'am," he said promptly. "And I do appreciate your offer of tea, but we really have to-"

"Yes," Lady interrupted, her smile never wavering. "I believe that would be best." She pushed Sasuke behind her with an instruction to bathe. Sasuke waved at Naruto and raced away.

Naruto was confused. One minute they were going to have tea, and now they weren't? Why?

Lady looked at him again, and Naruto shrank back from the look in her eyes. He had been faced with those eyes in many different faces. He didn't know why he had expected this lady to be any different. He scrunched up his face and gave her the sunniest smile he could.

"Yes," Senji said coolly. "I believe we should. Good day, Uchiha-san."

"And to you, Kanizawa-san."

The door shut with a snap.

"Will I still get to see Sasuke?" Naruto asked, as Senji picked him up, holding him close. Tiny shivers ran down Senji's back, and Naruto hugged him tight.

"I chose your side," Senji said. "Over theirs. You'll see him again. I'll make sure of it."

oOo

Finding ways to see Sasuke was _fun._

Naruto wrote a note (he became better at writing quickly) and then Senji somehow got it to Itachi. Itachi took Sasuke on a walk to their meeting place, the boys would play, and then leave silently.

"It's like that episode of C&L when the two people have to meet each other in secret but win in the end," Naruto said one day.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. "I am _not_ a princess."

"No duh," Naruto said. "It's just the same con—con…"

"Concept."

"Yeah."

"…I would be okay with being the dragon," Sasuke offered.

"But I would have to slay you," Naruto pointed out.

Sasuke shrugged. "I would win."

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"_Boys_."

oOo

"Naruto," Senji said with badly veiled impatience. "_What_ are you two doing."

Naruto grinned so hard his eyes squeezed shut. "Bein' ninja."

"Mm-hmm. And that's why you're both hanging upside down from a tree."

Sasuke nodded. "Itachi showed me this cool new trap, and we set it up."

"Then we realized we would have to test it," Naruto added, wiggling his arms to try to look back at Senji from where the rope had spun him in a slow circle—a merry go 'round in their own backyard. "It's like the one on the chimney… and we triggered it."

"Good job," Senji said drily. "It works."

Naruto's grin got bigger. "Thanks!"

"Will you cut us down?" Sasuke begged, his face turning an interesting shade of red.

Senji tilted his head to the side, smiled, and shook his head. "Nope. Ninja need to learn to get out of traps. Be home in time for dinner, Naruto."

"'Kay!"

"Senji-san! Senji-san, wait! Senji-saaannnn!"

"Stop whining and use your kunai."

"It's _new_."

"Needs more scratches."

"_Fine_, but I'm not cutting _you_ down."

"Sasssukkkkeee!"

oOo

"I kinda miss being able to just go shopping for new action figures with Sasuke," Naruto told Senji one day as they left the meeting place, remembering bright awnings and smiles on sunny days and snow ball fights in the cold.

Senji nodded. "I'm sure he does too."

"Do you think he'll find a new best friend to do that with?" Naruto asked, kicking a pebble.

Senji squeezed his hand. "No, Naruto," he said. "I don't think he could ever find a friend like you."

oOo

Naruto hummed to himself as he did his homework, lying on the rug and kicking his feet in the air. Senji was spread out over the couch, an icepack on his head.

Naruto still kinda felt guilty that Senji had hit his head on that rock when Naruto had jumped off a cliff in the hopes of catching a wayward kunai. He was trying to be quiet to make up for it.

There was a knock on the door and Senji groaned. "Coming," he called, falling more than getting up from the couch and stumbling more than walking to the door.

Naruto watched him go, then crawled over to peek around the corner.

"Uchiha-san?"

Naruto shrank back, eyes going wide when he saw Lady at the door, frowning.

"Kanizawa-san," she said, her voice like a velvet whip. "There is a problem that needs to be addressed."

Senji ushered her in. "Sure," he said. "What can I help you with?"

Naruto quickly scooted back to his homework, and shrank down, his back to the couch. He didn't look up when Lady came and sat down on the couch with Senji, her back stiff and her hands clenched.

"My child," she said. "Has had continued association with your ward, yes?"

"Yes," Senji said.

"I see. And you were in full knowledge that I did not wish such a relationship to continue?" Lady asked, and Naruto felt like a speck of dirt on the floor.

"I was not," Senji replied. "You, nor your husband, have ever brought up any personal opinions on the subject."

"Yet you kept further altercations a secret."

"I assumed you had been informed. When the boys first begged for the game and I gave in, along with your _esteemed_ offspring, I presumed you had been informed of all the pertinent information and was intimately acquainted with every particular."

Naruto wasn't exactly following the conversation, but he was pretty sure Senji was trying to put all the blame on Lady.

"I was not."

"I will be sure to do so in the future."

"There will not be a future Kanizawa-san," Lady said, standing with a rustle of silk. Naruto's heart thumped hard, and his hands tingled. He could suddenly feel every woven fiber in the rug, every brush of air on his neck, and he growled. Eyes like banked coals drilled into his back. "For exactly this reason."

Senji blocked him from the drills. "Any child would be upset when they learned a mother was trying to cease any possible means of seeing a most dearly loved friend again, my lady."

"Any good mother would not allow association to continue with a _monster_."

"I AM NOT!" Naruto yelled, surging to his feet. "YOU'RE JUST A MEAN OLD LADY AND I _HATE_ YOU! YOU—YOU DON'T KNOW _ANYTHING_! SASUKE IS MY BEST FRIEND! And I… and I…"

Lady looked down at him, cold and regal, her mouth twisted into something like a sneer.

"And—and—" Naruto choked, trembling, his hands clenched into fists. Senji looked frozen, almost swaying on his feet. Naruto sobbed. "And you have boogers in your nose!" He kicked her shin and ran into his room.

Big, hot tears rolled down his face as he crawled under his bed and wrapped his arms around his knees, wailing. He wasn't a monster, he _wasn't_, and she had no _right_ to take Sasuke away and he hated her, he hated her, he _hated_ her.

He vaguely heard the door slam, and then his lights were flicked on, and Senji had wiggled his head under the bed. A hand brushed his knee. "Naruto…"

Naruto shook his head, hunkering in on himself, his sobs quieting and something a lot like a snowball squeezing his heart.

"Naruto, come here. Come on," Senji said, and carefully pulled Naruto out and into his arms, settling them onto the bed.

Naruto just sat there and sniffed, knowing that a seven year old was a big boy and big boys shouldn't have to sit and cry in their Senji's laps.

"I think you left a bigger bruise on her shin than the one on my head. She was limping when she left," Senji said with a smile.

Naruto's lower lip was trembling too hard to smile, and he hiccupped.

"You remember that story I was telling you," Senji said. "About the two boys that were best friends?"

Nod.

"You wanna know what happened?"

…Nod.

"Well, they were having their final face off, you remember that, when Sanji told Naruga that he couldn't stop his revenge anymore, and asked Naruga to kill him. Well, Naruga wouldn't, but he said he would give him a fair final bout. Sanji thought he was being cruel, so they fought once again, and at the end of their battle, when they were both very, very tired, Sanji wasn't really fighting to win anymore."

"Why was he fighting then?" Naruto asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Well," Senji said. "He didn't know."

"Oh. Seems kinda silly to fight without a reason."

"I think you're right. Naruga thought the same thing, but he fought for something very important."

"What?"

"His best friend. Sanji had a sword, and he stabbed with it, expecting Naruga to dodge, but instead Naruga stepped right in front of it."

Naruto gasped. "Did he die?"

"Yes, Naruto," Senji said quietly. "He did."

"That's _awful._"

"Yes, but as he died, he smiled and said 'told you I would bring you back'. You see, when Sanji killed Naruga he felt a change of heart. He realized he didn't want to kill anymore, and he discovered the reason he was fighting. With that knowledge, he used all his power and Naruga's to try to fix things."

"What was he fighting for?" Naruto whispered, his tears dry.

Senji smiled. "Salvation."

oOo

Naruto snuggled deeper into his covers, trying to block out the sun and the tapping sound rattling around his skull.

"Naruto, you dummy, open your window!"

Naruto frowned and sat up, the fog gone from his brain, and looked at his window. Sasuke was tapping a finger against it, perched precariously on the sill, and looking seriously annoyed. Naruto jumped up and opened it, excited.

Sasuke was visiting him in _secret_. This was the coolest thing to ever happen to him.

He moved away and Sasuke landed silently on the floor, still in his ANBU style pajamas. Naruto _wanted_ those pajamas.

"My mom says I can't see you anymore," Sasuke announced, hands on his hips. Naruto nodded, sitting down on his bed.

"I know. She came here last night and was really mean."

"She doesn't like you," Sasuke replied distractedly, as if that lessened her meanness, and then scrambled on top of Naruto's dresser. "The point is," he continued standing tall and hands on hips. "Is that it's not going to happen, is it?"

"No!" Naruto yelled, jumping up.

"We're going to be friends forever, aren't we?"

"Yes!"

"We're going to keep being friends no matter what anyone says!"

"YEAH!"

"Naruto," Sasuke snapped, jumping down and bonking him on the head. "Shut up, people are _sleeping._"

Naruto shrugged. "It's just Senji. He never sleeps anyway."

Sasuke's eyes got wide. "_Never_?"

Naruto nodded seriously. "He goes to bed but he doesn't sleep, and he always gets up with his back and shoulder hurting, like a grandpa. I jumped on him once and he threw me into a wall."

"How old is he?"

"I dunno, like, old though. Twenty five, or something."

"Huh. Do you think Senji will let you see me?"

Naruto shrugged. "He was really mad at your mom… but I know how to fix that."

oOo

"Cereal?"

"Cereal."

"Orange juice?"

"_Orange juice?_"

"Orange juice. Trust me, when I made it for his birthday he _loved_ it."

"Alright. Orange juice."

"Spoon?"

"Spoon."

"Blueberry muffin?"

"Out of the package?"

"Yup."

"One blueberry muffin out of the package."

"Stop! It's perfect."

Naruto carefully balanced the tray, and motioned Sasuke to open the door to Senji's room. He wobbled in with a smile. Senji was bent in half, his forehead touching his knees, obviously stretching out after training. He lifted his head, raised an eyebrow, and straightened up with a groan.

"What do you want? And why is Sasuke here?"

Naruto set the tray down and fell to his knees, turning on the puppy dog eyes. "_Please_ let Sasuke stay my friend."

The eyebrow crawled up.

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because my mom hates Naruto," Sasuke said from the door.

Naruto nodded.

"So we made you breakfast, so you won't hate Sasuke."

Senji didn't bother trying to follow the logic. "I'm okay with it. Just don't get caught."

"Thank you!" Naruto yelled, bowing like a heathen with his knees on the floor and his stick arms stretching out as far as he could push them, rhythmically thumping on and off the floor—his head smacked on the hard floor every time, and he didn't bother to cushion it. "Thank you mighty Senji-sama!"

Senji waved a hand. "Hn. Go home, Sasuke, I'm sure your family is worrying about you. We'll figure out how you can see each other later."

Sasuke bowed, and in his ANBU jammies and with his serious face Naruto was almost tricked into believing Sasuke _was_ a top-ranked ninja. He pouted. He could look just as cool as Sasuke if _he_ had ANBU jammies.

"And Naruto…" Senji looked down at the soggy mass of orange juice, blueberry muffin, and water with an unreadable expression in his eyes. "…I…" He sagged. "Thank you for breakfast."

Naruto beamed. "You're welcome!"

oOo

Naruto's head hurt when he first woke up, and his vision was fuzzy— like tiny little balls of fluff were wrestling on the edges.

He was being carried over someone's shoulder, his stomach roiled, he barfed, someone cried out in disgust, and the world went black again.

oOo

The next time Naruto woke, it was to gnawing metal on his wrists and his ankles and darkness. It was cold, bitterly cold, the kind that had him wishing he could rub his bones to sweep away the chill. Faint moonlight wafted in from between bars set high in the low wall. It was disorienting, and frightening, and he called pitifully for Senji.

There was no answer.

It was dark in the tiny chamber, and the only noise was the clink of his chains as he pulled at them, trying to remember what had happened.

Had he been at home? No, he had gone to school, he could still remember not-so-accidentally putting that sucker in Mizuki-sensei's hair.

He had… gone to swing after that because Senji was going to be late that day. And then—and then—

He couldn't remember.

Naruto yelled in frustration, pulling harder at his chains. He could feel each muscle in his seven and a half year old body straining as he stood up and _pushed_—

…and fell screaming to the ground when the chains were stretched too far and electricity pulsed through his body. Every hair was on end, every muscle twitching. Blue sparks danced around him like stars, as tiny knives prickled through his veins from his head to his toes.

It was an excruciating eternity passed in a second.

Once the sparks had gone, and his limbs had stopped twitching, he curled up on the dirty stone floor and cried.

Still, no one came.

After the crying passed, he slept a little more—fitful and nightmarish—and then he gave up and propped himself against the wall, chains hugged close.

He scratched at the dirty floor, his finger tracing grooves etched into its surface, a tingle of the pain earlier still sleeping in his limbs. All of his movements were slow and heavy, and his eyes drooped constantly.

_S'not fair_, Naruto thought. _It isn't bedtime. Why am I so sleepy?_

He shivered, the cold numbing his fingers and toes and ears. _I can't give up. Senji wouldn't give up. I have to—I have to… do something…_

"Stay awake!" Naruto shouted loud enough to make his ears ring. "Stay awake, Naruto!" He slapped his cheeks and worked feeling back into his fingers. He felt a little more energized now, like he had drank a glass of chocolate milk as big as he was.

He got up, cautiously at first, and then with more confidence when the chains didn't shock him.

_A good ninja sees what is around him and looks for a way out._

Walls, floor, no door, tiny window with bars—his chains wouldn't let him reach it.

_A ninja does not fear pain._

Naruto glanced dubiously at his chains. He wasn't _scared_ of the pain, he just didn't want it to ever happen again.

The ground shook, and dirt speckles rained on his head. Naruto frowned up at the roof. His old apartment used to do that, when the people upstairs threw a party. His roof would shake from their stomping feet and loud music and ceiling speckles would hit his head. Once, a whole section of the ceiling had fallen in.

He didn't think they were having a party here, so what was it?

"NARUTO! NARUTO UZUMAKI, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Naruto's heart thumped in time with the shakes. That was Senji.

"_Senji!_" Naruto wailed. "Here! I am HERE!"

More shakes, more dirt from the ceiling, but no Senji.

_He cannot hear me,_ Naruto realized. _He will hear me from the window._

He swallowed hard. His chains whispered like ghosts when he moved them, tiny clanking promises. His palms started to sweat.

_I will go very quickly, and I will call his name, and then he'll come get me and the chains will never hurt again._

His legs trembled when he took the first step, the second, and then he had reached the end of his chains. The window was on the same side of the wall as the chains, one more step, and a jump, and he could call out.

A huge explosion threw him down, and dust and debris swept through the tiny hole. Naruto shook. Was a monster out there? Was Senji okay?

_I will rescue him_, Naruto decided, and glared at the window. _No chains will hold back Uzumaki Naruto_!

He jumped forward with a yell, the chains pulled tight, and the sparks began.

He screamed, but did not fall.

Energy coursed through his body, and twisted around his spine. The pain was all he could think about, all he could see were sparks, and he kept screaming.

One tiny foot shuffled forward and inch, and then another.

The chains groaned from their support in the wall.

_Must. Save. Senji._

Red bubbled in his vision, and he took another step.

The chains were stretched to their limit—but so was Naruto. No sound came out of his throat now as he screamed, and his limbs convulsed sporadically, sometimes pulling hard enough to hurt.

He almost fell, his knees _almost_ hitting the stone floor. He looked up at the window, pushed up, and took another step.

The chains screamed louder than Naruto as they left the wall, in one horrible long _sssrrrreeeecccchhhh—_and then, _pop_ as they fell to the floor.

Naruto fell with them, totally spent, his heart hammering in his chest.

He couldn't move, could barely think, but the thought repeated itself over and over in his mind: _Senji, Senji, Senji, Senji._

More dust fell, and with them came the biggest explosion of all. Dust filled his nose and mouth, coating him, but he couldn't move.

_Senji, Senji, Senji, Senji._

Light filtered in between the cracks of his eyes, and with one last monumental effort, Naruto turned over.

He had to look _way_ up to see the unsmiling face and raised eyebrow.

Naruto smiled weakly. "Senji."

It was still Senji, even encased in some big monster that held the ceiling in its hand and the red spinney eyes and the short hair that stuck up in the back. The monster threw the roof away, and Naruto glared at it so that it would run away and free Senji and, to Naruto's great joy, it disappeared in a ray of moonlight. Senji was safe, and, a blink later, Senji was with him. Big arms picked him up and held him close, and the familiar scent of pine trees in a lightning storm, dust, and metal filled his nose. He started crying.

"Senji…"

"It's okay, Naruto," Senji said. "I've got you now."

"I've got you," Naruto repeated. "I've got you now."

oOo

Soap ran down the sides of Naruto's face as he scrubbed his scalp, trying to get all the tiny grains of sand out. Sasuke had put his head in the sandbox today, after Naruto had pushed him off the slide. Senji had rinsed him off with the hose before he was allowed in the house. It was very cold.

But, even though Naruto had sand in his hair and Sasuke had a bruise, they still got to see each other, and that was a definite improvement.

Ever since Senji had rescued Naruto from underneath the Uchiha compound, all the Uchiha had been very cooperative about the whole 'being friends' thing. They almost acted like they were scared of Senji—like he was the one responsible for destroying half of the Uchiha compound.

Not that Naruto would put it past him, Senji was _really strong_. Naruto didn't remember much of the walk back home after Senji had picked him up, but he remembered flickering fires and dust and houses just _gone_. It's not like anyone died though, Naruto still wasn't too sure what the big deal was.

"Naruto," Senji called with a rap on the door. "Time to get out. You still have homework!"

Homework. Homework that was in his backpack. Homework that was in his backpack that was in his books. Homework that was in his backpack that was in his books that had a paper tucked neatly between 'Chakra: A Beginning' and 'Math Can Be Your Friend'. (Math was _still_ not Naruto's friend.)

Books that had The Paper tucked between them.

What if Senji said no? What is he hated it? What if he…

"Two more minutes," Naruto begged.

"You said that ten minutes ago. Get out. Now."

Naruto got out. He dried off with his big orange towel and wrapped up in his fluffy orange robe and stuffed his feet into his orange frog slippers, wriggling them around.

Naruto's favorite color was orange.

He crept down the hallway, feet soft as shadows, until he could peek around the corner of the wall and into the kitchen.

The oak table where they ate filled most of the small space, tiny whorls and scratches that he knew so well now; Senji was by the big steel sink, chopping fruit on the plastic cutting board so quickly the blade was a slice of flashing light and the only noise was a steady whir. With a flourish, strawberries were added to the fruit salad.

Naruto shrank back around the corner, chewing on his lip. Could he make it to the living room without Senji seeing him? The entry hall had a partition on each side, one shielding the living room, and the other the kitchen. If Naruto could make it behind the living room partition then he could get out the paper in secret, and Sasuke wouldn't see it until Naruto wanted him to.

He swallowed hard, and checked on Senji. His back was still turned, his hands braced on either side of the sink as he stared at the cherry tree planted outside the window, its big blossoms swaying in the breeze.

Naruto bolted as quietly as he could to the partition and sank behind it, the cold white wood comforting. He risked a glance. Senji hadn't even twitched.

_Oh the cleverness of me,_ Naruto thought, and reached for his backpack.

With the paper carefully ensconced in his pocket, he went back to the kitchen and scraped his chair on the floor loudly as he got into it.

Senji shook his head and turned around, putting the fruit salad on the table next to a plate of steaming fish and rice. "Eat up. Dango for dessert."

Naruto smiled weakly, and loaded up his plate, shoveling the food into his mouth as fast as he could. He didn't want to talk.

Senji did.

"How was school?"

A thumbs up.

"What did you learn?"

Naruto gestured to show 'a lot of stuff' and speared a purple grape.

"What are you hiding?"

Naruto froze, next forkful almost to his mouth, his mouth half open, half-chewed food still inside.

"Hiwing?" Naruto asked.

"Chew. Swallow. Repeat question."

Naruto did as ordered. "Hiding?"

"Mm-hmm. Spit it out."

Naruto worked up a good spit, aimed—

"Don't even."

-swallowed. "I… um…"

Senji steepled his fingers, and _stared_.

"Please tell me, Naruto."

Naruto cracked. He whipped the paper out of his pocket and pushed it at Senji. The paper leaving his hands was like a weight lifting.

Senji was silent as he read. Naruto's heart was a hummingbird's wings, and his fingers slipped on his fork.

"You want me to adopt you."

Naruto sank down in his chair, and closed his eyes.

"How am I supposed to sign this without a pen?"

Naruto dared to peek.

Senji was smiling somewhere in the corner of his mouth, and his hand was out, fingers motioning.

Naruto felt a smile start somewhere from his toes, and by the time it reached his face it was the biggest, truest smile he had ever given.

"Pen coming up!" He yelled, and raced away.

oOo

AN: I am not liable for anyone who choked on fluff.

So... tell me what you think! I probably should have been working on my other story instead of this thing but... those plot bunnies, they're rabid. Rabid I tell you! What did you think of the characters? Did you get that Itachi was Sasuke from the future? Were there any confusing bits? Did you like it AT ALL?

Lemme know with reviews!

Thanks!


	2. Of Massacring and Elephants

Disclaimer: Um... no.

AN: Some of you may have noticed this story says 'complete' at the top. That means I am a liar. I didn't MEAN to continue it... it just kind of happened! So, here's the deal. I may or may not ever update this story again, it'll depend on whether you people like it and if I get inspired, so here's the deal... If I do add another chapter, I will take it off 'complete' and get down to business writing this thing. If not, voila, love it anyway!

Yeah, that was long and boring, sorry.

Should I have been finishing my other story instead of working on this? Yes. Am I working on the other story? Kind of... maybe... no. Was I totally an completely inspired to write this and just couldn't stop! YES! It's a sad story, but also true. Now, some things to know:

This is a story.

It is meant to be reviewed.

I made mistakes somewhere, but haven't found them yet.

Finding the mistakes is a big part of your job.

Know these things, there will be a test!

(Fun fact: This is actually longer than the last chapter! Woot!)

oOo

"Morning!" Naruto said happily, skipping into the kitchen. "It's nice and sunny outside."

"Hn," Senji said distractedly. "It is. Here's breakfast."

Naruto bit his lip and sank down onto his chair. Senji had been so remote lately. He barely talked and all he seemed to do was stare out of windows or at the empty air over Naruto's head.

"I'm going to play with Sasuke today," Naruto said.

"Good."

"Will you walk me?"

"Sure."

"Will you pick me up?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What time?"

Senji blinked, and stopped staring at the cupboards long enough to glance at Naruto. "What?"

"What time?" Naruto repeated.

"What time for what?" Senji asked.

Naruto's shoulders slumped. "You weren't even _listening_," he accused.

"Sorry," Senji said. "What were you saying?"

"Bye," Naruto said shortly, pushing his plate away. He went into the entry hall and stuffed his feet inside his shoes.

"Naruto, wait…" Senji said. "I'm sorry that I'm so distracted. I have a lot of things on my mind."

_More important than me?_

"Whatever," Naruto said. "Focus on them then. I'm gonna go play with Sasuke."

"Naruto…"

"What?"

"…Have fun."

Naruto slammed the door on his way out and ran.

oOo

It had rained yesterday.

It had been one of those wild summer storms. Where the lightning and thunder lit the house and made the foundations shake, and the wind whipped, screaming, around the corners. Where the rain slanted sideways and you couldn't see the individual drops but just a great, gray sheet sweeping over the land and seeping into the cracks; where it was there one minute, and then gone, leaving flooded fields and swollen rivers in its wake.

The streets were mud pits, sucking and inescapable to anyone who dared to venture outside. Leaves and branches littered the ground from where the wind had ripped them away and exposed the grey and brown skeletons of the trunks underneath.

Naruto jumped from mud puddle to mud puddle, laughing loudly every time the mud exploded from his impact and smacked into the sides of the house and squelched across the street to land in the trees, or, even better, when it landed with a plop all over him.

Senji never got dirty. Naruto never _saw_ him move to keep from getting splashed, but Naruto knew that he was somehow using his super-awesome-ninja-skillz to avoid the dirt.

That was half the fun of the game, trying to catch Senji evading his mud bombs. (Senji was winning 36 to 0.)

"Naruto," Senji said suddenly. "I need to talk to Itachi-kun for a little while. Why don't you just hang out here and play? Call if you need me."

"Okay," Naruto said distractedly, trying to splash a specific pattern on a wall. Senji ruffled his hair and took off.

Naruto stopped his splashing the second Senji disappeared into the trees on the other side of the road. He could make out his shadow moving in between the dripping trees for a few moments before that disappeared too.

Why did he have to talk to Itachi? They weren't friends. Senji was too old. Besides, Senji didn't take the time to talk to _Naruto_ anymore.

Naruto chewed his lip as he tried to decide what to do. All Senji had said to do was: 'Hang out and play'. He hadn't said Naruto _couldn't _leave the road. It was just (what was the word Senji used?) implanted? Imped? Icedeed? No, no, that wasn't right. Implied! Implied, that was it. It had just been _implied._

Naruto scurried into the woods.

He walked for several minutes between dripping branches and picking his way over piles of wet leaves and broken branches. The storm had ripped the forest apart and left all sorts of obstacles for Naruto's small legs.

He froze when he heard soft voices ahead, and used all the training he had learned with Senji to get close enough to hear. He had to get very close indeed. Even hidden behind a tree, he could see half the clearing. Senji was leaning against a tree, watching Itachi, but Itachi was sitting on the ground, staring at his hands and shaking.

Naruto frowned. What was going on?

"How?" Itachi choked. "How could you possibly…?"

"That doesn't matter," Senji said. "I know, and you don't need to question how. I just… wanted to let you know I'm here if you need to talk or…" hard swallow, "help."

Itachi's laughter was hysterical and raised the hair on the back of Naruto's neck.

"Help!" He yelled. "I can't have _help_. It's my mission. I have to—I need—the only thing I need is…"

Itachi bit his lip so hard blood dribbled down his chin and fell on his hands. Naruto felt like he was watching a movie. All the images paraded in front of him—he could see the wet patches on their clothes from the grass and trees, the bright red blood (the only color on Itachi's pale, cracked lips,) the heavy breathing, the pain in both of their eyes—but he felt detached from it. As if he wasn't really there; as if the blood couldn't reach him through some kind of stretched membrane that had slid around the clearing, holding them in some unattainable bubble. It was strange to be so close but so far away at the same time. He watched as Senji put his hands on Itachi's thin, shaking shoulders, but he felt only a hollow confusion inside.

What was going on? Why were they so upset? Should Naruto be upset as well? Why hadn't Senji told him?

_Why __**didn't**__ Senji tell me? I thought he trusted me._

"It's alright," Senji said. "I—"

"It's not alright," Itachi said, his voice strangled. "It's never going to _be_ alright."

_What is?_ Naruto wondered, shimmying farther behind the tree trunk. _What aren't they telling me?_

The empty confusion in his gut solidified into something like a chunk of ice. It made shivers crawl up his spine. _Why doesn't he trust me anymore? What did I do?_

"It _is_ going to be alright," Senji said, his voice quiet. "Itachi, you're _thirteen._ Putting this on you was unfair. I—"

"I'm an ANBU _captain_," Itachi interrupted. "I should be able to handle this. I _can_ handle this. I'm the best one for the job. My entire clan hates me anyway. And this way I can…"

"Can save the rest of the village from Madara?"

Itachi looked up with wide, red-rimmed eyes. "You know about him too?"

Senji nodded. "And I've got a plan. One that Naruto _cannot overhear_ you little _skunk._"

Naruto froze, and looked up to see Senji standing over him, arms crossed. Naruto tried to smile, but the ice in his gut had frozen his face into a frown.

"I'm not a skunk," he said, hurt. "And how else am I gonna know? You won't tell me anything!"

Senji frowned. "That's because it's dangerous for you to know."

"It is not!" Naruto yelled, stamping his foot. "You just don't want me to know! You've been quiet and spacey for _days_,"—silent breakfasts and faraway eyes and a clawing fear of _he doesn't want me anymore_— "and now you're being sneaky! Don't you trust me anymore?"

To his horror, Naruto felt his eyes burning. The chunk of ice had melted and let loose a torrent. All those feelings he hadn't noticed came surging up and he was caught in a whirlpool of _he's scared and Itachi's scared and I'm scared and I'm worried and confused and I didn't ask for this and why doesn't love me anymore?_

Senji sighed and got down on his knees so he was eye to eye with Naruto. He wiped a tear away.

"Of _course_ I trust you," he said. "It's just that this stuff is dangerous, Naruto. I don't want you getting hurt."

"So… you're not—_mad_ at me?" Naruto asked for clarification.

"Of course not!" Senji said, looking surprised. "Why would you think that?"

Naruto shrugged, and pretended he had never wondered if Senji didn't like him anymore or if he liked Itachi more or all the other things he had wondered. "I don't know."

Senji sighed. "Do you feel like I haven't been spending enough time with you?"

The way Senji put it made Naruto feel so selfish. He picked at a piece of drying mud on his arm. "I don't know…"

"We can tell him bits," Itachi said suddenly. He had wiped the blood from his chin. "Knowledge is sometimes the best cure for trouble."

"Not for Naruto," Senji said grimly. "The more he knows, the more trouble he gets into."

Naruto smiled, all of his bad feelings washed away. _He loves me. He wants me out of trouble, but he loves me._

"Just a _little bit_," Naruto begged. "Like who's Madara? And what does Itachi-nii have to do? And why are you so scared? And—and—"

Senji sighed. "I'll tell you about it when we get home. For now, I want you back to the road."

"But—" Naruto protested.

"No buts."

Naruto giggled. Buts. Butts. Another giggle. "But I can help!"

Senji was smiling now for the first time in days. "I know. And I'll tell you about it when we get home. For now, I need to talk to Itachi."

Naruto looked up at Itachi, suspicious. Was he trying to steal Senji away?

Itachi smiled at him.

Naruto sighed. "_Fine._ We can share Senji for a little while."

"That's very generous Naruto-kun," Itachi said. "Thanks."

Naruto nodded.

"Go back to the road," Senji ordered, with a firm shove in the right direction. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

Naruto sighed and left, his head reeling with possibilities. He was just past the trees when he caught a last few words of the conversation.

"What are you going to do?"

oOo

"Itachi-kun has orders from some very bad people, Naruto-kun," Senji explained later once they were safely enclosed in the house. "I'm trying to help him."

"Oh…" Naruto said slowly. "Well, how can I help?"

"I was hoping you could think of something," Senji admitted. "Can you think of something that would make him feel better?"

Naruto tapped his chin, deep in thought, and then smiled. "I have just the thing."

"Good," Senji said with a smile. "I knew you would."

"Take me to the store, Senji!" Naruto ordered suddenly, bouncing up. "The big one!"

"The… mall?" Senji asked. Naruto nodded empathetically.

"That one."

"Okay…"

"Oh, and this is one of those things I can't tell about huh?" Naruto added, searching for a shirt. Senji had forced him into the bath as soon as they got home to get rid of the mud.

"That's right," Senji agreed. "Now, why are we going to the store?"

Naruto grinned evilly. "For a perfect opportunity. Hurry up!"

oOo

"Not pink," Naruto decided aloud. "And not red. I don't want a bear, but I do want squishy. It can't be white or black or gray or blue. It _must_ be yellow and orange. It can't be a polar bear or a whale. It _must_ be a…a…elephant! An elephant is perfect. It can't be big either. It has to be _really_ small. Like, the size of my hand."

"I don't think anything like that _exists_," the saleslady behind him said. "It would have to be custom made!"

Naruto turned toward the toy-store lady with a frown. "How long would that take?"

The lady shrugged, her red apron tied tight. "Idk, like, a week?"

"A _week?_" Naruto yelled, and the lady winced. "I don't have a week! I need it _right now_."

Lady shrugged, and blew a big pink bubble with her gum. Naruto clapped appreciatively when it popped and she grinned at him. "Sorry kid. It'll take at least a week. But I can help you order a yellow and orange stuffed elephant the size of your hand at the register."

Naruto sighed and lowered his head, dragging his toe in patterns across the floor. He glanced up through his bangs at the sales-lady. "Will it _really_ be a week?"

"…Maybe four days," she said, leading him to the register. "I can make it priority."

_Hook, line, and sinker sucker. _"Could you?" Naruto asked, making his eyes wide and smiling. "Could you really?"

"Sure," she said indulgently. "It would cost extra though."

Naruto's shoulders sank. "How much?" he asked.

"All together…" her fingers tapped on the keys of the register, and Naruto walked around and climbed up on the little counter to watch her. She patted his knee distractedly. "It comes up as $26.58."

Naruto opened his frog purse, and dumped all the money he had brought with him on the counter. "Is it enough?"

She counted. "Sorry. You only have twenty-four dollars here."

Naruto made his lip tremble and called on all those acting classes Iruka was forcing him to sit through. A tear made its way down his face.

She tapped several keys, swiped a card from around her neck, and tapped several more keys. Naruto tried not to giggle evilly and give it all away.

"But you got a discount!" She said happily. "Your total comes out to 23.99"

Naruto clapped his hands together. "I have just enough! That's _amazing!_"

"It sure is," she said with a smile. "What's your name again?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto said innocently, batting long, dark lashes. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I'm getting this for my brother!"

"How _sweet!_" the lady said, her voice dripping with sugar.

Naruto nodded sagely and took the penny she offered. "Thanks Lady, I'm going to go find my dad now."

"Come back and see us."

"Okay!"

Naruto let the henge Senji had insisted he learn drop as soon as he was out of the store. Senji came out a second later, looking harried.

"There you are!" He said. "Where have you been?"

"I was in there," Naruto assured him, not able to keep the grin off his face.

"What have you done?" Senji sighed.

Naruto's grin grew wider, remembering the saccharine sweetness of the clerk that had thrown him out of the store on his ear just last week. "Nuthin'."

Senji shook his head. "You _will_ tell me."

"Yeah," Naruto assured him, grabbing his hand. "Later. Can I ride the carousel?"

Senji groaned. "Knock yourself out."

Naruto cheered, and ran to the spinning toys in the center of the little mall.

"I meant that literally!" Senji shouted after him.

oOo

"Sasuke."

"Urgh…"

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, _Sasuke._"

"En doo rwoowawoowara…"

"Those aren't even _words_. Wake _up_, Sasuke!"

"They were words," Sasuke said sleepily, lifting his face from the pillow. "They were 'go away and leave me alone' words."

"But you're awake now," Naruto pointed out happily. "Come on, it's summer vacation!"

"Exactly," Sasuke agreed. "That's why I'm sleeping in."

Naruto hit him. "Come _on!_"

"_No._"

"Eugh," Naruto groaned, sinking onto the bed next to him. When there was no response he repeated himself more loudly. "_Eugh._"

"Naruto," Sasuke whined. "I'm _tired._"

"Well if you hadn't snuck here in the middle of the night you wouldn't be tired," Naruto replied matter-of-factly. "It's breakfast time!"

"I don' wan' any…"

"Come onnnnn…"

"The only reason I came over was because Itachi and Dad were fighting again. To _sleep._ Let me sleep!"

Naruto sighed and slid off the bed. "Ten more minutes," Naruto offered magnanimously.

Sasuke nodded, and pulled the covers back over his head.

Naruto scurried off down the hall and into the kitchen. Senji was just finishing breakfast and the sizzle of bacon and the smell of eggs and rice made Naruto cheer.

"Food!" He yelled, clambering up Senji's leg to hand off his back and peek over his shoulder. "Food! Food! Yummy food!"

"_Na. Ru. To. _How many times do I have to tell you? Not. In. My. Ear."

"Sorry," Naruto said distractedly. "Sasuke stayed over last night."

"I know," Senji said, dumping the bacon on a paper towel. "There's enough for him."

"How do you always know?" Naruto asked in awe.

"Get the plates," Senji ordered. "I know because of my mad ninja skillz. Grab the chopsticks while you're at it."

Naruto did, setting the little table that took up most of the kitchen. "Can I go try to wake Sasuke up again?"

"No, if he's tired let him sleep. Besides, you still have your reading to do anyway."

Naruto glared at his rice with the eggs and bacon crumbled on top. "No one _else_ has to read over summer vacation."

"Sasuke has to," Senji reminded him.

"That's because he's in _summer school_," Naruto said, shuddering in disgust. He couldn't believe Sasuke was willingly going to school over summer break.

"Well, that's because you're smarter than everyone else and know the value of a good education early in life," Senji replied pouring big glasses of cool milk.

"But I don' _wanna._"

"You have your monthly meeting with the Hokage today," Senji said. "You can discuss it with him there. If you feel like I'm being unfair he can take care of it."

Naruto pouted and stuffed a bite of eggs into his mouth. "Bush zhe 'okages sho _dumb._"

"Coming from the boy who wants to _be_ Hokage," Senji replied. "Drink your milk."

Naruto took several big gulps. "Well I'm going to be a _smart_ Hokage."

"The smartest," Senji agreed. "Which is why you're going to do your reading."

"Yep," Naruto agreed happily. Then he paused, frowned, and glared. "Hey…"

Senji's eyes twinkled. "No take backs," he said.

"That wasn't fair!" Naruto argued. "You're bigger and smarter than me so you think that you can just use your twisty words to do whatever you want to get me to do something and you're _right_ which isn't _fair_ and you were distracting me with the yummy food and the Hokage and then you go and say no take backs even though there _should_ be take backs because take backs are fair as long as I do them and it isn't fair when it comes to reading because I didn't know so you should undeclare your take backs so that I can take it back and not have to do reading which no other kid has to do over their super-special summer vacation."

Senji stared at him. "Do you even pause for breath in those rampages of yours?"

"You can talk and breathe at the same time," Naruto assured him, taking several extra big bites to make up for lost time. "Yoush shoul' triesh i' someti'."

"Hmm," Senji replied, emptying his bowl in the trash. Naruto eyed the cascade of rice worriedly. Senji had been eating less and less lately, and training more and more often. Naruto knew it had everything to do with that talk with Itachi last week, but he was still trying to put the pieces together. "Don't talk with your mouth full. Go get showered and dressed, then you can wake Sasuke up. I'll make him a bowl."

"I'm up," Sauske yawned from the doorway. He slunk in still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I smelled the bacon."

"You're a bad bacon resister," Naruto said. "_I_ once held out for five whole minutes."

"_I_ just held out for six and a half," Sasuke said haughtily, bowing politely when Senji handed him his bowl. "That's a minute and a half better than _yours_."

Naruto frowned. "Well I can resist tomatoes longer."

"You don't even _like_ tomatoes."

"Which makes you insane and me better."

"Does _not._"

"Does _too._"

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Doesnot."

"Doestoo."

"Doesnot."

"Doestoo."

"Does—"

"Go get in the bath, Naruto," Senji said, pushing him out the door and down the hall.

"Does too!" Naruto shouted from the bathroom, and whipped the door closed before Sasuke could retaliate.

_Hah,_ he thought. _I win._

"Does _NOT!_" Sasuke shouted from outside the door. Naruto pulled his underwear back on and opened it.

"Does _TOO!_" He shouted.

"Doesnot!"

"Doestoo!"

"Doesnot!"

"Doestoo!"

"I'll kill you both!" Senji threatened. "Naruto! Bath! Sasuke! Food!"

"Does not," Sasuke whispered, walking down the hall.

Naruto shut the door with a muttered, "Does _too._"

oOo

Naruto woke with a start, his head full of darkness and chains and blue sparks. He shivered, every shadow in the room threatening. He didn't even want to get off his bed in fear of something reaching out from under it and grabbing his ankles.

He gathered his courage and whispered, "Senji?"

No reply, and Naruto swallowed hard. "Senji?" he tried again, louder.

Nothing.

Naruto pulled the blankets up around himself so whatever was lurking in the dark couldn't get him. He was so scared his teeth were chattering.

_What is that? My dresser? Oh they're going to get me again they're going to get me again they're going to get me again…_

_Tap, tap, tap,_ went something against his window, and Naruto screamed.

The door hit the hall so hard the knob went through the plaster and stuck there. Senji was in the door, sword out, eyes red and searching. Naruto sobbed and threw himself at his legs.

"What's wrong?" Senji asked, scooping him up.

"There were the sparks and the dark and then the tap, tap, tap!" Naruto wailed. "Kill it!"

_Tap, tap, tap._

Naruto screamed. "There it is again!"

"Naruto, Naruto," Senji said gently, leading him to the window. "It's just the wind bouncing a twig off your window. See?"

Naruto peeked out from where he had buried his head in Senji's shoulder. The moon was sparkling on the swollen limbs of the cherry tree planted outside his window, heavy with dark red fruit. One of the limbs had stooped just low enough that it could tap against Naruto's window.

"Oh," Naruto said, feeling silly. "I thought they were coming to get me."

"They who?" Senji asked as he opened the window and snapped the offending branch off. Naruto grabbed it from him and popped a cherry in his mouth happily. The sweet juice burst over his tongue.

"The people from my dream, that got me the other time. The _bad_ Uchiha." He spat out the seed and stole another cherry. Senji popped one in his mouth too, and walked down the hall to grab a bowl from the kitchen.

"Wait a minute to spit your seed so it'll land in the bowl… good boy. Well, I can assure you the bad Uchiha won't be able to get you here." Senji said setting the bowl on the other end of the kitchen table. "See if you can get your cherry pits in there."

Naruto tried. The first one missed, but the second one made it in. Naruto traded a high five with Senji. "Yeah," Naruto agreed. "You came the second I yelled, they wouldn't be able to get me here."

"Exactly right," Senji said firmly. "Hey, you got another one."

Naruto beamed proudly.

"Do you ever have nightmares, Senji?" Naruto asked. All of the cherries were gone now, and he frowned, poking at the little green leaves as though they would curl up into his little treat.

"Yes, I do," Senji said, setting him in the chair and going to clean up the pits that had missed the bowl. "Often."

"What are they about? Itachi's orders?"

"Sometimes."

"Are they bad?"

"Yes."

"Oh…" Naruto said. "Can I help?"

Senji smiled. "You help just by breathing. Now come on," he said, leading Naruto into the living room. "We'll watch television to put you back to sleep."

"How do I help by _breathing_," Naruto demanded, snuggling next to Senji on the couch. "That doesn't even make sense."

"You'll understand—"

"When I'm older," Naruto chorused along with him. Senji smiled, and turned his attention to the T.V. "Do we have to watch history?" Naruto asked, frowning at the black and white pictures and monotone voice.

"Go to sleep, Naruto."

He yawned, and curled up on Senji's chest.

"'kay."

"Good boy."

"…Hey, Senji?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you have a nightmare, do you want me to come breathe on ya?"

"Sure, Naruto. That'll probably be very helpful."

"Okay. 'Night."

"Goodnight."

Senji stayed awake to stare out the windows and reset the traps for many hours after that.

oOo

"It's _alive!_" Naruto cried, giggling maniacally and holding up his brightly colored cardboard box. "Sasuke! It's _alive!_"

"What _is_ it?" Sasuke asked. "And why did I have to go get it?"

"You had to go get it because Senji said I couldn't change into you anymore just to suit my own evil machines," Naruto said. He held up the box. "And _this_ is the Make-Itachi-Feel-Better-Present-Of-The-Century-Super-Special-Secret-Gift-To-Make-Happiness!"

"Wow…" Sasuke said appreciatively. He swiped at it. "Let me see!"

"No!" Naruto cried in shock, pulling it away. "Only Itachi can see it!"

"I'll see it when he opens it anyway."

"Yeah, _then._"

"_Naruto…_"

Naruto sighed. "Read the tag, Dipstick."

"I'm not a dipstick," Sasuke snapped, trying to read the tag while walking. "Stop moving. _You're_ the dipstick."

"Are not," Naruto said, stopping in the middle of the dusty road. "Read it out loud."

"To Itachi," Sasuke read slowly. "From Naruto and Sasuke." Sasuke looked up in surprise. "Both of us?"

"Yep!" Naruto said excitedly. "Won't he love it?"

"Itachi doesn't love anything," Sasuke said, and his eyes darkened from midnight to ash. Naruto sighed. Sasuke worked so hard in school (he was even taking _summer_ school which was the bane of Naruto's existence!) to try to be as good as Itachi, but all his brother did was ignore him. Sasuke said it was like Itachi didn't even notice he existed, except when Itachi was poking foreheads. Naruto patted his shoulder.

"He'll love this," Naruto assured. "Especially since you helped pick it out!"

"But I _didn't_ help pay for it and pick it out or anything," Sasuke said. "You should have just said it was from you."

"You helped pay," Naruto assured him. "I stole some money from your wallet at your house the other day when you weren't looking."

"Oh, okay," Sasuke said, looking relieved. Naruto watched him carefully. His eyes were normal again, and Naruto did an inward victory dance. Naruto: 1. Sasuke: 0. "What is it?"

"It's a yellow and orange striped elephant the size of my hand," Naruto said proudly, wiggling his fingers.

Sasuke stared at him. "You're kidding me."

"Nope!" Naruto said, happily oblivious. "Nice cheerful colors."

Sasuke thought about that for a moment. "That's true… But Itachi doesn't really like cheerful—"

"My point exactly!" Naruto cried. "Once he _sees_ the cheerful colors and they make him happy then… well, he'll be happy!"

"Worth a try I guess…" Sasuke said. "Does my name _have_ to go on the tag?"

"Yes."

"Darn."

"What are you boys doing?"

Naruto jumped and hid the striped box behind his back. He smiled guiltily at Itachi, and Itachi smiled back.

Sasuke stepped in font of Naruto. "We're not doing anything, Nii-san," he said innocently. "Just walking home."

Itachi kept the polite smile on his face. "You must have been practicing your lying, Sasuke, it's gotten really good."

"Really?" Sasuke asked with a grin. "Because I—"

Naruto stepped on his foot.

"Exnay on the upidstay," he hissed. Sasuke blinked, and then blushed.

"That wasn't very nice, Nii-san."

"Hm," Itachi said pleasantly. "What are you hiding?"

Naruto sighed and held out the box. "We were going to give it to you _later,_" he shot a glare at Sasuke, who shrugged. "But you can have it now."

Itachi took the box with surprise glimmering in his eyes. "My birthday was in June. You realize that, right?"

"It's not _for_ your birthday," Naruto said. "It's your Make-Itachi-Feel-Better-Present-Of-The-Century-Super-Special-Secret-Gift-To-Make-Happiness!"

"Happy gift, for short," Sasuke added.

"Right." Itachi said slowly. "Silly me."

"Open it," Sasuke begged. "I wanna see too!"

"To Itachi from Naruto and Sasuke," Itachi read, drawing out the agony. He popped open the box. "Let's see here…it's a…"

"Elephant!" Naruto shrieked, unable to retain himself any longer. "It's a elephant!"

"An… elephant." Itachi agreed, eye brow raised. "Is it yellow with orange stripes? Or orange with yellow stripes?"

Naruto shrugged. "They're just stripes."

Itachi tortured them with silence a minute more, and then nodded. "I like it."

Sasuke smiled hesitantly, but Naruto frowned.

"_Wrong_," he said. "When you get a gift you're supposed to say "I love it!" not that piddily-poodily-jacked-up-sissyness that you said. Silly 'tachi."

"Oh…" Itachi said. "I see. Well, I…" he glanced at their hopeful faces, "I…"

"Llll… ooo… vvv…. eee… iii… ttt…" Naruto offered, enunciating every sound.

Itachi's eyes crinkled. "I love it."

The boys beamed.

"I picked it out," Naruto explained. "And Sasuke paid for it and picked it up! Do you _really_ love it?"

"Of course," Itachi said with a smile. "It makes me happy just looking at it."

"That's exactly what it's supposed to do!" Sasuke said excitedly, and Naruto grinned at him. A flash of black in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

_Person,_ Naruto thought in surprise. _Hiding behind a tree. Uchiha person… who could it be?_

He giggled at his own rhyme and then patted Itachi's hand to get his attention. "Who's he?" Naruto asked, nodding in the direction of the trees.

Itachi didn't even look. "A friend of mine, Shishui-san."

"What's he doing here?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

Itachi shrugged. "He probably just wants to talk to me. Why don't you guys head to Naruto's? I'm going to talk to Shishui and then put my, um, happy present away."

"You need to name it," Naruto told him in exasperation. Why didn't grown ups understand these things?

"Hmm… how about… Nasu? That blends the names of the people who gave it me together."

Naruto shrugged. "That's okay, I guess. But don't you wanna call it something cool? Like Phantasmus or Eleawesome?"

"He likes Nasu," Sasuke snapped. "Leave him alone about it."

Naruto shrugged again. "Okay…"

"Thank you," Itachi interrupted. "_Both_ of you. Now run on home."

"I'll race you," Sasuke offered.

"Okay. Onetwothreego!"

"You're cheating!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

oOo

"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, tidilidee, there they are a standing in a row, bum, bum, bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!"

"Naruto," Senji groaned from the couch, an icepack on his head. "How many more times are you going to sing that song?"

Naruto looked up from his coloring. "How many times have I sung it already?"

"I stopped keeping track at 162."

"Ten, then," Naruto said. "Why?"

Senji just groaned and pulled a pillow over his head.

Naruto shrugged and continued singing.

oOo

"Why is Sasuke spending the night? He spends the night on _Friday_, not _Tuesday._" Naruto insisted, following Senji around the room. Senji threaded a sword through a wide black obi, and patted Naruto's head.

"He's spent the night on Tuesday before."

"No he hasn't!"

"Then we're trying something new."

"But _why?_"

"Because," Senji snapped. "Stop asking!"

Naruto drew away, stung by his tone. Senji glanced at him, and shook his head.

"Naruto," he said. "Just… promise to stay here and take care of Sasuke, alright?"

"Take care…?" Naruto asked. "What's going on?"

"And if I'm not back in two days, I left a letter for you in my nightstand. The drawer will _only_ open after two days, so don't try. And go to bed on time. And eat your vegetables even though they're gross and…" Senji stopped and sighed when he saw Naruto's wide eyes. "Just promise me."

"I promise," Naruto whispered. "I just—is it—are you gonna be okay?"

Senji gave him a quick hug. "Sasuke will be here soon. Take care of him, but if he leaves, do _not go after him_. You are the first priority. Don't leave the house. Stay safe."

"But—"

"Love ya, Buddy," Senji said. He smiled, and then he was gone.

Naruto ran to the front of the house and threw open the door, glaring out at the half-twilight of summer. The crickets were chirping and the setting sun was gilding the trees and grass in gold, the entire world was still and quiet.

"Senji!" Naruto yelled. "Senji!"

His voice echoed back to him, little and scared.

Naruto's chin trembled. "Be safe, Senji!"

oOo

"I had to stay really late at school today because I had to make up missed work after I missed yesterday." Sasuke explained as he toed off his shoes and dropped his backpack. "You heard about the funeral right? Shisui-san died."

"Oh…" Naruto said distractedly, locking the door. "Sorry."

Sasuke shrugged. "I didn't know him anyway. Itachi was really upset about it though, and everybody kept giving him these really sympathetic looks."

"Uh-huh," Naruto said, leading Sasuke into the living room and climbing onto the couch. He stood on the cushions and turned to stare out the window. The tree where Senji had taught him how to throw kunai swayed in the breeze, and the grassy spot where they laid and watched the clouds was just beginning to turn silvery in the moonlight.

Sasuke hit him. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No," Naruto said, turning away from the window and sliding down to collapse on the couch. "Not even a little bit."

"What's wrong?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. He wanted to tell Sasuke but…

"This is about Shisui-san, isn't it?" Sasuke asked. "And about Itachi and Senji and everybody. What do you know that I don't?"

Naruto bit his lip. "I can't tell you," he said, stones forming in his gut and pressing on his shoulders. They got heavier at Sasuke's betrayed glance. "I _promised._"

"If you don't tell me, you're a bad friend," Sasuke said, voice hard. Naruto flinched. "This could be _important,_ Naruto. _Tell me._"

The stones pressed so hard Naruto could barely breathe. "I don't really know. Senji just took off and made me promise to stay inside with you. Itachi… Itachi has some kind of _orders_. Super secret ones."

"He's an ANBU captain," Sasuke pointed out. "He _always_ has secret orders."

Naruto shrugged. "Okay."

Sasuke frowned at him for another minute, and then got up from the couch and stomped to the door. Naruto trailed after him uncertainly.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as Sasuke put on his shoes.

"We're never going to know what's happening, or happened, if we don't ask," Sasuke said. He folded his arms. "I'm going to find out what's going on. Are you coming?"

Naruto stared at him, the rocks in his stomach sinking. "I can't. I promised Senji."

Sasuke shrugged. "I'll go alone."

Naruto grabbed his arm. "You can't!" He shouted wildly. "I promised to keep you safe!"

"Safe from _what?_" Sasuke snapped. "My own brother? Come _on_, Naruto. Get real."

"I don't know what," Naruto admitted. "But it's not Itachi I'm worried about!"

Sasuke searched his eyes, and then sighed. Naruto felt some of the rocks get lighter.

"Come with me," Sasuke begged. "I don't wanna go alone. _Please,_ Naruto. I'm your best friend, aren't I?"

Naruto felt like he was being pulled in two directions. Senji's promise had one half, and Sasuke had the other, and he was being stretched like a rubber band. Naruto knew what happened to rubber bands when they were pulled too far. _Ker-snap!_

Sasuke looked up at him, big eyes pleading. Senji's eyes were so much like his it was scary.

Sasuke. Senji. Sasuke. Senji. Sasuke. Senji. Sasuke. Senji. Naruto saw every moment with both of them parading before his eyes. Meeting Senji at the swing, walking home with him, long nights in front of the fire laughing, the cherries, being rescued from the Uchiha. Meeting Sasuke at the swing, long nights curled up under the covers giggling, the elephant…

He sighed.

"Senji might be in trouble," Sasuke added. "Le's just go _look._"

_Looking,_ Naruto thought. _Looking isn't so bad, right?_

Sasuke grabbed two of his fingers with his. "Come with me."

Naruto opened his mouth to say no, he couldn't, he had promised, but what came out was: "Let me get my shoes."

_After all,_ Naruto reasoned as he ran out the door. _Senji might be in trouble._

It didn't make him feel any less guilty, but he left those feelings with the swinging door of his home and his footprints in the dust.

oOo

"This is _creepy…_" Naruto whispered, walking through the still Uchiha streets. He couldn't even hear the crickets chirping anymore.

"Yeah…" Sasuke agreed. "They should have lit the lamps by now. It's too early for everyone to be in bed."

Naruto had actually been commenting on all the Uchiha symbols and silence and funny smell in the air, but decided that the dark was pretty creepy too. It gave him the shivers, like spiders crawling up his spine.

He yelped when he accidentally kicked a rock.

"Shh," Sasuke hissed as Naruto rolled on the ground, clutching his toe and moaning. "You're gonna wake everybody up! Do you know what Auntie would _do_ to me? She has a wire broom, Naruto. _Wire._"

Naruto just groaned. "I stubbed my toe!"

Sasuke winced in sympathy. "Yeah, well…"

"I. Am. Going. To. _Kill_. You."

Naruto froze and looked up, eyes wide. Senji was standing above him, blocking the light of the moon, fists white-knuckled and shaking. His eyes were red as blood boiling in the sun, the tomoes as black as charred ebony.

Naruto gulped.

"Um," he stuttered, scrambling up. "Um!"

"It was my fault," Sasuke said quickly. "I made him come with me."

Senji turned his glare on him, and Sasuke's eyes went wide. "You have—"

"You," Senji said, shoving them back the way they had come. "Will go home now."

"But—" Both boys protested.

"_Now._"

Senji hadn't raised his voice, but the soft hiss still raised every hair on the back of Naruto's neck.

Sasuke looked just as terrified.

"O—okay," Naruto said. "We'll—"

"Oh by all means _stay,_" someone else said. If Senji's voice had raised all the hair on Naruto's neck, _this_ voice (this deep, ugly, _twisted_ voice) raised all the hair on his body.

Senji had gone still.

Naruto was too scared to look around, to the origin of the voice, and he couldn't stop shaking. He didn't understand. What was he so scared of?

Naruto blinked.

And Itachi was in front of him, dragging Sasuke and him into Itachi's strong arms. Naruto wrapped his arms around his neck and clung there.

Blink.

And they were on a rooftop, chasing the moon and racing the wind away from Senji and the voice. "We can't leave him!" Naruto yelled. "T-t-t-take me back!"

Blink.

Blood sparkled across Itachi's leg and he stumbled, falling to the ground. Naruto and Sasuke screamed.

Blink.

Itachi landed hard on his back, and more blood was on his lip as he bit it to keep from screaming.

Blink.

And Naruto was in someone else's arms, and they were like iron bands— one around his throat, the other around his waist. He gasped.

Blink.

And Senji was there, standing in front of Itachi and Sasuke, eyes wary.

"Let Naruto go," he said.

Naruto noticed the man holding him smelled of blood and sweat and was breathing hard. Senji was bleeding too. Naruto squirmed a little bit.

There was a long silence. "No," said the man. "I think I have a better idea."

And the world went black.

oOo

Naruto woke slowly, his head pounding. He felt like he had gotten into a rock-pillow fight with Sasuke and lost. He sat up, rubbing his head, and looked around. All he could see in any direction was a seemingly endless black plain, weak light casting the area in twilight. He couldn't tell where the light was coming from, but it had a reddish tinge to it that had Naruto rubbing his eyes.

Where was he? Where were Senji, and Sasuke, and Itachi? The last thing he remembered was some guy holding him, Senji's angry face, and then nothing.

_Crap_, Naruto thought, _now what?_

There was nothing to do on the plain, nothing besides the uniform monotony, but Naruto stood up, dusting off his pants, and chose a direction at random. He started running.

The ground was smooth and slippery, like wet plastic, and Naruto stumbled and fell over several times as he ran. Even though he ran for what felt like hours, nothing changed. The weak light stayed uneven and just on the edge of his vision, the floor and air soaked up the light instead of reflecting it, the only sound was the _slap, slap, slap,_ of his feet, and Naruto's legs never got tired.

_Maybe I should call for help,_ he thought unhappily as his legs slipped out from under him again. He landed hard on his rear and little tears burned his eyes. He sniffed hard, refusing to cry. _I want Senji._

He drummed his heels against the floor, creating his own rhythm. _Tap, tap, ta-ta-tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap, tap, tap._

"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, tidildeedee," Naruto sang, just to fill the silence. "There they are standing in a row, bum, bum, bum. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Head… Head…"

He bit his lip.

Naruto knew, had always known, there was something inside his head; something different, something powerful, something that made everybody else afraid of him. He could hear it sometimes, late at night, humming lullabies of fire and ash to itself. He had never seen it, never really cared, but he knew something was there.

The question was: Would it help him now?

_Here goes nothin'_, Naruto thought, and screwed his eyes closed.

_I need help,_ Naruto thought, trying to direct his thoughts inside. _I need out._

Nothing happened. No haunting melodies, no unhappy feelings… nothing.

_I'm __**trapped**__,_ Naruto tried again. _I need __**out.**_

His fingers trembled slightly. Naruto took it as a good sign. The something would help him. He knew it.

It had to.

_Trapped in a bad place! Help me get out!_

Naruto gasped in pain as claws ripped through his fingernails and something undulating and red made his arm spasm and jump. Without thinking, Naruto yelled and lashed out, trying to get the pain farther away from him.

One claw snagged on thin air, and _pulled_.

"Stupid!" Naruto shouted, cradling his arm. "Stupid something! That _hurt!_"

There was only smug silence in his thoughts, and Naruto's eyes blurred as they started to tear. "_Ouch_," he said for emphasis. "_Oooouuucccchhhh…_"

"Give him back!"

Naruto's head snapped up in delight, the pain forgotten, trying to locate where Senji's voice had come from. The plain was unchanged, except that a different kind of light was swimming through from a little hole directly in front of him. Naruto crept closer and peered out. He could only press on eye against the little rip, but it was enough to see outside and…

Senji!

There was Senji. Standing there breathing hard and angrier then Naruto had ever seen him, but there was Senji.

"Senji!" Naruto yelled. "Senji! I'm right here!"

Senji glared at him, and seethed. Naruto drew back, confused. Why was Senji angry at _him_? What had he done wrong?

A voice boomed through the dark plain, and Naruto slapped his hands over his ears. It was like thunder echoing through the long dark, but a hundred times louder.

"As far as I see it, you have a choice," said the voice. Naruto recognized it as the mean man and stuck his tongue out on principle. "You know the place I put Naruto, that if I die, he goes too. You have no hope of getting him out because he's in _my_ time bubble. So here's my deal for you: I will give you Naruto, if you help me kill the Uchiha."

Senji drew in a horrified breath, his skin turning to marble and moonlight.

Naruto knew Evil Man was smiling. "Itachi is, after all, useless to me now. He's broken his back. No permanent damage of course, but he won't be up and about for a while."

Senji looked so upset that Naruto shouted: "It's okay! Just leave me!"

But Senji didn't hear him, and he was breathing so fast his chest rose and fell fast as a hummingbird's wings.

_Hmm_, Naruto thought. _He doesn't look so good… Poor my Senji._

"I—" Senji gasped. "I can't—"

"That's all right," said Evil Man, and Naruto had to cover his ears again. "It's your choice. In three…"

Senji's eyes widened, and he was looking over Evil Man's shoulder.

"Two…"

Naruto didn't understand what was going on, and he couldn't see very well from the little hole ripped in the blackness, just Senji's face and chest and the night sky. What made Senji afraid?

"One…"

Blue sparks danced around Senji's hand, and then electricity was shooting past Naruto and someone screamed.

"…Oh. Oh, very good…"

Naruto's point of view swiveled and he was staring at a man on the ground, a smoking hole through his chest. Naruto recognized him as Sasuke's dad.

_Why? What's going on?_

"Well," Evil Man said, and Naruto was looking back at Senji's face. He was staring at nothing, shaking and sweating, and then he was quite suddenly and violently sick.

"Senji!" Naruto yelled, fear and concern gripping him. "Senji!"

"One down," Evil Man said. "Two-hundred fifty-seven to go?"

Senji looked up, and for just a moment met Naruto's eye. He stood up and swiped at his mouth, wiping the stomach acid away.

"Two-hundred fifty-seven to go," Senji whispered and disappeared.

oOo

"Here," Evil Man said casually, and Naruto fell into Senji's hard arms. Senji pulled him close, eyes hard. Naruto wrapped his arms around his neck, shaking hard. Lady Uchiha and the nice Auntie and Uncle (with smoking holes through their hearts and eyes wide in surprise) and so, so many others faces flashed before his eyes (mouths twisted in silent screams and fists clenched in a last act of defiance), each dead, empty shells. All Naruto could think about was (the _smell_ and their sudden, chokingdyingstopping screams that still rang in his ears) them. He held Senji more tightly, and Senji squeezed hard enough to bruise. Naruto didn't mind. It made him feel safe.

"We'll see each other again, I'm sure," Evil Man said. "You're very… interesting."

"The next time we see each other I'll kill you," Senji hissed. "Leave. Now."

"…Have a good night."

It was quiet for several long moments, Evil Man's words reverberating in the air, and then Nauto broke down and sobbed. Senji stayed hard as a stone.

"I-I used to _hate_ them," Naruto cried. _And I can't hate them because they're gonegonegone and they're going to haunt me forever. _"I was so mean!"

"You weren't mean," Senji said mechanically, loosening his grip so that Naruto could breathe a little better. "None of this was your fault."

_All my fault. _"I left. I left the house."

Senji's lips pressed together. "You're seven—"

"—and a half!—"

"—I shouldn't have expected you to be able to do something like that. I should have left you with someone. I should have, _Gods,_" Senji buried his face in his hands. "What was I _thinking?_"

Naruto just hugged him tighter. "I love you," he said. "I love you-" despite what you did, "I love you—" and know you'll never hurt me, "I love you—" thank you for saving me, "I love you!"

That line crippled Senji, and he fell to the ground, heaving with hysterical sobs. It scared Naruto a little bit; Senji _never_ cried, but all he did was hold on tighter. Senji babbled something, stuff Naruto couldn't keep track of, and then he just cried.

Naruto held on, and cried with him.

They were still crying when dawn crept over the trees.

oOo

"The hospital _sucks,_" Naruto announced, flowers clenched tight in his fist while he ran with Senji down the hall. "I can't believe that they said we couldn't see Itachi!"

Senji glanced back to where the nurses were chasing them, and shook his head. "It didn't stop you."

Naruto shot him a look. "_Duh_. Which one was Itachi's room again?"

Senji dragged him in to one on the left marked 204A and shut the door quickly. Naruto skipped happily over to the bed and put the wilting daisies in a cup on the nightstand and then used a chair cleverly positioned by the bed to crawl up next to Itachi. Itachi smiled at him wanly.

"Hey," he croaked. "How's Sasuke?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "_Sasuke_ tried to escape again today to come see you. Dummy. I mean, you think he would figure out he's _not going to get away_ after, like, the _tenth_ time. You know he accuses me of being dumb? I mean, really! What is up with that?" Pause. No response. "I'll tell you what's up with that! Crap. Absolute and total crap. _Seriously_. What's wrong with him? Medical misery I tell you! I'll bet they'll have ANBU watching him before this is over. I mean, he'll be sitting there coloring or eating or talking or sleeping or trying to scratch his IV out of his arm one minute and the next… Kwaplooie! He's out the door saying shock and PTSZ aren't _real_ diseases. And then I have to sit on him."

Itachi snorted, and Naruto shot him an offended look.

"Have you ever _tried_ to sit on Sasuke? He pokes!"

"Naruto," Senji interrupted, smiling. "Itachi isn't supposed to get excited."

Itachi was sitting in the bed, holding his ribs and giving a rusty laugh punctuated by moans when his back moved too much. Naruto just smiled.

"Laughter," he said haughtily. "Is the best medicine."

"Coming from the boy that mispronounces PTSD."

Naruto blinked at him. "What are you talking about? You're crazy, Senji."

Itachi started laughing all over again. Naruto giggled. Itachi had a nice laugh, he decided, like sunshine. Naruto had never heard him laugh.

Naruto slapped his foot to get attention, and then dug around in his pocket for the special treat he had brought along. He held it out to Itachi triumphantly, and the laughing boy stilled and then stared. "Is that…?"

"Nasu," Naruto said happily, pushing the elephant into his hands. "Hospital rooms are not happy. Nasu makes you happy. Therefore, Nasu will cancel the unhappy with his happy and then you can be happy because Nasu has enough happy to kill the unhappy and still give!" Naruto beamed. "Am I a genius or what?"

Itachi was silent, so Senji filled the pause. "Therefore? Since when did you use words like therefore?"

Naruto put his nose in the air. "Since I became awesomer than you. _Duh._"

"Thank you, Naruto," Itachi interrupted suddenly, holding the elephant almost reverently. "I just… thanks."

"You're welcome!" Naruto chirped, jumping off the bed and glancing at the rattling door knob. "Senji!" he cried in shock. "Did you lock the door on the pretty nurses?"

Senji smiled deviously. "I did indeed."

"How is Itachi ever going to recover?" Naruto yelped running to the door. "He needs them!"

"Why?"

"The boobs!" Naruto screamed, and Senji and Itachi choked. "Big boys need _boobs!_" (Naruto didn't know _precisely_ what boobs were, only that big boys _really_ liked them and they were squishy.)

"I don't— I didn't—_Naruto!_" Itachi gasped, his ears red. Senji was in a state of shock and completely silent, his mouth hanging open. Naruto shrugged and opened the door.

"Woah," he said. "You are _exactly_ what Itachi needs to feel better."

The red-haired nurse outside the door raised an eyebrow, and waved a pink-faced, fuming girl off, looking totally relaxed. "You're right," she said. "I am. And let me guess, you're Naruto, aren't you?"

Naruto nodded happily, trying to look cute. The nurse smiled and tapped his nose with her finger. "Well aren't you cute?"

"Yes," Naruto said, happy his efforts had paid off. "Yes I am."

She laughed, and led him back into the room. She set her hands on her hips when she saw Itachi propped up against his pillows.

"I hear," she said. "You need boobs."

Itachi choked again and Senji snorted.

"Sorry I can't accommodate," she added with a grin. "But I'll do my best to make you feel better anyway."

Naruto eyed her. "I think you'll be fine," he said.

She giggled and pinched his cheek. "Thanks, Honey." _Itachi's face is like a tomato_, Naruto thought with glee. _I will tell Sasuke and he will laugh and I will have thirty-two points. _He cackled. He was winning the frowns versus smiles contest by a mile.

"I think we'll head home now," Senji said, scooping Naruto up. "We've caused enough damage to last a week."

"We haven't even broken anything yet," Naruto protested as he was carried to the door.

"Come back any time," the nurse said. "The name's Doctor Kamiya."

"Kinazawa Senji," Senji said. Naruto grabbed onto the walls, desperate to not leave. He _liked_ the nurse. She had pretty skin and big blue eyes and a braid that Naruto bet he could hang off of. "Thank you."

She nodded, and Itachi waved, and then Naruto was out in the hall, his fingers leaving marks in the plaster, and the nurses were shooting him dirty looks as Senji carried him out of the hospital.

It was raining when they got out, and Naruto took just a moment to breathe a sigh of relief before he banged on Senji's chest and started screaming again.

oOo

The rain stopped by nine o' clock, and the clouds were gone by midnight. Naruto woke up screaming at 12:05, and all he could see were smoking corpses and moonlight shining on the walls.

Senji put another hole in the wall when he slammed the door open.

Naruto didn't say anything, he just held out his arms and Senji picked him up and carried him into the blue room with the warm bed and dark curtains. Naruto wasn't usually allowed to sleep in Senji's room, but as the nightmares came more and more often, Naruto found himself crawling in between the stark sheets and snuggling up next to Senji.

"I wonder what it is about the moon," Senji mused as Naruto curled up against him. "That makes you have these nightmares."

Naruto shrugged, and fascinated himself for several minutes by smoothing a bit of Senji's hair down and watching it pop back up again. It brought a smile back to his face.

"Do you want me to blow it up?" Senji asked.

"The _moon?_" Naruto said disbelievingly. "_Seriously_, Senji?"

"Very seriously," Senji said, eyes sparkling. "You don't think I could do it?"

Naruto considered him for a minute, and sighed. "You could," he admitted. "But a lot of people _like_ the moon. It wouldn't be very nice of us to blow it up when they like it so much. I mean, people have to have it to kiss, and it makes the dark go away, and I used to like it, you know, _before_, because the lights would go out and I couldn't turn them back but the moon let me see. It's a nice moon."

Senji smiled and kissed his forehead. "That's my Naruto, always thinking of others. Well then, I have a question for you…"

"Mm…?" Naruto asked, snuggling deeper into the covers, sleep dragging at his eyes.

"Would you be alright with Sasuke and Itachi moving in?"

Naruto sat up so fast he banged Senji's nose and it started bleeding everywhere. "Oops," he said, not really sorry. Senji didn't feel little pain. Even though his nose was bleeding, all he did was roll his eyes and grab a tissue. "You mean Sasuke would live here _all the time?_" he demanded, as soon as Senji was mildly recovered.

"Yeah," Senji said, voice nasal. "That's pretty much what it means."

"Cool!" Naruto yelled. He jumped off the bed. "Let's go tell them!"

Senji grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back. "_No._ You'll sleep first. We'll tell them in the morning."

"Nonononononono-!" Naruto insisted, legs churning uselessly in the air. "I wanna tell them _now._ Sasuke can sleep in my room and it'll be so _cool_ and he'll just love it and we'll be like brothers and I guess Itachi can be my brother too and it'll be just awesome and… come _on_! Lemme go!"

Senji pinned him with one arm and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Naruto."

"NOOOOO…!" Naruto wailed. "I wanna tell them now…!"

"Mmm."

"You're so mean! Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemmegolemmegolemmego!"

"Shut up and sleep."

"Sssseeeennnnjjjjiii…!"

"Sweet dreams."

"Argh!"

oOo

Itachi and Senji were in the dining room cooking and talking grown up stuff. Sasuke was staring listlessly at the T.V., flinching at any loud noises. Naruto was on the rug, coloring something disturbing with a lot of orange and red crayon.

He glanced up, frowned, and left the room.

Sasuke never saw him coming.

"Panty-hose attack!" Naruto yelled, jamming the thin material over Sasuke's head. Sasuke screeched, and tried to pull it off, but it was stuck fast. He roared in anger and chased a laughing Naruto in to the kitchen.

Itachi yelped and just barely caught the glass salad bowl as it fell off the table and Senji had to execute a move involving jumping onto the counter without spilling hot oil and grabbing the panty hose.

Naturally, still being attached to his face, Sasuke fell on his butt with a yelp and Naruto fell on the floor, laughing.

"Naruto!" Everybody yelled, and he grinned.

Naruto: 1 Sadness: 0.

Everything was going to be just fine.

oOo

AN: Yeah. Super corny, I know.

BUT I LOVE CORNY!

So tell me what you think! I'm pretty freakin' excited about this thing, and I'm kinda a glutton for any review I can get. (Or being favorited or alerted or any of those others eds.) Did you like it? What parts? What could I improve on? Is Naruto the cutest thing on the planet, or just annoying and bleh?

I know, I'm needy. Sorry.

Please review!


	3. Of Leaving and the Bending of Rules

Disclaimer: Yes, of course, absolutely. That's why I write FANfiction.

AN: You may have noticed this story got shorter.

Technically, it didn't, it was just greatly condensed... and rewritten.

Yes! I rewrote the story. The whole, great chunk of it, which is why I haven't updated in so long. I didn't like the direction the story was taking so I went back and killed everything I despised and made may parts anew. Now, I like the direction, and I will not do any more surprise rewrites.

Probably.

I think.

Thank you all so much for your support so far, I really appreciate it. I will be posting the original story chapters in another story, so that if you particularly liked a part you can tell me and I'll work it in.

Okay, yeah, enjoy!

oOo

"Senji…" Naruto keened. "Senji… Wake uuuppp…"

Senji groaned and rolled over, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Naruto frowned and climbed on top of him, bouncing a bit on his chest. "Wake up, please?"

Senji didn't twitch.

Naruto frowned and

on the mattress with a laugh, and kicked Senji.

"You pushed me," he pushed Senji's arm above his head, pressed his little fingers against Senji's eyelids, and forced them open. "Wake up!" Naruto yelled.

Senji gave the loudest groan of all, and pushed Naruto off of him, throwing his arm back over his eyes. Naruto landed accused. "Do it again!"

"Naruto," Senji sighed. "…What time is it?"

"Breakfast time, brrreakfast time. Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast, breakfast time," Naruto sang, bouncing off the bed and dancing over to the door. "We'll have eggs, and bacon too, and ramen if we can convince Senji… to! Yay!"

Senji just sighed again and raised himself far enough off the pillows to see the clock. "Seven thirty," he read aloud. "How can it already be seven thirty?"

"Seven thirty!" Naruto yelped happily. "I know a song about that too! Wanna hear it? Seeeevvvvveeeennn thiiIIrrrtttyyy…"

"I am going to rip out your vocal cords and feed them to Sasuke," Senji threatened. "You talk too much, he doesn't talk at all… it is the perfect solution."

"Sasuke wouldn't eat my vocal cords, Senji," Naruto pointed out. "He doesn't like meat."

"Well maybe he would if it was Naruto flavored," Senji countered, levering himself out of bed and stretching.

"I would taste good," Naruto conceded. "Hey, how come I have to wear a shirt to bed but you can just wear bottoms?"

Senji didn't reply, busy settling himself into a handstand. Once he was secure, and realized Naruto was still staring covetously at his pajama bottoms, he said: "Would you like me to assign you to read all the studies that assure children need to be slightly warmer than adults at night due to size, blood flow, etcetera?"

"Etcetera," Naruto hissed, immediately distracted. "Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! What's etcetera mean?"

"And so forth."

"Etcetera…"

"Naruto."

"—"

"Naruto."

"Etccceeetttteerrrraaaa…"

"Na. Ru. To."

"Yes, Senji?" Naruto asked innocently, still rolling the word around inside his mouth. It made his tongue tingle.

Senji collapsed slowly from his handstand and somehow ended up in a full split. He breathed out slowly. "Go take your bath while I make breakfast, and then wake Sasuke up. We have to go get Itachi from the hospital today."

"Okay," Naruto sighed. "Can't I just bath when I get home?"

"You mean _bathe_ when you get home?"

"Yup!"

"Nope! Move it, or I'll make you move it."

Naruto shrieked as Senji swiped at him and ran into the hall, slamming the door behind him and running to barricade himself in the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and pressed his ear against it, listening carefully to see if Senji was chasing him.

…Nope.

He shrugged and kicked off his pants. He had his shirt half over his head when he noticed something was wrong.

His stool had moved.

Naruto knew it from the moment he glanced around their fish-themed bathroom. Something was different, something was off, and that 'something' was definitely his stool. The rug wasn't mussed beneath the plastic feet, and it hadn't moved a whole lot, but it _had_ moved.

_It was not Sasuke_, Naruto thought. _Sasuke messes up the rug. It was not Senji. Senji does not touch __**my**__ stool._

Naruto was rather particular about his stool. The bright blue stool with the orange letters glued on top spelling out 'NARUTO' had been one of Senji's first presents to him, and he treasured it almost as much as his Hokage pajamas. (_Limited edition_ pajamas are what Senji had told him. Senji have given them to him as a present for getting an A on a spelling test.) He always lined up the space between the 'R' and 'U' on the top with the crack between the cabinet in front of the sink. Everyone knew not to move it an inch.

Someone had moved it. The crack was lined up with the 'U' and 'T', exactly half an inch to the left.

"SENJI!" Naruto wailed, tripping over his pajama bottoms, scrambling up, and then running into the door because the fall had made his shirt ride up over his eyes. "Ow," Naruto muttered, jerking his shirt off. "Stupid door. SENJI!"

He ran down the hall, past a half-asleep, slightly-murderous Sasuke and into Senji's arms.

"Naruto!" Senji cried in surprise. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Senji! Senji!" Naruto yelled. "Something is wrong!"

"_What's_ wrong?"

"My stool moved!"

There was a pause where Naruto was busy breathing hard and the two other males of the house were looking at with varying degrees of disbelief and annoyance.

"That's it?" Sasuke snorted. "You started screaming because your _stool_ moved? I fell out of bed!"

Naruto glared at him. "It _is_ a big deal!"

"Why is it a big deal?" Senji asked tiredly, rubbing at his eyes. Naruto felt a sudden surge of guilt. Senji had been so tired lately, so sad, and Naruto was just giving him more to worry about.

"B-because," he stuttered. "It means… it means—um, someone moved it, and you don't move it and Sasuke doesn't move it like that and… um…"

"So someone else moved it?" Sasuke asked excitedly. "Like they broke into our house? Cool… Maybe it's one of those conspiracies where they…" Sasuke continued babbling about secret passageways and famous ninjas and Senji started shepherding them down the hall to the bathroom. Sasuke liked conspiracies, whenever there was a mystery in a book or on T.V. he always said 'conspiracy' and he figured them out and he was always right.

"and—hey! Naruto, it hasn't even moved."

"It _has_ moved," Naruto snapped. "How can you not see that?"

Senji set Naruto down and crouched beside the tool, black eyes fading to red. "Hmm," he said. "…Hmm."

"What kind of hmm is that?" Sasuke whispered.

Naruto winced. "Not the good kind."

"I think I moved it while I was cleaning," Senji said, not turning around. "Sorry."

"Oh," Naruto said sadly. "Really?"

Senji ruffled his hair. "Really. Good observation though, that's important for a ninja."

"Really?"

"Really," he said, tucking a piece of pink string into his pocket. "Now get bathed and ready, after we pick Itachi up, we have a funeral to go to."

"Whose?" Naruto asked curiously, ignoring Sasuke's cries of disgust as he fled the bathroom, Naruto's full moon following them. He giggled.

"An old friend's," Senji said happily, and cackled as he shut the door.

oOo

"Now you're not to lift anything heavy for awhile and you are absolutely _banned_ from missions for at least a week. No excuses, no substitutions, no complaints," Dr. Kamiya ordered, writing down all of her demands on a list and handing it to Itachi.

Itachi nodded obediently, tucking the list into his jacket and smiling up at her from his wheelchair. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Ah, don't you play sweet with me," she said, tapping his nose. He rolled his eyes.

Naruto stood by the crisply made bed, pouting. Itachi was getting all the attention, and Sasuke was the one that was getting to sit with him in the wheelchair looking terribly sick and important. Wheelchairs made people look that way.

"Alright, come on then everyone," Senji ordered, wheeling Itachi and Sasuke out of the room, Naruto trailing behind. "We're on a schedule. Naruto and I have to be home in time to change."

"Where will you be going?" Doctor Kamiya asked, already checking her next patients chart.

"Funeral," Senji said, trying to make himself sound sad, but only succeeding in sounding less gleeful. The doctor raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged unapologetically. "It's Danzo."

"Ah," she said, nodding. "I suppose I'll have to miss it. It's a pity, from what I've heard he was a great man."

"From what I've experienced he's a cold-hearted tyrant," Senji replied, and Naruto tuned out the rest of their conversation in favor of talking to Itachi and Sasuke—interspersed with looks of regret and envy at the wheelchair.

"What are you going to do when you get home?" Naruto asked, letting one finger brush the top of the plastic wheel. It hissed against his skin.

"I'm going to bathe," Itachi said immediately. "I hate hospital smell."

Naruto took a deep breath, smelling antiseptic and fake, powdery things. He blew through his nose, hoping to clean it out. "Eww! It does smell _nasty_ in here."

"This smell is better than what you could be smelling," Doctor Kamiya said suddenly. "People do some nasty things on this floor."

Naruto glanced down at the shining white tiles, and tried to dodge all the tiny stains he could see. He was so wrapped up in that, he didn't even see the door until he had bonked right into it.

He fell on his rear, blinking tears more of shock than hurt from his eyes, and then let out a howl. "My buuuutttttt!"

"Oh," Doctor Kamiya said, picking him up. "Yes, I can see why that would hurt. Don't worry I have just the solution."

And she did.

_Doctor Kamiya_, Naruto thought, as Senji maneuvered two wheelchairs out of the hospital, with Sasuke and he crammed into one and Itachi sprawled in the other, _is a complete genius._

oOo

"For faithful, enduring service to his village throughout his esteemed life," droned the priest, half-asleep himself. "We hereby bury the Elder Danzo in reverence and respect and carve his name into eternal stone with the many other bright names that have been a keystone in the foundation and continued protection of this village. May his warrior soul watch over the village in all the years to come so that our fire may never be dampened in war, strife, or death."

Naruto knocked his head against the side of Senji's leg rhythmically, occasionally tugging at the collar of his tight, itchy black dress clothes.

_I'm so bored_, Naruto thought. _Bored, bored, bored, bored…!_

"Is there any that protest," the priest continued with a yawn. "To—"

"Me!" Naruto yelled suddenly. "I'm protestin'! I'm bored! Can't we go _home?_"

"Naruto," Senji hissed, slapping a hand over his mouth. "Be quiet!"

"Buu-eh-orr!" Naruto protested. "Sa-un-co!"

"I don't care whether Sasuke had to come or not," Senji hissed. "Be quiet!"

Naruto nodded, and Senji released him. He kicked at the ground petulantly, making tiny holes in the dark, rich earth with the toe of his shiny black shoe. It wasn't _his_ fault this was so boring.

Someone tapped his shoulder from behind, and Naruto glanced back to see Iruka-sensei there, smiling at him.

"Thanks for that," he whispered. "Now maybe they'll _finally _end this thing."

Naruto giggled, and whispered back: "He'll probably just drag it out _longer_. He's a mean old pig." Several people glanced at him, surprise on their faces, and Naruto realized he may have whispered louder than he thought. Iruka-sensei didn't mind, he just ruffled Naruto's hair and straightened up again to finish the rest of the service.

"May the deceased rest in fire," the priest said drily, and laid his flower down on the stone. Naruto cheered quietly. That meant the service was finally over and he could go home and get out of these itchy clothes and see Sasuke.

Senji guided him forward so he could lay his own wilted lily on the grave. Senji hadn't brought a flower, and out of the corner of his eye Naruto could have sworn that for just a moment Senji flipped the bird at the deceased name.

"I thought you said this guy was an old friend," Naruto said, as Senji led him away from the long line of people come to show respect. "But you seem happy he died."

"He was more like an old enemy," Senji said. "You want to go get some ramen?"

"Sure…" Naruto said, not willing to turn down free ramen. "You're in a _really_ good mood, huh, Senji?"

"Yes," Senji said. "I am in an _excellent_ mood."

"Because your enemy died?"

"Yes."

"But you still went to his funeral?"

Senji smiled. "That's the best part," he assured him.

"Huh," Naruto said. "How did the guy die?"

"I believe," Senji said carefully. "There was not enough left of him to determine cause of death."

Suspicion wiggled at the back of Naruto's brain and he frowned at Senji even as he set him on a stool and ordered the biggest bowl of miso ramen they had.

"You killed him, didn't you?" Naruto asked. He remembered now that there were already blood spots on Senji's clothes when he had found Naruto sneaking around at the compound That Night. This news did not disturb him half as much as he thought it should. In fact, he felt almost proud. From what the priest had been saying (at least the parts Naruto had been paying attention to) the man was strong, but his picture was frightening—all cold eyes and sharp angles. Still… "Why?"

Senji glanced at him, eyes unreadable. "Some people," he said carefully. "Kill others for something they call the 'Greater Good', and it's… wrong. I had to make sure that didn't happen."

Naruto felt another puzzle piece settle into place. "He did something bad in the future, huh?"

"Your leaps of intuition never fail to astound me," he said. "Where does it come from, I wonder?"

Naruto shrugged. "What's intuition?"

Senji sighed. "Never mind," he replied simply. "Ah. Here's the ramen."

Naruto cheered and tucked into his meal with gusto.

It was only later that he realized Senji never actually answered a single question.

oOo

It was quiet gathered around the dinner table that night, the _tink_ of chopsticks on porcelain loud in the silence. Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably, a need to talk bubbling in his throat- a need that was squashed every time Senji or Itachi traded another one of _those looks_. It was like a stink eye multiplied by a thousand.

"So…" Sasuke said, finding the courage to break the quiet. "How was your day?"

"He means what's up with the stink eyes," Naruto chirped, stabbing a piece of chicken.

"Everything is fine," Senji said. "Just a little misunderstanding."

"It's not a misunderstanding, it's a deliberate _understanding_," Itachi muttered, stuffing rice in his mouth.

Senji sent him another stink eye.

"What is?" Sasuke asked.

"Kinazawa-san neglected to inform me that I would be remaining in his house during my recovery."

"Smaller words," Naruto ordered, around a mouthful of orange chicken.

Itachi obliged. "Kinazawa-san didn't tell me I'd be living here until I got better."

"Well of course you are," Naruto snorted. "Sasuke is staying here."

Itachi paused, head cocked to the side. "I hadn't thought about it like that."

Senji threw down his chopsticks. "I told you you couldn't live alone with Sasuke!"

"_You_ said I was incapable of taking care of him."

"You are."

"Are not," Itachi sniffed.

"Yes, I believe so."

"I don't agree."

"You should agree."

"Well I don't."

"Should."

"Won't."

"Should."

"Won't."

Naruto traded a wicked look with Sasuke. "Oh my gosh kids!" Naruto yelled. "Can't you find a new way to argue?"

"Yeah!" Sasuke piped up. "You should be mature enough to settle this another way."

The adults stopped mid argument, blinking. Itachi turned back to his food, blushing, but Senji glared at them.

"You," he said, indicating the boys with his chopsticks. "You are turds."

"We," Naruto said happily. "We are funny."

He beamed until Senji had to settle into a grudging smile and restart the conversation. Sasuke gave him a high five over the table.

"Have they released anything regarding the unusual quiet from the compound and the mysterious lack of Uchiha wandering around the village?"

"Most of the Uchiha were under house arrest," Itachi explained. "All called back from the field. Hokage-sama is just taking that a step further and saying they're investigating a cause of distress within the walls. Danzo's death was a major setback in the cover up."

Senji smiled. "Indeed?"

Itachi gave him an incredulous look. "Are you always like this?"

"I believe so," Senji confirmed calmly, standing to get dessert. "Change the subject, it's upsetting Sasuke."

Sasuke was a little pale, and his hands were tight around his chopsticks. Naruto wondered what they had expected when talking about That so soon after That Night while being so… business like about it all.

"Sorry," Itachi apologized. "I wasn't thinking."

"I'm okay," Sasuke said quietly. Naruto didn't believe a moment of it, Sasuke would be having nightmares tonight.

"Oh…" Senji said, looking in the fridge. "Whoops."

Naruto felt dread squirm up his spine. "What?"

Senji's look was more solemn than the one he had worn at the funeral. "I forgot to make dessert."

_That_ had Itachi looking up in horror, and Naruto and Sasuke forgetting entirely about the conversation in favor of screaming: "Noooo! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? We're growing boys, Senji! We need sweet stuff!"

"The caloric value of a dessert is actually recommended for people who expel so much energy," Itachi said helpfully. "Technically."

Senji's lips twitched for just a moment in amusement before he forced himself blank. "I guess we'll just have to go out."

"Just for dessert?" Naruto asked in awe.

"Just for dessert."

"Awesome!" Naruto cheered. "Shoes! Shoes! Sasuke, help me find my shoes! We can pretend it's a conspiracy…"

Sasuke bounced out of his chair. "Okay. By the way, your shoes are a super-secret new weapon stolen by the evil organization of terror—or, TOOT."

"Uh… okay."

After shoes were found, and Naruto had finally gotten and laughed over the evil organization's name, (Toot! T, O, O, T spells toot!) they set off for dango and fruit juice. The dango was specifically reserved for Itachi and Naruto, and the fruit juice was absolutely off limits to anyone but Sasuke and Senji, and that was just the way everyone liked it.

Naruto licked the syrup from his treat off his sticky lips and smiled up at clear blue sky. The sun would be setting pretty soon, the sky just beginning to gray on the horizon, and a nice rush was spreading into his blood and making the walk back to the house more fun than it probably should have been. "Life is good," he announced. "That's what I think. Life is just good."

Sasuke smiled. "Yeah," he agreed. "It's pretty good."

"_Really_ good," Naruto corrected, stepping on his foot. Sasuke laughed and shoved him off, sending Naruto stumbling across the street.

He bounced off someone's legs and almost fell over, but Senji caught him. Naruto blinked, trying to clear the stars from his eyes.

"Oh!" A lady said. "Kinazawa-san. Hi."

Naruto looked up to see Doctor Kamiya and Senji staring at each other, standing close, and Naruto could feel Senji's heart beat pick up as he pressed fingers to Senji's wrist. Senji cleared his throat and leaned back, dragging Naruto with him.

"Doctor Kamiya," he said. "Sorry about that."

"Not a problem," she said with a smile. "Sorry to just bump and go, but I have to meet someone. I'll see you around?"

"Hn," Senji confirmed, and dragged Naruto back to Itachi and Sasuke.

"You liiiiike her," Naruto said happily. "You wanna daaaaate her. You wanna maaaarry her."

"No, I don't," Senji said calmly. "Itachi, are you alright to walk back? We didn't bring your chair…"

"Oh, right," Naruto said. "Change the subject!"

"I will, thank you."

"I'm not saying you're welcome."

"Hn."

oOo

It was the sadness in the dark eyes that had originally drawn him.

Naruto remembered those early days after he had first met Senji at the swing, when there had been ghosts clinging to the big man's shoulders and dead, festering things in his eyes. It had been what had made Naruto grab his hand the next time Senji had come to pick him up—hesitation and a little bit of fear lingering in the tense line of his shoulders, as if he thought Naruto wouldn't like him anymore.

Over the coming months, the sadness had slowly disappeared until Senji was able to smile without feeling guilty, and tease without being caught up in an invisible whirlwind with his ghosts and dead things.

After That Night, the sadness came back, and clung to Senji's shoulder in one long, smothering cloak. If it wasn't so obvious to Naruto that he was trying to smile just so that Sasuke and Itachi and he wouldn't worry, he would've yelled at him. Or something. As it was, Naruto had to think of something, and he could think of only one other person to go to.

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto tutted, "Are you working late _again?_"

Iruka-sensei looked up with a smile and a raised eyebrow. "Me, Naruto-kun? When do I ever work late?"

"Like, every night," Naruto said. "But that's not the point. I have a question for you," he informed the chuunin, sitting on the pile of paper Iruka had been grading to make sure his sensei's full attention was on him. "My Senji is sad."

"Mm-hmm," Iruka-sensei hummed, poking his stomach. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Don't poke me, Sensei," Naruto ordered, shoving his hand away. "Tell me how to fix it!"

Sensei poked him again, and Naruto squirmed. "What have you tried?" he asked.

"Smilin' and tellin' him I love him and givin' him hugs and—stop _poking_ me!"

"Don't sit on my paperwork," Iruka replied calmly, poking him again.

Naruto scowled. "You won't pay attention to me if I don't, and this is important! Really important, 'Ruka-sensei!"

Iruka was a professional teacher; he knew when he was being suckered and when his children were truly sincere. He stopped poking Naruto.

"Do you know why he's sad?" Iruka asked, steepling his fingers. Naruto knew that meant Sensei was serious.

"He…" Naruto paused, remembering his promise not to tell of That Night. "He had to do something bad," he said instead.

"Ah…" Iruka said slowly. "And this thing really upset him?"

Naruto nodded. "A lot."

"And you've already tried reminding him you love him and such?"

"Uh-huh!"

"And has that helped?"

"Sort of…"

"Explain that to me. What do you mean sort of?"

Naruto scowled, trying to put it into words. _Think, think, think._ "Well… he laughs sometimes, and it's real," he said finally.

"Mm," Iruka-sensei said. "And you can't think of _anything_ else that might help?"

"No," Naruto admitted. "Not a thing."

"There are a couple of things I might try," Iruka-sensei said carefully. "The first, is to do things to make him less stressed. Like getting your homework done, cleaning your room, not getting in fights, that sort of thing. Next, and you won't like this one you impatient little imp, is to give him time."

"Time," Naruto said. "He already has a watch, Sensei."

Sensei laughed. "Not that kind of time. Just don't worry about it for a couple of months, forget about it. Just… give him time."

Naruto stared at him in silent awe. "Sensei…" he breathed. "That's the worst advice ever!"

Sensei laughed hard, his funny little nose scar crinkling. "Sorry," he chuckled. "That's the best I've got."

Naruto groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Now what am I going to do?"

"Sensei," tutted a voice from the door: "Working late again?"

Naruto glanced at the tall man standing in the door with silver hair and only a single, lazy eye showing, the rest of his face obscured by a mask. _To cover up his wrinkles_, Naruto thought wisely. _No one with gray hair is young after all._

"Kakashi," Sensei greeted nervously. "What are you doing here? It's not Thursday."

The gray haired man, Kakashi, fixed his one black eye on Naruto for several long moments, evaluating and judging. Naruto stuck out his tongue at him.

"Good to know that our fine instructor at least knows the days of the week," Kakashi retorted mildly as he slouched into the room and leaned against the desk. "I'm escaping from Gai. What are you up to, Sensei?"

_Wow,_ Naruto thought, staring at the grandpa. _Big muscles, vest… I'll bet he was a jounin! That's so cool!_

"I'm gonna be a jounin!" Naruto said excitedly, poking the man's arm. The guy twitched. "You're a jounin, aren't you? I just know you are. I can tell from the vest and the stuff and this, and that, and _ooh_ that's a katana, huh? Senji has one of those you know, except his is better acourse. I mean, Senji's better at everything so don't take it the wrong way. You know, I'm gonna get to order all the jounin around when I'm Hokage, even the old ones! How old are you anyway?"

Naruto's hands had been tugging and pulling excitedly at Kakashi's belt, hair, sword, pouch, and vest throughout his commentary, and failed to notice the twitch that was forming somewhere around Kakashi's eyebrow.

"Twenty," Kakashi said shortly, shoving his hand away.

"Nuh-uh!" Naruto yelped. "You have gray hair! You're a grandpa!"

Iruka snorted, but hid his grin behind one of his hands when Kakashi glanced at him. "No I'm not kid," he said with plastic sweetness, "_So_ sorry to burst your bubble."

Naruto glared at him suspiciously, and then turned to Sensei. "Is he telling the truth?"

Iruka nodded quickly. "Sure is. Now Naruto-kun, you better run home. It's still summer vacation, you know."

Naruto sighed and hopped down from the desk. "But I haven't figured anything out yet!" he whined. "You were no help at all!"

Iruka-sensei frowned. "That was rude," he said.

"Sorry," Naruto apologized dismissively, already eyeing Kakashi again. "Hey, jounin man, do you know how to make people happy?"

One black eye crinkled up into a crescent. "Porn," Kakashi said frankly.

"Kakashi!" Iruka yelped, he waved his hands frantically at a wide-eyed Naruto. "Naruto, don't listen to a _word_ he says!"

"What's porn?" Naruto asked, listening to every word Kakashi said.

"Oh," Kakashi said evilly. "It's just—"

"NO!" Iruka yelped. "Not. A. _Word_. Kakashi. Take it back."

One black eye pouted and Kakshi's shoulders slumped. "But—"

"No buts."

It was, Naruto reflected, rather sad that even big, bad jounin had to listen to Sensei. On the upside, for once Naruto wasn't being the one that was getting told off.

"Neither of you are _any_ help," Naruto decided aloud. "Bye, bye then Iruka-sensei!"

"See you," Sensei said with a wave of his hand.

"Bye," Naruto added for Kakashi. Kakashi didn't reply, just raised his hand in a real laid back way.

Naruto thought that he looked pretty cool doing it, and tried to imitate. His hand just looked floppy—like a dead fish. "Why won't my hand do a laid-back-I'm-too-cool-for-this wave?" Naruto demanded.

"Because you are neither cool nor laid-back, Runt," Kakashi said. "Now listen to your Sensei, run home."

Naruto stomped his foot. "I'll get it! You'll see, and when I have it I'll come show it to you!"

"You do that, Kid."

"Harumph!" Naruto said, and walked out, shoes squeaking on the polished wood. He made sure to close the door very loudly, and then a second later put his ear against the thin door.

He had forgotten to ask how Sensei knew such a cool/mean jounin, but he was sure he could make up his oversight by just a little bit of eavesdropping.

"You're a lot like him, you know," Iruka-sensei was saying. "Your greetings to me were carbon copies of each other."

"Hn," Kakashi said. An 'hn' that was too much like Senji's for Naruto's comfort. He wondered if you had 'hn' classes when you were a jounin. "I didn't see the resemblance."

"Sure. Why are you here, Kakashi? I thought you had a mission until the end of the week."

"Did. I ended it early. Wanna go get some dinner? I'm starving."

Iruka-sensei sighed, and Naruto frowned. This conversation was dull. They weren't really _saying_ much of anything.

Naruto opened the door. "You guys are boring," he informed them. "Couldn't you talk about cool missions or dark pasts or nasty secrets?" They stared at him in mute shock, and he sighed. He would take that as a no. "Okay, fine…. Bye!" He yelped when Iruka, red-faced, lunged for him. He slammed the door again, and ran out of the school.

oOo

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No."

"You're not doing this right!" Naruto yelled. "When I change my pleases you're supposed to change your 'no' to things like absolutely not! And, just be silent, Naruto!"

Itachi sighed. "…No."

"Ugh," Naruto groaned, slithering off the couch and onto the floor. "Why?"

"I've already told you why," Itachi said, not looking up from his book. "Go play with Sasuke."

"Sasuke's training," Naruto said dismissively. "Tell me why!"

"Because," Itachi said patiently, "I feel it is not my place."

"You know," Naruto said, climbing back onto the couch and leaning on Itachi's shoulder. "If you start doing stuff when you feel like it's not your place it will start to feel like your place and then you won't feel so bad about it."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Your education is severely lacking in morals."

"Uh-huh," Naruto said blithely, not bothering to ask what that meant. "So, will you?"

"I do not like telling you no," Itachi said plaintively, hoping for mercy.

Naruto smiled. "Yes, I know. That is why I ask so many times."

Itachi stared at him in mute shock for a moment, and then tried to immerse himself in the reprieve of _Iliad._

Naruto was having absolutely none of it.

"I have money…" he said temptingly, shaking his frog shaped purse and piggybank in front of Itachi's pages.

"Quite a bit of it," Itachi agreed, pushing it aside. "But I'm still not going to do it."

Naruto sighed heavily, and curled up against Itachi's side. "A vacation is the only thing I can think of to make Senji happier," Naruto said. "If not that, then I would have to figure out what the mean jounin meant."

Naruto looked up through his lashes to see Itachi still completely ignoring him and sighed again. "I don't even know what porn is. Do you know what porn is?"

_That_ got a reaction out of the stoic teen, and Itachi turned red to the roots of his hair. "Where did you about that?"

"Some dude said it made people happy," Naruto said innocently. "Do you know what it is?"

"I- that is…" Itachi floundered. "It's just—I can't tell you."

"Oh," Naruto said, quite disappointed. "Adult stuff?"

"Very adult stuff."

Naruto screwed up his face and pushed out his lips in suspicion. Why did only adults get to do this stuff, anyway?

"You look like a constipated duck," Itachi informed him.

The look disappeared. "Have you ever _seen_ a constipated duck?" Naruto asked curiously.

"No."

"Then how come you can say that if you've never seen one? You're so _crazy_ sometimes 'Tachi-nii. I mean, you've never seen a constipated duck but you still think I look one even though I didn't. Ducks might not even _get_ constipated. It's probably really offensive to all duck-kind! Besides, if you were going to compare someone to a duck, even an imaginary constipated one, it should be Sasuke because his hair sticks up like a duck's butt feathers in the back, you know? He can also honk really loud when you wake him up which is also like a duck even though it isn't actually a honk and more like a 'Nawuwo oo duhmii goo awe…' which is actually something else but it doesn't _sound_ like it because he has his face buried in his pillow and, hey, are you listening to me?"

"No," Itachi admitted. "I'm afraid you lost me at the ducks might not get constipated."

Naruto stared at him. "I can't remember what I said all the way back then!" he wailed.

"It was five seconds ago."

"I can say a lot in five seconds!"

"You can say a _tremendous_ amount in five seconds," Itachi agreed grumpily, standing up. "I'm going to read in my room."

"No!" Naruto yelled, latching onto his ankles. "You haven't said yes yet!"

"And I'm not going to."

"But that isn't fair…!"

"Life," Itachi replied easily, freeing his ankle, and favoring his back, "is not fair."

"Why?" Naruto asked curiously. "Why can't it be fair?"

Itachi blinked. "I—well—it just isn't."

"But _why?_"

"Ask Senji," Itachi said, backing into his room. "He'll know."

Naruto followed him, stalking forward, curious as a cat. "How come you don't know? Sasuke says you know everything."

"I guess it's… Hey! What's that?" Itachi cried, pointing behind Naruto.

"What?" Naruto asked spinning around excitedly. Itachi took the opportunity to hide in his room and lock the door.

"My imagination," Itachi called. "Sorry."

Naruto shrugged, and tried Itachi's door, banging on it when he found it locked. "Itachi-nii! You open this door."

"I'm not your brother."

"But Itachi-niiiiiii…"

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked curiously, drawn to the sound of Naruto's banging.

"Itachi-nii won't talk to me," Naruto said, pouting. "The big jerk."

Sasuke cocked his head to the side. "There are crawl spaces in the ceiling," he pointed out. "And his window might be open."

"Which should we try first?"

"Oh, the crawl spaces, definitely. I think there are _spiders_ up there."

"Cool!"

Itachi took the time the boys were figuring out how to get into the attic to run for his sanity, their disappointed and dusty yells following him all the way.

oOo

After the mild success of breaking into Itachi's room, Naruto begged Sasuke to come back outside with him to help him forget the dark, small attic. Naruto sighed, lying under a tree next to Sasuke, letting the sun soak into his toes and send warm currents up to his knees.

Life was good with Sasuke around. Naruto had noticed that recently, his little mind put at ease by the constant companionship of someone his age to play with all the time. He liked laughing under the covers when Senji was asleep, and he liked playing ninja with him, and he liked that both of their favorite juices were apple. He didn't like watching TV with him, because he didn't talk, but the rest was pretty darn good.

"I think," Naruto said, "that we were meant to be brothers."

Sasuke nodded sleepily. "Probably."

"I think that Senji was meant to our dad."

"Uh-huh."

"And Itachi-nii our older brother."

"Mmm."

"And your hair pink."

"Yup."

"Great! I'll just go get some stuff then…"

"Wait!" Sasuke yelled, sitting straight up. "My hair is not meant to be pink!"

"I think you're right," Naruto said, looking at his head. "Orange, maybe?"

Sasuke glared at him. "If my hair was meant to be orange then that means that I'm not meant to be your brother."

Naruto gasped in outrage. "That makes no sense."

"_Yeah_ it does."

"_No_ it doesn't."

Sasuke tackled him, wrapping his arm around Naruto's throat and trapping him in a headlock. Naruto beat at his hand, yelling that it wasn't fair, he hadn't been ready, Sasuke was a cheater…

"I'm moving!" Sasuke yelled over him suddenly.

Naruto went silent.

Sasuke let him up and sat back under the tree, away from the heat of summer. Naruto just flopped over and stared at him.

"Huh?"

"I'm moving," Sasuke repeated quietly. "Itachi told me this morning. I guess we were never going to stay here long."

"You can stay as long as you want!" Naruto argued, feeling plans of having a big Christmas coming crashing down. "You promised!"

"Well plans change," Sasuke said. "And you promised too!"

"Well then…" Naruto thought hard, trying to come up with a solution. "Itachi can just leave and you can stay here!"

Sasuke frowned at him in disapproval. "I go where my brother goes."

"I thought I was your brother too."

"You are, but Itachi's my first brother."

Naruto snorted. "You're just being a chicken. I'll bet if you asked Itachi would stay."

"I did ask!" Sasuke snapped. "And I'm not a chicken!"

"Bawk, bawk, bawk," Naruto called, flapping his arms. "Bawk!"

Sasuke tried to tackle him again, but Naruto ran to the house, still clucking and flapping his arms. "Chicken! Chicken!"

"I am not a chicken!"

Naruto ran through the house and out the back door, into the little garden area he wasn't supposed to go in. He stood right inside, flapping his arms. Sasuke paused right at the edge of the tilled dirt, glaring at him.

"Chicken," Naruto taunted, and Sasuke flew at him.

Down through the tomatoes, the squash, and the lettuce they rolled, fighting and yelling the whole time. Naruto didn't even notice Senji until he had pulled them apart and konked their heads together.

Naruto saw stars, and gripped his head, moaning, swinging from one of Senji's hands as he was carried inside. Sasuke was in a similar state.

Senji dumped them on the couch, and pulled up a chair, anger evident in every line of his body.

"The garden," he began. "Is the only place on our property that is off limits. You both know that."

"But-" Naruto said, and Senji held up a hand.

"No, no talking right now," he said firmly. "It is the only place off limits, and you two have destroyed it."

"We didn't mean-" Sasuke said.

Senji stood up. "No talking."

"Yes, Sir," the boys mumbled.

"I'm taking away your allowance for a week," Senji began. "You will repair the garden. You will do double chores for a week. You will both have to read an extra ten pages every day."

Naruto wilted with every passing sentence, tears prickling at his eyes. This was the worst punishment he had ever had. He had known the garden was important, he had worked in it often enough to know that, and he had loved watching the plants grow up and get bigger and picking the things that grew. Garden vegetables were even easier to stomach than normal ones.

His face grew hot, and tears started sliding down his cheeks.

"How did this happen?" Senji asked, ignoring Naruto's crying.

"I told Naruto that Itachi said we were moving," Sasuke said, struggling to keep his own tears back. "And Naruto said I was a chicken for not saying something, and I chased him and he went into the garden. He was bawking and flapping his arms and I just… kind of…"

"Flew at me," Naruto sniffed.

"Yeah."

"So this all got started because Itachi said you were moving?" Senji clarified. The boys nodded. "Well you aren't, I'll take care of that. Now I want you two to apologize to each other."

Naruto looked away, feeling his lip swell from where Sasuke had punched him. He stubbornly avoided Senji's eyes.

"_Now_ boys," Senji warned. "Or I swear you will not watch TV for a week."

"Sorry," Naruto muttered.

"Yeah, sorry," Sasuke said.

Senji sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Come on," he said. "We'll have to go to market to get some food for tonight. Get your shoes on, both of you."

The boys did as they were bid, stuffing their feet into shoes and wiping away tears.

"I'm glad you're not moving," Naruto offered, trying to get the nasty taste of disappointment out of his mouth.

"Yeah," Sasuke agreed quietly. "Me too."

Naruto scratched at his cheek, the guilt slowly fading. "…Did you learn that new fire thingy?"

Sasuke relaxed. "Yeah. I could show you, if you want."

"Okay!"

The mood was killed when Senji entered the room, and with a face like a thundercloud showed them out the door.

oOo

_Thump!_

"Ouch!" Naruto yelped, falling hard on his rear. "My butt! My butt!"

"My knees! My knees!" Someone else yelled, and Naruto looked up to see a woman with red hair smiling down at him. "You were running pretty fast there, Naruto."

"Doctor-dono!" Naruto yelled happily, bounding back up, hurt butt forgotten. "It's you! Hi!" He gasped, catching sight of something horrific. "You cut your hair!"

Doctor Kamiya fingered her scraggly ponytail self consciously. "I kept getting blood in it," she said.

"Cool!" Naruto enthused appreciatively.

"I wish you didn't get hurt every time we see each other," Doctor-lady said. "What are you doing running around the market anyway?" Doctor-dono asked. "Where is your, um, Senji?"

"He's shoppin'" Naruto said, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I ditched him to dump paint on a jounin."

_And because he's still really mad at me,_ Naruto added silently.

"Hm," Doctor-dono said, glancing behind him. "Yes I see him. Nice job."

Naruto beamed.

The Jounin had deserved it, really. He had been talking bad about Senji, and a little can of paint could go a _very_ long way. He also figured getting revenge for Senji would make him less angry about the garden. "He looks pretty PO'd though… Quick, let's go this way." Lady said, taking him by the hand. "Would you mind walking back to the market with me then? I would love to talk with you a little more."

"Sure!" Naruto said happily. "I like you!"

"Well I like you too, Naruto-kun. How is Itachi-kun doing?"

"Oh he's fine," Naruto said. "According to Senji he is 'shaving under the authority of a parent figure he actually has to obey'. Or something."

Doctor-lady's smile widened. "I think you mean 'chafing' not 'shaving'," she said. "But I think I like the way you said it more."

Naruto giggled, blushing a little, his spirits lifting at the sight of the pretty doctor. She liked the way he said it _more_. "I say lots of stuff different," he said.

"That makes you unique," she said. "Where might your Senji be?"

Naruto shrugged, glancing around the bustling market. "Tomatoes maybe. I'd rather spend time with _you._"

"What a charmer you are," Lady said, tapping his nose with one long finger.

"I'm very charming," Naruto agreed. "When I want to be. Otherwise I'm a… a… hellion? I think that's what Itachi said…"

Lady laughed. "I was a hellion myself at your age."

"You can't be that much older than me," Naruto said hopefully.

Something sparkled in Lady's sky blue eyes. "Well, how old are you?"

"Se—eight." He _would_ be eight in only a few months after all.

"I'm twenty-five."

Naruto's shoulders drooped. _Much_ too old to marry. _She's as old as __**Senji**__…_

…

"You're the same age as Senji!" Naruto said excitedly. After all, if _he_ couldn't marry her, then maybe Senji could. Wasn't marriage supposed to make big people happier?

"Truly?" She said, looking shocked. "I thought he was much older!"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope. Hey," he said sneakily. "Aren't you married? You being so pretty and all…"

Lady shook her head, leading him to a bench. "I am not."

"Senji's not married either," Naruto said, blinking at her innocently. "Did you know your hair looks like it's on fire when the sun hits it?"

She laughed again, and picked him up, setting him on the bench. "Oh my but you are the cutest, you little flatterer you!"

Naruto beamed.

"Naruto!" Came a familiar roar, and he looked up to see an irate Senji stomping over to him, a harried looking Sasuke at his side. "You are in _so_ much trouble."

"Senji!" Naruto cried happily, ignoring the ominous crackle that meant Senji was shocking to the touch. "Hi, Senji!"

"You," Senji snarled, hauling him up by his pants. "Are a turd of the worst order."

Naruto kicked his legs futilely. "I didn't do nothin'!"

"Anything," Senji corrected automatically. "You ran off without telling me where you were going! You're in enough trouble as it is."

"What else was I supposed to do?" Naruto asked. "That mean Jounin was saying nasty stuff about you."

Senji growled, and noticed Lady for the first time. He sighed. "Doctor Kamiya."

Lady stood and brushed off her pants. "I'm flattered you remember me," she said politely. "Naruto was just showing me some of his handiwork."

"I'll just bet he was," Senji said venomously, dropping Naruto next to Sasuke. "Why can't you just stay out of trouble?"

Naruto shrugged, confused by that himself. "Can't you just forgive me?" he asked.

Senji sighed. "I could if you would just behave for five minutes," he said.

Naruto thought about it. He could probably do five minutes.

"I'll try," he promised angelically, and the doctor laughed.

"It'll get better," she promised, patting Senji's arm. Naruto watched carefully for any sign of sparks. Sasuke had told him that when people had love at first sight there were _always_ sparks and Sasuke seemed to know a lot about these things. He saw one, tiny blue spark for just a moment and gave a mental cheer.

"Hn," Senji said distractedly. "Thanks for finding him."

"No problem," she said. "You have quite the charmer on your hands here."

"I can honestly say I have never heard that one before," Senji replied, frowning at Naruto. Naruto was going to reply, but then remembered he had to be perfect, and just pouted at the ground instead.

"Better," Senji assured him. "Keep it up."

"Am I forgiven?" Sasuke asked curiously. "I didn't run off."

"You didn't avenge him either," Naruto said. "He has to be good too, doesn't he?"

"I've _already_ been good."

"You're both forgiven," Senji interrupted. "But I want you to keep up the good behavior."

Naruto pouted. "Fine."

"Fine," Sasuke agreed a minute later. "I guess it evens out."

Naruto kind of agreed, but he still thought the avenging was pretty important.

"Well," Doctor Kamiya said. "I suppose I'll be seeing you all then."

"Sure!" Naruto chirped. "I want to see you again _really_ soon."

"Aw!" Nurse-dono said, and swooped in to kiss him on the forehead. Naruto blushed bright as her hair as she pulled away.

_Wow._

"Bye!" she called, and then she was off, sashaying down the street. Naruto watched her go with wide eyes, one hand still pressed to his forehead.

Senji muttered something, grabbing both of the boy's hands and dragging them off. Sasuke kept looking after the doctor curiously, but Naruto barely paid attention, sighing: "_Wow._"

oOo

"Girls have cooties," Sasuke informed him later that night. "I'll bet she gave them to you."

"_She_ didn't have cooties," Naruto argued, bouncing slightly. "Angels never do."

"She can't have been an angel," Sasuke pointed out. "Angels are dead people that wear white and have wings."

Naruto sniffed. "Shows what you know. Sometimes, people can be angels too."

Sasuke swallowed. "Like, guardian angels?"

"Yep," Naruto said, climbing on top of Sasuke's bed. "But I think she was just a regular old earth angel and not a heaven angel or a guardian angel."

"You really think all those exist?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Heaven exists," Naruto pointed out. "Everybody says so."

"Everybody also says _Santa_ exists," Sasuke said. "And he doesn't."

"Yeah, well," Naruto said, realizing he was fighting a losing battle. "Where do you think dead people go then?"

"I think they stay to haunt you," Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

Naruto stared at him. "No they don't," he scoffed.

Sasuke shrugged. "Well where do you think my family went then?"

Naruto suddenly realized this may be very dangerous ground. "Hmm…" he said. "Well, _I_ still say they went to heaven and became angels but if they _did_ stay here they wouldn't haunt you."

"How would you know?" Sasuke snapped. "You don't know anything about it!"

Naruto whacked him with a pillow. "Do too! My mom and dad died, even though I didn't know them, and Iruka-sensei says they went to heaven and are watching over me and that when they're not in heaven they're here helping! Are you doubting Iruka-sensei?"

Sasuke frowned. "Iruka-sensei really said that?"

Naruto nodded seriously. "Every word. Besides," he said, crawling up next to Sasuke and settling down beside him, shoving the pillow behind his back. "If _I_ died, I wouldn't haunt you, 'cause I love you and junk."

Sasuke sniffed, but Naruto didn't look to see if he was crying. Sasuke didn't like other people to see him cry.

"Promise?" he asked, voice shaky.

Naruto grabbed his pinky. "Uh, _yeah._"

Sasuke shoved him onto the floor. "Go to bed," he ordered. "I'm tired."

"Meanie!" Naruto snapped, climbing under his sheets. "I can't believe you pushed me! You are so mean!"

"Are not," Sasuke said.

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

Senji poked his head in. "Good night boys."

"Night," they chorused, and immediately lapsed back into their argument.

oOo

The next morning Naruto woke up suddenly to the sound of pots and pans being banged around in the kitchen. He stumbled out, climbing up on his helper stool, and sat staring blearily at Senji. There were frown lines marring the usually pristine forehead, and Naruto felt the guilt of yesterdays disaster come crashing down on top of him.

"Morning Senji," Naruto said quietly.

"Good morning, Naruto," Senji said with a slight smile. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay…" Naruto said slowly. "You need some help?"

"I think I've got everything."

"Oh. Okay."

Senji sighed, and turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

"Are you still mad?" he asked, shamefaced and quiet. "About the garden? I know it was important…"

Senji licked his lips and pulled up a chair so that he was just a little bit below Naruto. Naruto swallowed hard.

"I forgive you," Senji assured him. "You made a mistake, and you're going to have to make up for it, but I forgive you."

"Really?" Naruto asked, heart lifting to bring a smile to his face.

Senji gave him a smile back. "Really."

"Really really?"

"Really really."

"Cool," Naruto said happily. "Thanks."

Senji nodded. "Will you get the eggs?"

Naruto bounced off, only too happy to help, and by the time he came back he had remembered his other object of concern. He made his smile as wide as it could go. "Senji…" Naruto wheedled. "Won't you _please_ marry the doctor-lady?"

"Doctor Kamiya?" Senji asked. "Absolutely not. Pass me the pepper."

Naruto passed him the salt. "Why?"

"_Pepper_, Naruto. Because I don't even know her, that's why."

"You could get to know her."

"Naruto," Senji said. "I know that whenever you find someone that likes you, you just automatically include them in your family."

This was true.

"But we can't add everyone. How about she's just a friend?"

"But there were _sparks!_" Naruto wailed. "Sparks!"

"I accidentally shocked her with my chakra," Senji said drily. "That doesn't count. Pepper."

Naruto grudgingly handed him the pepper. "Maybe Sasuke wants another Mommy too. Maybe then he won't leave with Itachi."

Senji paused mid-pepper shake. He set it down, and turned off the stove. "That's not how it works Naruto," he said gently, tilting Naruto's head so he could look in his eyes. "It's not that simple."

"Yes it _is,_" Naruto argued. "They have a family so they can be happy!"

Senji pressed his lips together. "Sometimes," he said, picking his words. "Sometimes you love someone so much that replacing them is impossible."

"Like if you died," Naruto surmised, and Senji jumped in surprise. "I couldn't replace you if you died."

"I guess so," Senji said. "I'm sure you could find someone in place of me."

"No," Naruto said. "I'm pretty sure I couldn't."

Senji smiled. "Thanks, Naruto. Now, no more talk of me marrying anyone. Go call Itachi and Sasuke to breakfast."

"I will call them to breakfast," Naruto allowed. "But this battle is far from over."

Senji's laugh followed him down the hall.

oOo

"Well," Senji said. "I suppose you get to start missions tomorrow?"

Itachi took a bite of his breakfast, nodding.

"Good."

"Yes."

"So…" Naruto said, struggling to break the frost silence. "What have you got going today, Itachi-nii?"

"Nothing but recovery," Itachi replied, stabbing the pickle on his plate with a force that had his chopstick cracking.

Naruto traded a look with Sasuke, who immediately tried his hand at comforting his brother. "Do you like those new books you're reading?"

"They're fine. Thanks."

Another look, and then Naruto gave up with the subtle and with a great sigh sank down into his chair and moaned. Senji reached over and poked him. "What's all this? Did you just remember you have an appointment with the Hokage today?"

Naruto sat up again in horror, banging his hand in the process. "I do?"

"Yes," Senji said. "I marked it on your calendar."

"Oh," Naruto said, remembering that now. He had been more interested in the new picture. "That's right. Can we go now?"

"I thought you didn't like talking to the Hokage."

"He's going to teach me how to look into the crystal ball today!" Naruto reminded him excitedly. "Hey, Sasuke, you wanna come?"

He could the excitement broiling in Sasuke's eyes, but then he glanced at Itachi and shook his head. "I want to be with Nii-san today."

_Sure_ he did.

"Okay," Naruto said. "Hey, Senji, can you do the trick where we don't have to walk and the leaves go bshawoowoowoowoowoo?" He flung his arms crazily around his head to show what he meant.

Senji was preoccupied, looking back and forth between a stoic Itachi and a fretfully comforting Sasuke. He blinked when Naruto called for him and asked, "What?"

"The trick where we don't have to walk," Naruto repeated, drawing out the words and doing the arm movement in slow motion. "Will you do it?"

"Yeah, sure," Senji said. "Go… make yourself look decent."

"Yeah," Naruto said, giving one last glance to the dark haired brothers. "Okay."

oOo

"One, two, three, four, five, six…" Naruto counted aloud, pointing at each lurking shadow on the street. "Six."

"Seven," Hokage-sama corrected, pointing to a smudge in the far curve of the crystal ball. "There are seven."

Naruto stared at it for quite a while, twisting his head this way and that, and then shook his head. "Shadow from ball," he decided. "Six."

"Who's teaching who to look into a crystal ball?"

"I'm teaching you."

"And how do you know how to read something like this, hmm? This was a gift from the Kami you know."

"I know, and since I was with the Kami longer than you and only left them a little while ago I think I know what they mean more than you do," Naruto said pompously, tapping the thin veil that separated him from the Konoha street in the bubble.

Hokage-sama shook his head. "You are an incorrigible child," he said. "I just had a grandson born that's much like you."

"What's incoorig—incurab—what you said mean?"

"Stubborn and unruly."

"I am not!" Naruto yelled, turning to glare at the old man. "I am Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to be Hokage someday! I am _not_ incor—incur—un_ruly_!"

Hokage-sama's eyes twinkled. "Alright," he said affectionately. "You aren't then. How are Itachi and Sasuke doing?"

Naruto scratched at a line in the table with his fingernail. "Fine."

"Uh-huh. Have there been any problems?"

"No."

"Are you lying?"

"Yes."

Old Man groaned and let his head fall back against the chair. "Must you always insist on making things so difficult?"

Naruto grinned. "_Yes…_"

"Naruto," Old Man said firmly. "No more jokes. How are they doing?"

"Hmm…" Naruto said looking down. Itachi was an almost silent presence in the house, rarely spending anytime with anyone but Sasuke and only going out when cajoling bordered on threats. Sasuke was almost the same, except he would occasionally, furtively, run out to play with Naruto and talk with Senji, looking at them both as if they should be fixing something. "They really haven't done anything _wrong._"

"Does anything they do bother you?"

"Well…" Naruto deliberated. "They're quiet and weird! Like—like—_wimps_ or somethin' and Itachi's all like 'We're only guests' and Sasuke is all like 'first and second family loyalty' and Senji is all 'no comment' and I'm going _crazy!_"

"I can tell," Old Man said mildly. "So Itachi and Sasuke are having problems with trying to belong to a new family so soon after their other family died? That's quite normal, Naruto-kun."

Naruto glared at him. "_Sasuke_ was not having trouble being my brother until _Itachi_ said something."

"Ah…" Hokage-sama said. "I see… Is it possible you're jealous of Sasuke and Itachi's relationship?"

"No," Naruto said blankly.

"Oh. Well then. Is it possible you feel Sasuke is betraying you in Itachi's favor?"

Naruto pursed his lips, trying to sort through all the feelings in him. There were lots of them, tangled together like balls of thread. "Maybe…"

"I'll tell you what, why don't you go outside and wait while I talk to Kinazawa-san about your little mishap and we'll try to work out a solution. Okay?"

If anyone could figure this out, it was Senji. "Okay," Naruto agreed, jumping down from the Old Man's lap. "Can I take the ball with me?"

"No."

"_Why…?_"

"_Go_, Naruto."

Naruto tried to look very pathetic as he left, dragging his feet and casting dismayed and hopeful glances back at the ball, but the door came too soon, and Hokage-sama had avoided the guilt by looking at paperwork. Naruto shut the door slowly, waving at a stolid Bear, who stood guard in the back of the room. The usually impassive ANBU raised a finger, warning to stay. Naruto did, very curious indeed. One, he was not supposed to listen to conversations between ANBU and Hokage, and, two, he had not thought Bear liked him that much.

"Hokage-sama," Bear said now. "There were six."

Enlightenment dawned on Naruto, and he swore Bear winked at him as he flew down the corridor, cackling and whooping for all the world to hear.

oOo

"What's got you so happy?" Senji asked, catching Naruto as he came scooting around the corner to the waiting room.

"There were _six_," Naruto cackled. "Six, six, _six._"

"Exciting," Senji deadpanned. "The Hokage is free then?"

Naruto was unable to answer, still laughing manically and trying to twist himself into some kind of interpretive dance to the number six while still in Senji's arms.

"Okay then," Senji said. "I'll just go talk with him for a few minutes then. Tiger will be here with you. _Don't. Leave. The room._"

Naruto blinked innocently at him, pausing in his mad twitching. "When have I ever left the room?"

Senji snorted, turning away, and Naruto was struck with a vague memory of escaping through a window and attaching feathers to his arms to see if he could fly. But he couldn't really remember, so he shrugged it off. "I'm sorry," Senji was saying, as Naruto tried to reminisce. "I have to go. It was nice seeing you again."

Naruto peeked around Senji's legs to see who he was talking to, and gasped in delight. "Doctor-dono!" He yelled. He ran to her. "Have you and my Senji been _talking?_" This was excellent news. The reason Senji wasn't marrying her was because he didn't know her, therefore if they got to know each other a little better…

He tried very hard not to cackle aloud, and mostly succeeded.

"Yes we have," she said, picking him up. "He's nice once you get past the prickles."

"Senji doesn't have any prickles," Naruto said seriously, surreptitiously trying to play with her hair.

Doctor-lady put on a serious face, but her eyes were still laughing. "Okay."

"Naruto, stop bothering Kamiya-dono," Senji ordered. "Go sit by Tiger-san."

Naruto glanced over at Tiger-san, standing next to a plastic chair at attention—stiff and boring. Naruto rolled his eyes back to Senji.

"Come _on._"

"I don't mind watching him for a little while," Doctor-dono said. "He's very good."

Senji hesitated.

"We won't leave the waiting room," Naruto added, but still Senji hesitated. Naruto pulled out his secret weapon. "_Please._"

Senji sighed. Naruto didn't use his secret weapon very often, simply because it didn't seem fair or ethical when he knew Senji would give in. "Fine," he said. "I'll only be a few minutes anyway."

"Okay!" Naruto said. "Bye then!"

Senji rolled his eyes, and did the Cool Jounin Wave. "Bye."

Naruto ordered he be set down and dragged Doctor-dono to a chair as soon as Senji rounded the corner and sat her down. He climbed up next to her and stared at her seriously.

"I have awful news," he said. "Senji…" he paused dramatically, and motioned for her to widen her eyes when she didn't react. She did so immediately, and Naruto continued. "Senji has said he won't marry you, but that he would be okay with _friends._"

Doctor-dono's chin trembled, and Naruto patted her hand sympathetically. "Don't cry," he said. "I know you'll never find anyone like Senji, but that doesn't mean you have to cry!"

She held up a finger and then turned around, burying her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. Naruto patted her back, shaking his head. _Poor thing_, he thought, remembering the phrase from a TV show. _Broke her heart, he did._

"Hmm," Doctor-dono hummed, turning back around. She wiped a few tears from her cheeks, a big smile on her face. "I'm okay, Naruto, really."

"If you have to cry again…"

"She wasn't crying," Tiger said suddenly, voice curt. "She was laughing."

"Was not!" Naruto argued immediately, partly because he thought the man was wrong, and partly because he liked arguing with every ANBU he saw. If he really annoyed them, they started twitching. "You obviously know _nothing_ about women."

Doctor-dono laughed so hard at that she almost fell out of her chair.

"Oh—oh my…" Doctor-dono laughed. "Naruto, you are…"

"Seven," Naruto offered. "According to Senji it explains my mental instabily."

That set Doctor-dono off again, and she slid right off her chair. Even Tiger-san chuckled.

Senji came in just then, looking frazzled. He stared for a moment, and then poked doctor-dono with the toe of his shoe. "Did you kill her?"

"The only thing she could die from," Naruto announced, shaking his head. "Is a broken heart."

This time, Tiger-san gave up and doubled over.

oOo

"Senji," Naruto said, clambering up on the desk the man had stuffed into a corner of his room and grabbing his face. "I need you."

Senji raised an eyebrow, a look that was so funny with his face mashed up between Naruto's hands that Naruto almost fell off the desk laughing. He recovered himself eventually, and made his order.

"Teach me the Cool Jounin Wave," Naruto said.

Senji looked back at his desk where he was sorting slips of paper. "What's that?"

"You know that… psh!" Naruto said, shaking his hand around.

"No, Naruto, I don't know," Senji said, holding one scrap up to the light. He frowned, put it down, and picked up another that looked the exact same to squint at.

"But you do it all the time!" Naruto begged, blocking the light with a hand. "It's that thing you do with like two fingers and you look super cool and I swore to a _jounin_ (a _jounin_ Senji, don't let me down here) that I would perfect it and show it to him. Teach me!"

Senji set aside his papers with a tight jaw. "Have you worked in the garden yet today?"

Naruto held up dusty hands for inspection, and gave him a pleading look. "I pulled ten weeds and turned on the hose."

Senji nodded. "Your room is clean."

"Yes."

"Really?"

"…_Please_ show me the wave!"

Senji laughed. "Okay. Show me again."

Naruto did, throwing his hand back. "Psh!" He added for flair.

"Hmm." Senji said. "Try it with two fingers and just hold them up to your shoulder, leaning your hand back about two inches."

Naruto tried.

He failed.

He pouted.

"Don't give up. Believe in yourself. Try curling your fingers, like you're holding a ball."

"Like this?"

"Like that."

He tried again, trying to channel 'cool'. "I _so_ got it! Believe it!"

"I do," Senji assured, already looking back at his papers.

Naruto slapped his shoulder. "Thanks!"

Senji sighed and tousled his hair. "Anytime, Naruto. Anytime."

oOo

"One Mississippi."

Naruto grunted, already feeling the strain in his arms. He contracted his stomach muscles tighter.

"Two Mississippi."

He carefully lifted one hand off the floor and reached up to his pocket, pulling out the kunai he had stuffed in only moments before.

"Three Mississippi."

His hands were a little slick, and a bead of sweat dropped off his nose as he took aim. His arm shook badly.

_Maybe doing it five times __**is**__ pushing it._

"Four Mississippi."

He flicked the kunai the same second his arm collapsed and Naruto fell out of his handstand with a yelp, landing hard on the floor. Sasuke ran to check his aim.

"You got it!" He announced happily. "You actually hit the target!"

Naruto gave a breathless cheer, tilting his head back as far as he could to see the target on the wall. The shiny kunai was pointed at an odd angle, and it was on the outer rim of the paper target Sasuke had tacked to the wall, but it had _hit_.

"Hail the conquering hero," Sasuke teased, plopping criss-cross applesauce next to him.

"NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA!" Naruto wailed. "NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-na… na… na… Hi, Senji."

Senji glanced at the slits in the walls from the other failed attempts at handstand kunai throwing and at the panting, sweaty Naruto on the floor, a guilty Sasuke sitting next to him. Naruto squirmed when Senji raised an eyebrow and fixed dark eyes on him.

"And whose idea was this?" He asked, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

"Mine," Sasuke said immediately, even though Naruto tried to stop him by whacking his thigh. "I saw Itachi doing it, and told Naruto, and he said he could do it and I said he couldn't and he said he could and I said prove it and he did." Sasuke gestured vaguely at the wall. "Although he missed once or twice."

"Or thrice," Senji said dryly. "Although I believe there are exactly four holes in the wall counting the one behind the target and, my, what ever happened to the window?"

Naruto and Sasuke bit their lips, glancing at each other guiltily. So one kunai had missed by a lot, at least he had hit the target!

"Uh," Naruto said, trying not to look at the shattered pane. "That _might_ have been me."

Senji groaned. "One missing kunai, ten dollars," he said. "One shattered window pane, 120 dollars."

Naruto winced.

Senji squatted in front of him. "Naruto accomplishing something that makes him smile: priceless."

Naruto laughed and sat up, swinging around to stare at an exasperated Senji. "What am I going to do with you boys?" he asked, ruffling their hair.

"You're not mad?" Sasuke gasped. "Why aren't you mad?"

Senji shrugged. "Because I'm going to punish you so severely I know you will never do it again after a _long talk_," he said, still smiling.

Naruto groaned and fell over again. "Man…" he whined, "I thought you were going to let us off the hook…"

Senji laughed. "Nope," he said. "You will both not have TV for the rest of the day and you will not have dessert tonight. Also," his voice raised, over riding their protests, "double chores for a week."

"_Again_?" Naruto asked. "We're still doing the ones from last time!"

"You know the rules, and the punishments that go with the rule," Senji reminded him. "Twenty weeds pulled…"

"Hall and bedroom cleaned once a day and help with dishes," Naruto chanted along with him. "I know."

"And if you didn't insist on getting into quite so much trouble…"

Sasuke grinned. "Then there would be no fun in life?"

"Exactly. There would be no—hey… wait a minute…"

Sasuke laughed, and Senji tickled him for a minute, before he decided Naruto was looking too complacent and attacked him too.

Naruto screeched, trying to get away, wriggling. "No! No! Senji…!" He saw Itachi lingering in the doorway, and in between gasping laughter yelped, "Itachi-nii! Heeeelllppp!"

To his surprise, Itachi did help, dragging Senji off and glaring at him. The fun was ruined. Naruto sat up confused, holding his throbbing sides.

"Back's all better I see," Senji said mildly, straightening his shirt.

"Can we talk?" Itachi hissed. "Privately."

"Sure," Senji said amiably. "Boys, why don't you practice that target trick outside for a little bit, or play something. This might be a while."

Naruto sighed. That meant it was more grown up talk they weren't allowed to hear. "Can we go in the attic?"

"It's pretty hot up there right now," Senji said. "I don't want you getting overheated. So the answer is no."

"But the floor is all sturdy…" Naruto whined.

"I said no, and I meant no. There are popsicles in the fridge. Stay."

"Fine," Naruto sighed. "You wanna popsicle, Sasuke?"

"Only if it's the red kind," Sasuke replied. "All the others are gross."

"The orange is yummy!"

"You would eat radioactive poison if it was orange."

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"_Well then you should have told me!"_

The boys froze halfway down the hall, shocked to hear Itachi yelling loud enough to drown them out. They glanced at each other, and then Naruto pointed up.

The attic _was_ hot, but it was worth it when they moved a panel of wood aside and squirmed down into the little space beneath, quietly moving aside the floor beneath them for a view of what was going on. The little portion of their ceiling they had cut out for just such a job lifted easily, and they pressed their eyes eagerly to the hole, grateful for the cool air on their faces.

They were just above the conflict, Senji and Itachi's dark heads bobbing and shaking as they yelled at each other.

"—drop him off on the side of the road with a nice family? Or were you just going to take him to Akatsuki with you?" Senji was saying, hands in tight fists. "Better yet, maybe you were just not going to take him at all!"

"I can take care of _my_ family just fine!" Itachi shouted back. "We're not some shunned rats to be taken off the street because we have nowhere else to go!"

Naruto flinched, pulling away slightly, hurt by Itachi's accusation. Here Naruto had thought of him as a brother, and all this time Itachi had thought of him as a rat?

"Don't you _dare_ say that about him!" Senji roared, coming to his defense. "He's sacrificed more than anyone else for the safety of the village!"

_Oh_, Naruto thought. _Maybe they are not talking about me after all_. The idea brought him great relief.

"That has nothing to do with any of this," Itachi interrupted. "The point is, I'm _not_ staying here and you _can't_ make me."

"Oh yes I can," Senji said, and Naruto wholeheartedly believed him, the tone sending chills up his small spine. "Sasuke needs you Itachi… He _loves_ you. Are you really just going to abandon him?"

"I'm _protecting_ him," Itachi hissed. "Madara-"

"I can handle Madara," Senji said.

"It's my responsibility."

"I don't think you're ready for it."

"I can succeed where no one else can."

"I know," Senji assured him. "I have a great deal of faith in your abilities."

"Then let me go!" Itachi begged wildly. "I have to get out of here! I can't-"

Itachi stopped and took a deep breath. "I _am_ leaving."

"Why do you have to go?" Senji asked more gently, seeking to understand.

"I just…" Itachi's head shook hard. "I just have to go."

"I understand where you're coming from," Senji said. "I've been through this. I can understand that you-"

"You don't understand!" Itachi yelled. "I'm the one that was supposed to kill my family, not you."

"I _do_ understand-"

"Alright, fine, maybe you do. You're the one that killed them all."

For a moment, there was a complete silence. So absolute, Naruto could hear Sasuke's heart pounding in his chest. Naruto could tell that Itachi had realized he had crossed the line, because he took a step back, posture changing from aggressive to unsure. Then, there was a crackle. A crackle that grew and grew until around Senji there was a storm of such anger that the very air trembled—all of the frustrations, all the anger and guilt repressed and pushed down from the last week came out in a torrent of blind, icy rage. And it all came out on Itachi.

The _crunch _as Itachi was kicked into the wall made Naruto wince, and he hastily put the piece of ceiling back and dragged Sasuke to the stairs. "We gotta stop them!" he cried, feeling the house shake as something hit a wall.

Sasuke nodded, eyes still glazed with surprise and movements clumsy. Naruto all but shoved him out of the attic and didn't bother closing it back up as they ran back to their room. Naruto flung the door open in time, to see Itachi pinned against the wall with Senji's lips pulled back from his teeth in a ferocious snarl. Itachi had a white knuckled hand wrapped around his wrist, face slowly turning blue. Senji had blood running from the corner of his mouth, but Itachi's eyes were both just big bruises and one of his fingers was twisted strangely.

Naruto gasped in disbelief and horror, and Senji turned to look at him.

His eyes were bright red, and stars black as pitch decorated them, spinning slowly. Naruto gulped, drawn into those eyes and he saw the panic and sadness that seized them at being found out. For one, blissful moment staring into Senji's eyes, Naruto forgot that anything bad had just happened. The attic door was not down, Itachi and Senji weren't fighting, Senji was in no way scary and was still completely, achingly trustworthy. A stalwart, patient adult that never got so angry to hit someone.

And then Senji blinked, and the illusion vanished. Naruto took a step back, scared, and the pain in Senji's face and eyes intensified enough to blind him, his Sharingan fading away. "Naruto-"

"Stop it!" Sasuke shrieked suddenly, launching himself at Senji, clawing at his arms and kicking at his legs. "Stop it! You're hurting him!"

Senji dropped Itachi as if burned, and the teen gulped greedy lungfuls of air, eyes wide and a little bloodshot.

Sasuke was still kicking at Senji, but the big man hardly seemed to notice. He stood with his eyes closed, as if preparing for something, and when he opened them there was nothing in them but black ice. No warmth, no laughter, no _Senji._

"Come on," he said, pushing Sasuke aside and lifting Itachi into his arms. "We need to get him to the hospital."

Naruto stood on trembling knees, trying to get his legs to unlock. His limbs seemed filled with stone.

"Come on," Senji repeated again, tiredly. "Please."

Naruto came, stepping into the back of the procession, and the wind kicked up that would take them to Konoha proper in a flash.

This time, Naruto didn't bother waving his arms around.

oOo

The next day, the news of the Uchiha massacre was released.

Naruto read the flier with Sasuke's help, puzzling out the bigger words together.

"Un… K…"

"I think the K is silent."

"Oh. Unknown… unknown ass…"

"…sail…"

"…ant."

"Assailant."

"What's an assailant?"

"I think it's somebody who kills people for money."

"Oh. Okay. Unknown assailant… murders… Uchiha…and…Danzo… I can't read his name."

"Me neither."

"Danzo something… last week. Any news rep—repor—"

"Reported."

"Reported to ANBU officers. Mem…"

"Memorial service planned."

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, the bleached flyer still clutched in his hands. "So they're saying they don't know whodunnit?"

Sasuke swung his feet, legs dangling off the tall plastic chair. "Yup." He popped his P at the end.

Naruto looked back down at the flier. "Oh."

"Yup." Another popped P.

Naruto chewed on his lip. "Senji didn't…" he trailed off, unsure of what he meant to say.

Sasuke shrugged. "He hurt him."

Naruto knew that in Sasuke's book, hurting a family member was enough to hate the person who did the hurting for the rest of their (probably short) natural life.

Naruto looked away, not knowing how to answer. "He wouldn't hurt us," he said quietly.

Sasuke shrugged again and it was quiet for a while. Naruto could hear the clock ticking in the next room and the low buzz of electricity working in the light. There were no other noises besides their breathing.

_Tick-tock._

_U-haa…_

_Bzz…_

_Tick-tock._

_U-haa…_

_Bzz…_

"My dad hit Itachi once," Sasuke said suddenly. "When he was really mad. I asked why later and Itachi said he really didn't have a reason. He never did it again though."

Naruto imagined there was a point to the story, so he kept quiet.

"I don't think Senji hit him just because he was mad," he added. "I think, maybe, it was to teach him something."

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed, instantly loving that theory. He couldn't fathom Senji being a mean, hateful person. Not _Senji. _"That must be it!"

"But it doesn't explain what lesson he was trying to teach."

"Sometimes the only way to make someone understand is to show them that their current goal is impossible," Senji said, leaning over the backs of their chairs. The boys both screamed, jumping a foot in their chairs. "If I can beat him, Madara will eat him alive."

"Senji!" Naruto gasped. "I did not hear you!"

Senji raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

Naruto blinked. "Well, you scared me."

"Yes."

"_Fine._ Be that way."

"How's Nii-san?" Sasuke interrupted, glaring up at Senji.

Senji hummed and dropped into a chair opposite the boys. "He's fine. Another hour and he'll be good to go. All he has is a couple of black eyes and a cracked rib."

"Good," Sasuke said. "He looked hurt worse than that," he added, twisting the knife a little deeper.

"Shock," Senji said calmly. "I showed him something he didn't like."

An awkward silence fell and stifled Naruto, oppressing and rough. "I'm sure he'll be fine," Naruto said, breaking the quiet. "I mean, he's like super tough and all. I once saw him take a kunai and not even flinch! I mean, immediately, right after that his hand started spurting blood in these big red _spurt, spurt, spurt_s and I could have sworn he said a naughty word but I couldn't really tell if he did it but if he said what I think he said then it was a _really_ bad word and I know you told me I'm not supposed to say bad words Senji so I don't. I mean, I don't really see the point since I hear them all the time and see 'em all the time and stuff. Hey, did you know that I… why are guys givin' me such funny looks?"

Senji and Sasuke both had identical expressions of 'He's nutters. He's gone completely 'round the bend and stopped for an extended stay in Loony World.'

"Can't you ever just be quiet?" Sasuke asked. "This is serious!"

"I don't like quiet," Naruto admitted. "Especially not that one. That quiet was bad—like rough and all gravity-like and heavy and stuff and, I don't know, too _quiet._ Don't you ever have that feeling? Like it's trying to _eat_ you even though you know quiet can't actually eat you and… you're giving me funny looks _again._"

"Naruto…" Senji said, his head cocked to the side. "You are…"

_Clack-clack-clack-clack—_

All three heads whipped toward the door, and a moment later a young chuunin was bursting through the double doors, hair escaping her bun. She was favoring her right ankle, possibly after twisting it in her incredibly tall pink heels.

"Kinazawa Senji-san?" The girl asked, panting slightly.

Senji stood. "Yes?"

"Um," She chewed on her perfectly glossed lower lip and fiddled with her fingers. "There's been a… mishap with the, um, patient… You know him, right? I…"

Senji's lips had been getting thinner and thinner and finally he lost his patience and snapped: "Chuunin, report!"

"Sir!" She cried, snapping to attention. "Uchiha Itachi has taken the absence of strong ninja in his medical room to escape and flee the village."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "He what?"

The Chuunin looked to him. "Uchiha Itachi," she explained.

"He's gone."

oOo

Naruto woke up to a bright light being pounded into his eyes- the blood in his eyelids, shining. He groaned and rolled over, burying his head into warm cotton sheets. Bird song filtered through the thick glass window, much too high and much too whistling, and he pulled the pillow over his head with a heartbroken groan.

It was much too early for morning.

"Naruto."

Naruto twitched, but otherwise didn't acknowledge Sasuke's voice. His eyelids were heavy and his limbs felt like lead jelly.

Much, much too early.

"Hey," Sasuke whispered. "You awake?"

_I don't wanna be…_

"Not yet," Naruto muttered, his voice mushy against the mattress. "Too early…"

Sasuke shifted next to him and a draft of cold air hit his arm—ice on his warm skin. He whimpered at his friend's cruelty and curled into the tightest ball he could.

"It's eight o' clock," Sasuke informed him. "That's not early."

_Eurgh…_

"Eurgh…" Naruto replied, shoving the pillow off his head and forcing his eyes open. He rubbed sand out of one eye with a heavy fist.

Sasuke was watching him, head cocked to one side and resting on his propped up hand. "Goo' morning."

"Mornin'," Naruto yawned. "'M tired…"

"I'm not," Sasuke said quietly. "I'm worried about Itachi-nii and Senji-san."

Legitimate concerns, which had Naruto sitting straight up in bed, eyes wide and hair puffing wildly; he started bouncing.

"You're right!" he said. "Where are they? Have you forgiven Senji yet? Is Itachi okay? Do you know why he left?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat up, hugging the covers close. "Itachi-nii is missing and Senji-san went after him with Kakashi-san. We're at Iruka-sensei's. I've _kind of_ forgiven Senji. He apologized last night, and obviously felt really bad about it so… I don't anything about Nii-san."

Naruto blinked, trying to remember. It was like riding in Senji's arms when he was running, catching brief flashes of perfect standstills and the rest of the time just a blur of color and noise. He remembered sitting on Sasuke's head when he wouldn't stop screaming about going after Itachi himself, the dirty linoleum of the hospital floor leaving smudges on Naruto's knees and Sasuke's cheeks and a distracted Senji pacing the floor. He remembered Iruka-sensei's door, the shiny gold numbers and letters decorating it glinting in the moonlight. 240A.

Kakashi, crouching on the windowsill and the flap of Senji's white shirt as he followed the jounin outside and into the dark night; the cheerios spilled on the floor from his midnight snack, four little golden O's tiny specks on the big tan carpet. He could see a star twinkling outside the window of the bedroom.

He shook his head.

"It's kind of blurry," Naruto admitted.

Sasuke nodded, not particularly surprised, but the movement was swallowed in the gigantic, faded yellow t-shirt he was wearing. It had a big happy face on it.

Naruto snorted. Smiling Sasuke usually was not. He looked down at his own over-sized shirt and grinned. It was a plain old bright green, but there was the leaf symbol stitched into the bottom hem. He played with it, fingers running over the tiny bumps of stitches as Sasuke talked.

"…We need a plan of action," he was saying. "I want to help Senji-san bring back Itachi-nii, don't you? Of course you do. So we're going to have to trick Iruka-sensei and then sneak out."

"Where'd we get these shirts?" Naruto asked, not paying a whit of attention.

Sasuke scowled. Whether it was from Naruto acting like cotton was stuffed in his ears or the reminder of what he was wearing Naruto didn't know. Probably both. "They're Iruka-sensei's. We don't have any pajamas with us so we had to wear these."

"Are we going to our house to get clothes soon?"

"Probably."

"Our house on the edge of the village with a bunch of traps in it?"

"…I knew I kept you around for a reason."

oOo

Escaping Iruka-sensei was ridiculously simple.

Naruto was convinced the ANBU pajamas were the real key to their success, even if Sasuke didn't agree.

Sasuke was stupid anyway.

The plan had been simple, devious, and with a flair of drama that Naruto had especially enjoyed. They had begged Iruka-sensei to take them home to get clothes and other 'necessities' like toothbrushes. (Toothbrushes. A necessity. Hah.) As they gathered their stuff, Naruto let out a few pitiful coughs and managed to get Iruka-sensei to go and get him a glass of water. In the few, painful seconds the chuunin's back had been turned Sasuke tackled him at the knees and Naruto jumped on his back.

Iruka-sensei had been mildly upset.

Mildly upset enough to chase them, screaming, right into Senji's room.

After Iruka-sensei had been attached to the ceiling, it was actually really easy to make sure he didn't move.

"How long do you think it will take Iruka-sensei to get out?" Sasuke puffed as they ran into the backyard and under the shade of thick trees. Naruto's home was on the extreme right of Konoha, built on the hill the Hokage monument blended into and hidden in the trees. The wall surrounding Konoha was only three miles from the backyard and on good days you could see its shadow dusting the trees.

"A while," Naruto replied smugly. "It helped that we put that sticky ninja glue all over his hands."

"And feet."

"And mouth."

"…You don't think he'll give us extra homework for this, do you?"

Naruto thought about that for a minute, "Well… he's supposta be makin' us into good ninja right? That practically _was_ extra homework."

Sasuke gave him The Look, the one where his chin tilted down and his eyebrows tilted up and somewhere between his eyelashes and his mouth was a clear _Are you kidding me?_

"Trust me," Naruto said. "I've been getting out of trouble for _years._"

"No, you've been getting _in_ trouble for years."

"Either way, I have a lot of experience."

Sasuke looked like he wanted to bang his head against a tree, and Naruto snickered.

…and then wondered if that tall ash on the right would knock him unconscious or not.

The wall stretched out in front of them, impenetrable and _huge_ and an obstacle that, Naruto admitted, may be too large for his small legs. The wall ran up and up and up for what Naruto guessed was forty feet or more, seamless and smooth as a baby's skin, and stretched to the sides farther than either of the boys could see. It went all the way around Konoha, Naruto knew, and Konoha was a very big place.

A _very_ big place.

Sasuke groaned and sat down. "How are we ever going to get over _that?_"

Naruto sunk down next to him. "Maybe," he said. "We should have planned a little farther than just taking Iruka-sensei out."

"Yeah, but that was your plan so I didn't think it would actually _work._"

"Hey!"

There was a brief scuffle, which Sasuke won, (as always, he gloated, and Naruto punched him again) and then they both just lied in the grass and stared at the wall.

Naruto swore he saw clouds go _through_ the wall instead of over it, tall as it was. The clouds were pretty though. That one was like a turtle, and that one was half-blocked by the braches of a tree so it was like a bunny, but all chopped into pieces. And that one there looked like a dog…

"We can't climb it," Sasuke said, suddenly, breaking the quiet.

"We can't go under it," Naruto said.

"Or around."

"Or through."

"Between."

"Over."

Sasuke sat up. "Yes we can," he said in calculating surprise. "We can climb a tree, jump on top of the wall…"

"And jump to a tree on the other side!" Naruto said excitedly. "Which tree should we climb?"

"Maybe we should plan more first," Sasuke said. "Like what we'll do after we get over the wall. We don't even know which direction they went."

"Use your Uchiha senses," Naruto offered, trying to decide which tree would be best.

Sasuke kicked him. "Dummy," he scoffed as Naruto howled, "I don't _have_ Uchiha senses and we don't exactly have radioactive spiders crawling around to make some. Maybe we should just go home."

"So we can get yelled at by Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked. "No way. This," he climbed up on a stump, "is our moment!"

Sasuke crossed his arms. "Whatever."

"No, really," Naruto insisted, putting his hands on his hips in the best heroic pose he could pull off. "Don't you remember what you said the morning you came to visit me after your mom said you couldn't see me anymore? We're going to be best friends forever! And best friends don't let other best friends give up when that best friend is being a pansy about getting his brother back! We are going to get over this wall, find out where they went, and go help!"

He straightened his shoulders a little more when Sasuke didn't seem overly impressed.

"How?" Sasuke asked plaintively.

"We'll… figure it out as we go along!" Naruto said. "It worked with Iruka-sensei, it worked with this wall, it will work with finding them and helping! Now help me find a tree to climb."

Sasuke didn't reply with much enthusiasm, but he did help Naruto find a tree, that nice ash Naruto had spotted earlier, and give him a leg up.

Climbing a tree as big as the wall was harder than Naruto thought it would be, but he only stepped on Sasuke's head once on the way up (and almost got his foot bit off for the trouble).

The jump to the wall was also a _bit_ larger than anticipated.

"Hmm," Naruto said, refusing to lose hope even looking at the ten foot leap and sixty foot drop. "Hmm."

"Now what?" Sasuke asked, nose in the air.

"_Now_, Snooty," Naruto said, looking around wildly, clinging on for dear life as the branches swayed in the breeze. "Now… we swing."

"Sing?" Sasuke asked.

"No! Swing!" Naruto yelled, moving back and forth. "We'll swing the tree closer and then jump off!"

"That's crazy!" Sasuke wailed in terror.

"Just don't look down!" Naruto shouted back happily, swaying as manically as possible.

Sasuke looked down, turned green, and looked back up. "We're gonna die," he said, and helped in swaying the tree.

The whole tree creaked as it bent closer to the wall, and then away. Naruto clung to the branches, dizzy and almost scared enough to pee his pants. Sasuke was right, this _was_ crazy.

"H-Have to jump soon!" Naruto called.

"Right," Sasuke chirped, voice higher-pitched than normal.

"Really soon!"

"Yup!"

The wall swayed close again, and Naruto tried to decide when would be the best time to jump. Not now… not now…

…and the tree swayed back again.

_Courage,_ a voice whispered in his mind. _Is not the absence of fear…_

The tree swayed forward.

_But taking action in spite of it_.

"On three!" Naruto yelled, forcing his legs to straighten. Sasuke shot him a terrified look, but stood up.

"One!"

The tree fell back.

"Two!" Sasuke chimed in.

Sprang forward.

"Three!"

They jumped and the wall came fast and hard and Naruto slammed right on top, feet and hands scrabbling to hold on to something, sure he was going to fall down between that dark crack between tree and wall any moment now…

After he realized he wasn't falling, he cautiously opened his eyes…

…and met Sasuke's.

They blinked.

Blinked again.

Then Naruto grinned.

Sasuke smiled.

And they laughed until their sides hurt.

oOo

"It is much easier going down," Naruto observed, "than up."

"And across," Sasuke agreed. "I'm glad I brought the rope."

"And you thought it would be _hard_ getting down."

"I thought," Sasuke muttered. "That you would learn to shut up."

"You would learn to shut up mehmehmehmehmehmeh," Naruto imitated meanly. "Jerk."

"Turd."

"Bully."

"Meat-head."

Naruto had to stop arguing then because he had come to the tricky part of coming down—the five foot drop to the ground, and five feet seemed so much larger when one was dangling from the end of a rope.

"I roll when I hit the ground right?" Naruto asked nervously, wavering in the air as the tree the rope was attached to moved a little.

"Yup," Sasuke said.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely."

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, and let go.

He hit the ground with a muffled _thump_ and rolled immediately. He heard another _thump_ as Sasuke landed a moment later.

"I'm going to revise," he said. "You roll _as_ you hit the ground. Not immediately after."

Naruto's eyes snapped open. "Did I break my legs?" he yelled, jumping up.

"No, Naruto," Sasuke said, with all the logic and gravity only a seven year old can truly produce. "You can't stand when your legs are broken."

"…Right," Naruto agreed. "I knew that."

Sasuke nodded tiredly. "Now what?"

Naruto bit his lip. It was almost—he checked the sun—eleven o' clock.

"Lunch," he ordered simply.

Sasuke had to agree with the logic.

After a lunch of three peanut-butter and grape jelly sandwiches (that were not as good as the ones Senji made) an apple, and a big bottle of water the boys were ready to go. Where they were going to go still stood in dispute.

"I thought you said we would know!"

"We _will_ know."

"When? By the time they get back?"

"We'll just have to figure it out."

Sasuke stared at him. "I'm going to kill you."

Naruto sniffed. "And then where would you be? Come on, can't you remember anything?"

Sasuke frowned. "I've been trying."

Naruto licked his lips, smiling when he found a trace of grape jelly at the corner of his mouth. Where would Itachi go? To another ninja village? The capital? How would he get there? A boat? A road…? Senji had said something about a road. He had also talked about U… O… A… A… A… Akatsuki! Akatsuki!

"Akatsuki!" Naruto shouted. "Senji said something about Itachi going to Akatsuki!"

Sasuke snapped his fingers. "East! He once said that the clouds were east!"

Naruto snapped his fingers too, just because it looked cool. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Akatsuki means red cloud. Duh. Clouds are east… their name means cloud… are you with me?"

"East it is!" Naruto yelled, jumping to his feet. "Which way?"

Sasuke sighed, and pointed.

oOo

"I'm tired…"

"My feet hurt…"

"I'm hungry…"

"Aren't we there yet?"

"How much _longer_ is it, do you think?"

"We've already gone a hundred-jillion miles…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm tired…"

"Oi!" Someone barked. "What are you two brats doing out here?"

Naruto blinked blearily, rubbed one eye, and leaned more heavily on Sasuke's shoulder. "Where are you?"

Sasuke screeched and jumped away, and Naruto went with him for a moment before Sasuke let go of his shoulder and Naruto let go of his and two butts landed in the dirt.

"Something _bit_ me," Sasuke defended at Naruto's hurt look.

_That is not a good reason to drop me. No it is not._

"Are you two brats ready to answer my questions yet?"

Naruto squinted, nose crinkling, trying to see who it was that was speaking. The sun was setting, pink and orange burning up the atmosphere, and the shadows under the trees were getting deeper by the minute.

"Right here, Dummy."

_It's a dog._

"You're a dog," Naruto said, staring at the jowly little pup frowning at him, a blue bandanna tied around his ears.

The dog sighed, looking very put upon indeed, and sat. "Yes. I am."

"You bit me!" Sasuke said next.

"Conjecture," the dog huffed. "You have no evidence."

"_You_ won't have any evidence I _strangled_ you when I'm done either."

"No!" Naruto yelled. "It's a _talking dog!_"

"It bit me," Sasuke snapped. "I'm not inclined to be lenient."

"But—but—" Naruto stuttered. "But it _talks_!"

"I am not an 'it' as you so uncharitably say," the dog corrected, tiny brown ears wobbling. "My name is Pakkun."

"I'm Naruto," Naruto said, jabbing his thumb at his chest. "And I'm gonna be Hokage someday!"

Pakkun looked to Sasuke. "Does he always introduce himself like that?"

"Always," Sasuke sighed.

"And that's Sasuke," Naruto continued, ignoring them. "He's going to be my ANBU captain!"

"And he always introduces you that way?"

"Always."

Pakkun sighed. "Look, I don't have time for this. What are you kids doing out here?"

"We're going to find Senji and help him bring Itachi back to the village," Naruto said with bald-faced honesty.

Sasuke groaned at his stupidity.

"Really?" Pakkun drawled. "Kinazawa Senji?"

"That's the man!"

"Yeah…" Pakkun drawled. "He's traveling with Kakashi, but they're miles ahead of you."

"Hah!" Naruto crowed, poking Sasuke. "I _told_ you it would work out! Where are they?"

"Can't tell you that, Kid," Pakkun sighed, resting his head on his paws. "Breach of my contract, you know."

"Nope. No idea. Tell me."

"I'm bound to do as Kakashi tells me."

"Oh. What a jerk. Him, not you."

"Agreed."

"Can't you go back to him?" Sasuke asked. "Tell him where we are. We're lost, and I don't think we can back to Konoha without help."

Naruto was about to protest as they had left marks on the trees specifically so that they wouldn't get lost, but Sasuke ground the heel of his hand into Naruto's with a smile.

Pakkun tapped a paw against his forehead. "I could do that," he said. "Stay here, I'll be back soon."

Sasuke glanced at Naruto, and winked.

oOo

"Oh no," Naruto said, scratching the giant dogs ears. "You shouldn't take us to _Konoha_."

The big, scary looking dog Kakashi had sent grumbled and muttered something about orders that trailed off into a whine when Naruto stopped scratching as hard. Sasuke was busy scratching the drooling jowls, his face twisted into a smile of concealed disgust.

"We've got really important news for them from Konoha," Sasuke added to the lie, discreetly wiping saliva off his hands. "I'll bet Kakashi would be really pleased if you took us to him. He might even give you a treat."

"Treat!" The dog, known as Fickle to his friends, barked in delight. "I love treats!"

"I have treats," Naruto declared proudly, and Fickle wagged his tail so hard Naruto almost fell off his big back. "With Senji!" he added. "I can get some for you."

Now, it wasn't that Fickle was of the particularly stupid variety of summons. Sure, his brawn outweighed his brain, but usually he could tell when he was being played. However, he was still a dog in brain, heart, and, most importantly, stomach, so he nodded happily at every suggestion. His mind was filled with images of treats and Master patting him on the head.

Naruto grinned maniacally at Sasuke and helped him onto Fickle's back. Seconds later, they raced off into the shadows of a half-moon night.

oOo

It was a terrifying, exhilarating ride on the dog's back. Naruto could see only a few feet ahead and sometimes giant trees with striking branches appeared out of nowhere. It was bumpy, and whenever Fickle had to jump over something all he could do was cling to the roll of fur and fat at the dog's neck and pray he didn't fall off. Sasuke was in an even worse position as the only thing _he_ had to hold onto was a bouncing, screaming Naruto. Sasuke kept his eyes shut most of the ride.

But Naruto kept his eyes open. Wide open. He took in every blurry shadow and stomach-churning drop— every tree, every bush, every twig that snapped across his cheeks, every patch of stars in the cloud-laden sky. All the sounds beat on his ears— heavy paws on the ground, snapping twigs, Sasuke's occasional whimper, his own screams, and Fickle's heavy breathing. Smells of sweating dog, damp earth, and sharp forest were like a second sense. He knew how close the trees were from the rich heaviness of bark and what direction they were going from the spicy scent of pine.

Naruto's every sense had come alive, and he reveled in it. He let out a whoop as they jumped a log and laughed when they went through a stream. His thoughts were a buzz.

_It smells so good and I can smell so much and—wow!—that almost killed me! Branch, grass, tiny purple flower, look at that, and smell __**that**__ and…_

Both of the boys were suddenly knocked off Fickle's back with identical screams, hitting the ground hard. "Ouch!" Naruto howled. "Oooouuuccchhh!"

A lanky form loomed over them, one eye glowering. He slapped Naruto's face lightly.

"Hmm," he said. "Taken care of is it? Got a bit lost did you?"

"Oh yes," Naruto said, trying to remember the lie. "We got very lost. That's why we came here."

Kakashi sighed. "You're oblivious, aren't you?"

Naruto shrugged. "That's what Se—Senji!"

Naruto jumped up, and positively _beamed_ at the fuming man. Sasuke climbed to his feet behind him, having the sense to look at least mildly guilty.

"How did you get away?" Senji snapped.

"We attached Iruka-sensei to the ceiling," Naruto said, his grin widening at his remembered triumph.

Kakashi twitched.

"And how'd you do that?"

"With rope and glue and pointies and other things that stick. It was awesome. There I was, packing up stuff to go live at his place and, bam!, I cough. Just once, you know, because two would have been suspicious. A few minutes later, another cough. And then a few minutes after that I coughed twice. And then a few minutes after _that—_"

Kakashi grabbed both of the boys by their collars and pulled out a length of rope. "I am tying you to the dog," he said, "and hoping he runs in the wrong direction."

Sasuke and Naruto wailed, kicking. Senji sighed and tried to control the circus.

"Kakashi, put the boys down. We might as well take them with us. It'll probably be less trouble. _Naruto_ don't you _dare_ flip Kakashi off."

Naruto didn't dare, because Senji had used The Tone, but he saw Sasuke do it very discreetly and giggled.

"My Senji likes me better than he likes you," Naruto told Kakashi in his loud whisper.

"Your Senji likes you more than he likes anyone," Kakashi replied dully.

Naruto thought about this for a moment, and agreed quite happily.

Senji stomped his foot in agitation and threw Naruto onto his back, Sasuke onto Kakashi's. For the first time in a long time, Sasuke spoke.

"Have you found him yet?" he asked. He sounded half-scared and half-hopeful to Naruto, who punched his shoulder to cheer him up.

"Oh, we've found him," Senji snapped. "We've definitely found him. At least three times."

Kakashi interrupted. "Well if _someone_ hadn't stopped to make me send back a summon—"

"Well if _you_ hadn't decided to try _dogs_…"

"It would have worked if you'd done as I said."

"If I'd done as you said we'd both be killed."

"I find that unlikely."

"You've never been good at judging the odds."

"Says the man who hasn't been on a mission in… how long?"

"Who needs missions to keep his skills up?"

The two adults went on arguing, jumping into the trees and taking off as they went. Sasuke and Naruto hung bemused on their backs.

"I don't think they like each other," Sasuke said astutely.

Naruto snorted. "Nah," he said. "They'll be best of friends soon enough."

Sasuke glanced at the vein sticking out of Kakashi's neck. "If you say so…"

oOo

Mist was still slithering around the ground, the sun having not yet peeked it's golden eye over the horizon, when Naruto was abruptly woken from a restless sleep by being laid in still dewy grass without a great deal of care.

He forced himself up, still rubbing sleep from his eyes, and slipped down the embankment he had been laid on to land face-first in a pile of wet, half-decomposed leaves. He jumped up, cursing and spitting, trying to get the dirt off his tongue. "Fox take that lying son of a badger! Dropping me in leaves…"

"Ahh!"

Sasuke landed in the pile next to him, feet first instead of face, and Naruto a shadow leapt over their heads as Kakashi jumped over the embankment and took off at a run past the trees. Naruto screamed curses after him for a minute, and then helped Sasuke up from where he was looking, and sounding, like a half-drowned cat. Naruto helpfully removed some of the leaves from his hair.

"What happened?" Sasuke demanded. "Where are we?"

A sudden _boom_ sent summer leaves crashing down on their heads, and a hot breeze ruffled Naruto's hair. He turned wide eyes toward the trees where Kakashi had disappeared.

"I don't know. But I think we need to find out. Like, now."

Sasuke agreed wholeheartedly, and they took off at a run for toward the rising heat in the east that was slowly burning off the morning dew.

It was only a few lines of trees they had to make it through before the battlefield opened up before them. It was a large clearing, filled with short grass and steaming puddles, and was pockmarked with the occasional and random crater, earth scattered around the site and sometimes still smoking. The combatants themselves were little more than blurs, barely distinguishable from each other. _Clang, clang, clang_. The sounds of a sword fight were carried back to Naruto by the wind, along with the screaming of a thousand birds. Another _boom_! filled the air, and made his legs wobble uncertainly on the suddenly trembling ground.

The sun finally made it over the trees, and momentarily blinded both the boys. In that moment there was a crack so loud it was like a tree snapping and when Naruto finally gained his feet Senji was standing opposite Itachi in the clearing, both of them breathing hard. Kakashi lay dazed on the opposite side of the boys, barely able to be seen.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, tugging at his sleeve. "Naruto, I think they're trying to kill each other."

"They're not gonna kill each other," Naruto scoffed. But even as he said it he had a sinking doubt in the pit of his stomach that they were trying to do just that. "Maybe we could talk to them. You go to Itachi, and I go to Senji. Try to work this out."

Sasuke nodded, and went running out into the field immediately, Naruto close on his heels. It was only halfway there that Naruto noticed Senji and Itachi were moving toward one another again at a run, and Naruto yelled loudly for them to stop. They didn't even seem to hear him, and hit each other with a clash of shrieking metal and blowing fire. They pulled back, circling, and the boys finally reached them. Sasuke jumped right into the middle, close to Itachi, but Naruto didn't see the hole Sasuke had crossed and fell right in, cursing around another mouthful of dirt.

_BOOM!_

Naruto screamed and clapped his hands over his ears, feeling hot blood leak between his fingers. Arms snatched him up, and Naruto opened bleary eyes to see Senji holding him close, face leeched of color.

He said something, but Naruto couldn't hear him at all, and shook his head. This only seemed to make Senji more distressed, and he turned his head to yell something else. Naruto looked around, confused, gaze finally landing on Itachi.

He was sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth, with tears pouring down his face as he cradled Sasuke in his arms. Sasuke was limp, blood pumping heavily from his middle, a sword passing clean through. Naruto thought he screamed, and he struggled in Senji's arms to try to get to Sasuke. Senji brought him over, and Naruto laid a careful hand on his friends face.

"Is he dead?" Naruto felt his tongue ask, and Senji shook his head, mouth still moving. He shook Itachi's shoulder hard, and yelled something at him. Itachi looked up, eyes glazed, and slowly nodded. He stood, still cradling Sasuke carefully in his arms.

The trip back to Konoha seemed to take forever, every second bloodstained and agonizing. Occasionally, he would see Sasuke's mouth open as he screamed. They had wrapped the wound, sword and all, to try to help, but every little bump and jostle was obviously agony.

Naruto was suddenly very glad he couldn't hear.

oOo

"I see what you mean about hospital smell," Naruto said, squirming in his plastic chair next to an unmoving Itachi. Itachi had his head in his hands, and had hardly moved from that position in the last two hours. "I mean, I thought the normal one was bad, but the one where they try to cover up the blood with cleaning stuff is way worse. Kind of like when you puke into a dirty toilet, huh? Hey, Itachi, are you listening?"

It was obvious the teenager wasn't, and one Naruto stopped talking he became aware of steady _plip, plip, plip_ as tears fell onto the tiled floor. He checked, and sure enough they were coming from Itachi. Naruto took a deep breath, got up and stood right in front of Itachi, and started shouting.

"It's all your fault!" He yelled. "If you hadn't left Sasuke never would have been hurt! You should just leave and never come back ever again!"

Itachi raised his head in shock, and the pain in his eyes made Naruto's voice freeze in his throat. "You're absolutely right," he agreed, voice hoarse. "If I hadn't been around, this never would have happened."

Naruto nodded. "Sasuke never would have been hurt. But," he added, pressing his hands into Itachi's knees when he tried to stand. "I forgive you, and I know Sasuke does too."

Itachi blinked at him, lashes clumped tightly together and eyes red. "What?"

"I forgive you," Naruto repeated. "You have made a mistake, and you'll have to fix it, but I forgive you."

"Who taught you that?" Itachi asked, wiping at his face.

"Senji," Naruto said, climbing back into the chair. "He says that kind of stuff whenever I've done something really bad."

Itachi snorted, and ruffled his hair. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Naruto said, beaming.

"What's all this then?" Senji asked, coming in with steaming hot breakfasts in his hands. "All healed up already Naruto?"

"Yup," Naruto said, tapping his ears. "Good as new! Doctor-dono fixed me up."

"Hn," he passed around rice balls stuffed with fish and hot cocoa. "Good. Itachi, you need to eat something."

Itachi shook his head. "I'm _really _not hungry."

"Starving yourself won't help the doctors work any faster," Senji said firmly, and pressed the food into his hands. "I just talked with them. He's doing well."

The news gave Naruto a whole new appetite, and he dug into his meal with happy gusto. "Will they be done soon?"

"In about four more hours," Senji said. "I think you need to go home. Stay with It—What did you say happened to Iruka?"

"Oh," Naruto said, just remembering. "…Oops."

"I can stay here," Itachi said. "While you go."

Senji gave him a disbelieving look. "You expect me to leave you alone?"

Itachi flinched. "Or I could take Naruto home… and detach Iruka…"

"I'll send a summons with you," Senji agreed. "And send any news. You can come back if you're sure Iruka isn't going to kill Naruto. Kakashi!" The man materialized from the shadows, and Naruto jumped. He hadn't even noticed him. "Will you go back with them?"

Kakashi rolled his eye. "_I'm_ the summons?"

"You're much better," Senji assured him. "Go on. Go detach your gay lover from a ceiling."

"His _what?_" Naruto asked, the same instant Itachi flushed red and Kakashi hissed.

"That is such a lie! Why do you believe this stuff?"

"Why are you so defensive? It's perfectly acceptable to choose an alternative life style. Although, does Pakkun know? You should really involve those who are important in your life in such a decision…"

Kakashi hissed again, and Naruto saw a faint flash of red over the top of the mask. "Stop it! That's a vicious rumor!"

Senji blinked innocently, and shrugged. "Okay."

Kakashi was still muttering and hissing about the incident the whole way back to the house, and only stopped when they found Iruka once again. He was fast asleep, still attached to the ceiling, and had somehow managed to get himself rocking slightly for a lulling effect. Naruto smiled.

"WAKE UP, SENSEI!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, and Iruka woke with such a start that the last few kunai came loose and he went falling to the floor. Kakashi half caught him, and set him on his feet, quickly undoing the glue and ropes.

Iruka was red in the face, and as soon as the yellow adhesive came off his mouth he was screaming, his voice only slightly hoarse after a day attached to a ceiling.

"YOU NASTY LITTLE BRAT!" he roared. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE IN?"

"I have an idea…" Naruto ventured.

"YOU HAVE _NO_ IDEA! I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH HOMEWORK YOU'LL BE AS OLD AS THE HOKAGE BEFORE YOU FINISH IT ALL! I AM GOING TO _KILL YOU!_"

Naruto winced, partly at Iruka's screaming and partly at Kakashi's answering smile and magically appearing kunai.

"He's upset," Itachi said, addressing Kakashi. "You should take him home."

"I'M NOT GOING HOME UNTIL I HANG THEM FROM THEIR TOES!"

"I like his idea," Kakashi argued, his usual laziness replaced by a stubborn rigidity.

"I understand your need to avenge your friend," Itachi reassured, calmly leading a still screaming Iruka to the window and opening it wide. "But not now. Go home, please."

Kakashi sighed and put away the kunai, then without so much as a word of warning threw Iruka out the window and let him land on the ground outside. Kakashi was just about to leave when Naruto screamed "WAIT! Wait, wait, wait!"

Everyone stared as Naruto turned around, and gave his very best (renamed) Ultra-Cool-Uber-Relaxed-Freaking-Neat-Jounin-Wave.

Kakashi was so shocked the kid remembered he just returned the gesture and slipped out the window.

"Hah," Naruto said happily. "Who's cool and laid-back now?" As soon as he finished, he started running in happy circles at his success.

"Oh, definitely you," Itachi assured him. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, stop that and listen please."

Naruto stopped, mid happy song, and sat down. "What?"

Itachi sat down beside him. "Do you remember Madara? The bad man who attacked the Uchiha?"

Naruto nodded, instantly subdued. "Yeah, I remember him."

"Well he's going to do something, something even worse, and Konoha needs to know what that is," Itachi said. "So I'm going to find out."

"You're leaving?" Naruto clarified. "But I thought…"

"It doesn't mean I love Sasuke less," Itachi said, twisting his hands over and over each other. "But… haven't you ever just _had_ to do something, or you felt like you would explode?"

"Going potty," Naruto said, nodding sagely.

Itachi snorted. "No, for someone else."

Naruto remembered being in the dark prison, the threat of pale lightning from the chains flickering in his bones, and nodded. "Yeah."

"This is one of those times."

"But you'll come back and visit right?" Naruto asked. "To see Sasuke?"

Itachi blinked. "Well, yes, I suppose I could."

"You _promise._"

"Once a month, as best I can, and I will never miss a birthday."

"Then I will not tell, and I will pretend you are still here," Naruto agreed. "Kakashi will be back soon."

"I'm going," Itachi promised. "Just let me grab some things."

Naruto followed him into his room, and watched him carefully pack a picture album, a shirt, a book, and Nasu into an already stuffed bag full of ninja supplies. Naruto bit his lip. "Will you be careful?"

"I'll be very careful," Itachi promised and knelt to hug him. "I'll even write you boys a letter?"

"Addressed to me and everything?"

"Addressed to you and everything. Now, I have to go. Tell Sasuke I love him and... when he's better, send me a note okay? Just so that I'm totally sure."

Naruto made a face. "Okay."

"Thanks," Itachi said, opening the window. "Bye, Naruto."

"Bye, Itachi-nii," Naruto said. "See you soon."

"See you soon."

And then Itachi was gone out the window, and Naruto peeked out just in time to see a shadow disappearing over the trees. He closed it up quietly, and went to turn the shower on.

Kakashi was back not ten minutes later and the first words out of his mouth were, "Where's Itachi?"

Naruto pointed mutely at the bathroom. "He just got in. Hey, do you always wear that mask?"

oOo

"Twenty minutes of his chatter before I noticed a thing," Kakashi said, shaking Naruto. "He's an evil, conniving-"

"You're just mad because I outsmarted you," Naruto informed him, trying not to look at Senji.

"Naruto," Senji sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "_Why_ did you do this?"

"It was something that had to be done," Naruto said firmly. "Like pottying. No going against nature! Believe it!"

"What is that, your catch phrase?" Kakashi asked, dumping him in a chair.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ah," Senji said. "Itachi is so…"

"It doesn't mean he loves Sasuke less," Naruto said suddenly, not quite sure why he was saying it. "It just means he has to find another way to take care of him."

Senji paused, and then slowly smiled. "You are an amazing child," he said, hugging Naruto tightly.

Naruto felt very proud of himself, and even found the extra happiness to beam at Kakashi, who looked very taken aback by the gesture.

"Kinazawa-san?" A nurse asked, gently intruding. "The surgery went very well. Sasuke is going to be just fine. He's in recovery right now, and will temporarily be awake for a few minutes. You can see him, if you do nothing to excite him."

Senji nodded, and they were all hurried along to the recovery room where Sasuke sat pale and nodding in bed. He looked up excitedly, and was obviously confused at not seeing Itachi there. Naruto felt his first stab of guilt. He had been so busy defending what he had done, he hadn't thought of how Sasuke would take it.

He climbed up next to him, very carefully. "Where is he?" Sasuke asked.

"He had to go," Naruto said, and Sasuke took a deep, shuddering breath and turned his face aside. "He had to-"

"Pulse rising," the nurse cut him off, pulling him from the bed. Just in time, because Sasuke started to twitch violently. "I need some help in here! He's seizing!"

Nurses came rushing in, the doctor following a minute later. The tiny group was rushed out back to the waiting room, and politely, but very firmly, informed that Sasuke would not be able to be seen again tonight. They could come back tomorrow.

"Did I do the right thing?" Naruto asked desperately, holding tight to Senji's hand.

"I don't know," Senji said. "I think so."

Naruto nodded, only comforted a little, and Senji took him home to sleep.

oOo

"Dear Naruto and Sasuke," Naruto read aloud, slowly and with long pauses when he had to puzzle out the words. "I was so happy to get your note, and am very glad Sasuke is feeling better. I have been sick with worry, and unable to stomach anything for days. Carrots are ugly when they come back up. I was so pale, that the people I'm talking to almost said I couldn't join their group! Luckily, I convinced them otherwise, and now have a very interesting partner. He has teeth, and gills, and is not half as pretty as I am."

Naruto traded a grin with Sasuke, who urged him to continue. "Nasu has been of great comfort to me, and every time I see him I think of you two and it brings a smile to my face. I hope to see you soon, love Itachi."

"That was a nice letter," Sasuke said, leaning weakly back on his pillows. "I hope he visits soon. It's kind of like him being gone on those long missions."

Naruto nodded, carefully folding the letter and placing it back in the lacquered cherry box Senji had purchased just for the occasion. "How are you feeling?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I wish people would stop asking me that."

"You have a needle in your arm, you look like a ghost, and you sound like a dead turtle," Naruto said bluntly. "People have to ask those kind of questions when you look that way."

"Whatever. The pudding is really good."

"But how are you _feeling_?"

"They say I can go home in like two days," Sasuke said excitedly. "If I had someone living with us to take care of me. Something about my chakra bein' wonky."

"Very wonky," Doctor Kamiya said, coming into the room. "Unbelievably wonky. In fact, you are the wonkiest case I have ever had." She ruffled Naruto's hair, and stroked her fingers Sasuke's. "But wonky people are the best kind, and you're getting better every day! We'll have you back up to speed in no time."

"Hi, Doctor-dono," the boys both said shyly, smiling and blushing a little. "You look really pretty today," Naruto said, and Sasuke added. "_Really _pretty."

"Aw, thanks boys!" she said, and kissed both of their foreheads. "But don't go and start thinking I look this good naturally. This kind of beauty takes hours. Your sink is going to be a mess by the time I'm done."

"Our sink?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke nodded, chin going up. "Hikari-san is the one that's going to be taking care of me."

"Really?" Naruto was so excited he could barely sit still. "Really—hey, can I call you Hikari-san?"

"Sure can."

"Really Hikari-san?"

"Really," she assured, and the affection in her voice was clear. "I'm moving in next week."

"And marrying Senji the week after," Naruto whispered to Sasuke with a grin. Sasuke nodded excitedly.

Hikari smiled, and there was a surprising edge to it. "Oh yes, I'm sure Senji-san and I will have a lot to talk about."

oOo

AN: Ahem.

Tell me honestly, was it worse?

It's not that it will change the story, as I like it the way it is, but... was it worse?

All reviews will be deeply, and greatly, appreciated. :)


	4. Of Vacations and Bears

oOo

Naruto knew how to deal with the Hokage.

"You do realize how much trouble you're in?"

It was a subtle art, striking a fine balance between uninterested, uncaring, and occasional sparks of devotion.

"You both left the village without permission when you were under guard."

Naruto kicked his feet and stared at a picture of a roiling ocean, filled with tiny, intricate details he didn't appreciate, stuck just behind the Hokage's shoulder. Swollen, angry clouds spat lightning into the deep, blue-black ocean, the light flickering in the depths. On the waves rode one tiny boat, half-capsized and turned so the rim was smiling at the onlooker.

It kind of gave Naruto the creeps.

"Naruto, are you listening?" Hokage-sama asked, fingers folded together like old leather bands.

"Sure am, Gramps," Naruto said. "What are we talking about?"

The fingers squeezed so hard the wrinkly old knuckles turned yellow. Senji put a hand on Naruto's knee, a silent symbol that this was Not The Time.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and his eyes drifted back to the picture. There was a tiny, tiny face peeking over the side of the boat, screaming. It reminded him of that little girl's face, the one with her dark hair in a braid and the pink bow flopping at the end, that had been woken up too soon on That Night. Her eyes had been big and dark and _sparkling_ and then just… nothing.

Naruto stood next to her and held her hand, pulling her out of the way of Senji's lunge. He ran out the door and Evil Man stood there, cape thrown over half his face and laughing. Naruto roared out a challenge and charged him, sidestepping the punch and jumping up and up and up, high as the Konoha wall, and then came down with his heel right on top of the Evil Man's head. It split just like a watermelon.

"Naruto!" People cheered, and he landed among a thousand hands and a thousand smiling faces of all those Uchiha, the girl screaming the loudest. Senji and Sasuke and Itachi were all there, and with each cheer the hands threw him higher and higher. "Naruto! Naruto! Naruto!"

"Naruto!"

Naruto jumped out of his daydream, blinking at the frowning Hokage. He was disoriented for a moment, but covered it up with a smile. "Yeeeeessss?"

"Naruto," Senji asked, "are you alright?"

"Fine!" Naruto squeaked. "Just fine. I was just… thinking. Yeah, thinking."

"About what?"

"About saving that little girl in the picture from a bad man."

Senji and Hokage-sama traded A Look.

Sandaime grabbed his pen. "I'm recommending both Naruto and Sasuke to therapy," he said, pen scratching away.

Naruto balked. "I'm not crazy!" he yelled. "And neither is Sasuke!"

"That's not what he means, Naruto," Senji said, scratching his neck. "People that have been through traumatic events often go to… _therapy._"

Naruto could hear the derision in Senji's voice, and right then decided he was _not_ going to _any therapy._

"I'm not going," Naruto said, folding his arms. "I am not, I am not, I am _not_."

"Yes you are," Hokage-sama said calmly.

"Oh, yeah, it sounds like a great idea," Senji agreed, and Naruto turned to him in injured disbelief. "Which therapist are you recommending them to? The one that worked with Kakashi, or Itachi? Any others I'm sure they'll make cry within the first hour. If you can even find one that will ignore _certain things._"

Hokage-sama's pen froze. "Yes, perhaps."

"Let Kamiya-dono work with me," Senji said, his voice hypnotic. "She can teach me how to handle anything… questionable."

"A very persuasive argument, as always Kinazawa," Hokage-sama sighed. "Very well."

Senji only barely managed to keep his self satisfaction contained to the hallway. "That went along excellently."

"Yup," Naruto said, spotting Bear in the hallway. "Hold on a sec."

He kicked the ANBU in the shin to get attention (Which truly hurt Naruto more than the ANBU due to the shin-guard) and smiled. "Here, this is for you." He held out a letter.

The ANBU glanced around, and then took it quickly, nodding his thanks.

Naruto skipped off, quite happy with his work, already imagining the smile on the ANBU's face when he opened the card with the carefully drawn 6's on the front to a burst of confetti and a Naruto's own voice shouting 'Thanks you!'

It was enough to keep him grinning all the way to the ramen stand, and then he started grinning for a whole different reason. "Ramen!"

"Just for you," Senji said. "We'll pick some onigiri up for Sasuke on the way back to the hospital. He gets to come home today."

"I know," Naruto said with his mouth full. "So does Hikari-san!"

"Hn." Senji seemed much less enthusiastic about the news.

"You don't like, Hikari-san?" That put a kink in Naruto's plan to have them married off next week. He wondered if the bag of M&M's he had already purchased for the dinner were refundable.

"She's fine," Senji said. "There are just some politics going on there I don't like."

"Like what?"

"They're hoping that you prefer living with her, and will leave my house. Which is fine, of course, if you would be happier…"

Naruto, for quite possibly only the second time in his life, was shocked into silence for a full minute. "Naruto, buddy, you okay?"

"I'm never gonna leave!" Naruto shouted suddenly. "Not ever! They might be boring or not know how to make tomato ramen without ruining the ramen or have roaches or-"

"It's okay," Senji soother frantically. "They won't take you away unless you want to go. Besides, you might get to live with Iruka. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"No," Naruto said sullenly, the shock still too fresh for jokes, but he tried his best anyway. "Worse, I might have to live with _Bear._"

"Or the _Hokage._"

"Or _Kakashi._"

Senji shuddered. "That would definitely be the worst."

Naruto's spirits lifted with the joking, and now his appetite returned and he went back to slurping noodles quite happily. "So, is Hikari-san staying in your room?"

oOo

"And this is the bathroom and this is me and Sasuke's room and that's what used to be Itachi's room right there but you'll be in there now and that's Senji's room! Don't go in there. Poor Iruka-sensei went snooping once and got stuck to the ceiling. Terrible business. I was just _distraught_ (I just learned that word, don't you like it?) that he was stuck up there but, well, I suppose that's what you get for snooping, huh? Um… kitchen, living room, closet… all done!"

Hikari-san looked a little shell-shocked from the information overload, but smiled anyway. "Thank you for showing me around," she said. "I think I'm going to go put my bags away, alright?"

"Sure!" Naruto said, "Let me help you. I'm really excited you're staying with us, Hikari-san. Real excited."

"Yeah," he said, smiling at Sasuke's prone form stretched over Hikari's bed. "I did good."

"No, you did well."

"Thanks!"

Hikari-san paused, and tilted her head to look at Sasuke. "How are you feeling Sasuke-kun? Do you want to help me unpack?"

Sasuke eyed her for a long moment, and shrugged.

Naruto took it as a yes. "Open this suitcase and start throwing me socks!"

Sasuke was only too happy to oblige, all the most of the socks were thrown at Naruto's head instead of his arms.

Naruto squawked, trying to stuff all the socks into the drawer as they came flying. "Why do you have so much _stuff,_ Hikari-san?"

"Because I'm a woman, that's why," Hikari replied, setting her make-up bag and purse down on the desk. "Do you think I look this good naturally?"

"Yes," Naruto said blankly, shutting the drawer with a _thump._ Sasuke's eyes got wide as he looked into the bag, and then he shut it suddenly.

"Different bag," he squeaked. "I can't unpack _this_ bag."

Hikari turned around and laughed. "Oh no, not my unmentionables. But you can't have this one either"

"Why? What do you have in that one?" He asked, craning his head to try to get a look. Naruto immediately tried to do the same thing.

"Oh, you know," she said. "The usual. A mace, some of the basic poisons, paperclips—big ones—ball and chain, kunai… all that stuff."

The boys stared at her in mute suspicion. "_Really?_" Naruto asked.

She laughed. "No. It's just a bunch of clothes."

Sasuke still looked suspicious, but let it slide. For now, Naruto knew. Sasuke would be going through her stuff later.

"I really appreciate you letting me have this room especially, Sasuke-kun," Hikari said. "I know it was your brother's…"

"Whatever," Sasuke muttered, pulling into his collar like a turtle pulling into its shell.

Hikari smiled, and in two quick strides was standing in front of him and kissing his cheek. "And a thank you for helping with my bags," she added, and kissed his other cheek.

Sasuke's entire face was bright red, and he stuttered out something that might have been 'thank you' but sounded like 'anamu…'

"Hey!" Naruto yelled. "I helped carry your bags too!"

"Quite right!" Hikari said, in surprise. "Can't forget that," and she leaned over and kissed Naruto's cheek too.

He smiled shyly, and felt his ears burn red hot.

He thought they were going to like Hikari living here.

oOo

The next day Naruto woke up, and the world had shifted.

Everything had turned sideways and upside down and loop-the-loop and he was completely disoriented. The carpet was suddenly much closer (and much dirtier) than Naruto remembered.

Sasuke threw a pillow at his head. "You fell out of bed, Dobe."

Oh.

Naruto scrambled up and shook the blankets off his legs, almost falling over when his foot tangled in a trailing sheet. "I can't believe I didn't wake up," he whined. "I've never fallen out of bed before! I can't believe I wasn't awake, it would have been an experience and—and a right of passage and—"

"Naruto," Sasuke interrupted. "I can assure you that it's exactly like falling off anything else. Since you're so clumsy, you should know exactly what that's like."

Naruto gasped in outrage. "I am not clumsy! You're clumsy, you—you—clumsy!"

"Oaf," Sasuke said with a grin.

"Dummy," Naruto replied, gently poking his shoulder.

"Maniac," Sasuke said, poking harder.

Naruto giggled. "Booger!"

"Tweety-bird!"

"Butt-muncher!"

"Fart sniffing bubble-butt!"

"Pinheaded ultra-pig!"

"Dog nose sucker!"

"Stupy-head!"

"Already full of energy I see," Hikari said, coming into the room in nothing more than shorts, a tank top, and a light robe. "That's good. Naruto, I've got to treat Sasuke for a minute. Why don't you go help with breakfast?"

"Okay," Naruto agreed, and patted Sasuke's head. "Have fuuuun."

Sasuke slapped at him. But Naruto was already out the door, and climbing up on his stool. "I'm here."

Senji nodded, staring absentmindedly out the window. "Hn…"

Naruto waved his hand on front of Senji's glazed eyes. "_Hello…_"

Senji blinked roughly, and shook his head. "Sorry," Senji said. "Oh _sh—_shh…" he hissed as the pot boiled over.

"Wow," Naruto said. "You were out there."

Senji muttered something unintelligible, and replaced the crackling pot. "Just… hand me the pepper."

Naruto pressed his lips together, and handed him the salt.

oOo

Sasuke came to the breakfast table counting invisible sparkles and giggling, and Hikari looked quite pleased. "His recovery is going really well," she said.

It _looked_ like she had replaced Sasuke with a loopy, brain-washed alien from planet giggle, but Naruto chose not to comment.

"It _looks_ like he was replaced by a loopy, brain-washed alien from planet giggle," Naruto said aloud, and clicked his teeth together. "Aw man, that wasn't supposed to come out! And that wasn't either. Stop it, mouth!"

Hikari laughed. "No, no, he does."

"What do you have planned for Sasuke?" Senji asked, taking a bite of his rice flavored with cinnamon and sugar.

"The first week he'll have to be treated three times a day in hour long sessions," Hikari said. "After breakfast he'll be all prepped for the first one. He'll probably sleep between all of the sessions."

"Excellent."

"What are we gonna do today?" Naruto asked, looking expectantly at Senji. If Sasuke was out of the picture, it would be solely up to Senji to entertain him today. "Can you teach me that new move?"

"Sure," Senji agreed easily. "We'll go swimming as well."

"Yay! Can Hikari come?"

Senji's lips pressed together. "If she likes."

"You like, Hikari?" Naruto asked, facing her expectantly.

She smiled. "Sounds wonderful."

Senji frowned, and refused to speak until after breakfast. As this was not completely unusual, Naruto carried on the conversation with Hikari, and hardly noticed the currents of ruffled sensibilities and smug grins hanging in the air, when he noticed them at all.

oOo

Swimming was tons of fun, as the adults seemed to be having a competition over his affections and kept him so wildly entertained he required a nap after he got home, even after the massive amount of popsicles he had ingested.

Sasuke was un-loopy enough at dinner time to sit and eat at the table, although Hikari fretted over him most of the time. About half way through, he was recovered enough to hiss.

"Swimming sure was fun today," Hikari commented. "I think I even got a bit of a tan."

Naruto doubted it. She had been slathering on enough sunscreen to shield a desert.

"It was fun," Senji agreed, locking eyes with her across the table. "I'm so glad you could come."

Naruto thought he should be excited about the thawing out toward Hikari, but there was something about the way they said the things that made him doubt.

While they were engaged, Naruto began to discreetly wipe the broccoli off his plate. Sasuke saw him, and followed suit.

"It was my pleasure. I was so glad I could help out."

"You are a treasure."

"If there's any other duty I could perform…"

_Clack!_ Went Senji's chopstick on the boy's plates, stopping them just before the broccoli could disappear into the dark depths of Under The Table.

"I'll let you know," Senji said, and Naruto had a weird feeling that there was a threat in those words. "Boys, eat your broccoli."

"Aw come on, Senji," Naruto whined. "Just for tonight?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said, "just for tonight?"

"Sure," Senji said calmly.

Naruto didn't bother to cheer, Senji would let the other shoe drop any second.

"But you can't have dessert either."

…and there it went. _Thump._

_Thump_, went Naruto's head on the table, too. "…What's for dessert?"

"Flavored ice."

Sasuke sighed, and ate his broccoli.

Naruto was having none of that. "Engarde!" he cried, jumping to his feet and pointing his chopsticks at the broccoli bowl. "Hey, Senji, if I defeat the broccoli I can still have dessert right?"

Senji massaged his temples. "The only way to defeat them is to eat them," he said. "So yes. If you can defeat the _entire bowl_ you can have all the dessert you want."

"Fine," Naruto said, sitting down. "I'll just eat my broccoli."

"Very good," Senji said. "Finish up before they're cold."

Naruto took a bite, and grimaced.

"Too late," he sighed. "Now they're cold _and_ nasty."

Senji waved the idea of dessert over his head temptingly for at least five minutes before he could convince Naruto to eat his broccoli, and all the time Hikari watched. Silent.

oOo

A week went by, all following the same basic routine. Sasuke would get a treatment at breakfast, lunch, and dinner and everyday was able to stay awake for longer and longer. Senji and Hikari maintained a plastic friendliness, with verbal spikes occasionally thrown at each other, and Naruto tended to ignore it or, if they got to into it, distracting them by doing something cute.

At the end of the week, he sent his report to Itachi, via Senji, and Sasuke was even able to send one. He took very great care with his handwriting and what he was going to say, and was very pleased with the product.

_Dear Itachi,_

_I'm happy to hear your club likes you. Sasuke is doing beter. Doctor is treeting Sasuke good. Treat Nasu nicely. I love you today._

_Love,_

_Naruto_

He very carefully pressed a sticker of a happy face right under his name, and put on another ten a little more haphazardly to seal the envelope. The entire bright package was eagerly submitted and Naruto proceeded to spend the afternoon lying around the house in oppressive boredom.

It was very hot, the air outside hazy and the pavement cooking under the harsh heat. The air conditioner inside was working hard to keep the air comfortable, but even so the heat seemed to beat its way indoors and smother Naruto in a hot, itchy blanket. He lay on the rug in the living room, sleeping, for almost an hour in the afternoon just to escape it all.

When he woke up, it seemed a little cooler, and he dragged himself up to get a popsicle from the freezer. The cold felt so wonderful, he pressed himself closer and stayed until shivers started running up and down his back. He climbed under the table to eat his popsicle, cooler than he had been in hours.

Two sets of bare feet padded into the room, and Naruto recognized them as Senji and Hikari. He almost climbed out and talked to them, but it was so cool and comfortable under the table he didn't bother.

"I'd forgotten how hot summer can get," Hikari groaned, sitting on top of the table. Naruto frowned. _He_ wasn't allowed to sit on top of the table. Why was Senji letting her do it when he couldn't? "I think I'm going to start melting soon."

"I thought that only happened when you had water poured on you," Senji commented mildly. "Ice?"

"Please. …Why so mean?"

"Like you don't know."

"I really don't."

"Stop playing dumb with me. You made mistakes."

"Mistakes?"

"Naruto lines up his stool a certain way, I found a particularly colored hair, the couch is slightly on the rug, not off."

Hikari laughed, and Naruto shivered, confused. _My stool? Is he accusing __**Hikari**__ of moving it? That's silly. Hikari is nice._

"You always were observant about the unimportant things," Hikari said, feet swinging. Senji's feet moved from the freezer to around where Hikari was sitting, and Naruto heard the ice clink against the glasses he was carrying in his hands.

"What are you doing here?" Senji asked quietly, standing so close Hikari couldn't swing her feet without kicking him. This obviously didn't bother her, as she kept swinging and with even a bit more gusto.

"You have to ask? I thought it would be obvious."

"Sakura-"

"Shut it," Hikari snapped, voice a whip. "You are the most despicable cretin on earth, and the only thing that is going to change what you've done is when you're rotting in your grave."

There was silence for a moment, and then Senji stepped back and Hikari slipped off the table. "Thanks for the drink. I'm going to go find Naruto. Hopefully, you didn't kill him in his sleep."

Senji hissed after her, but didn't give chase.

Naruto's uneaten popsicle had melted, and now dripped on the floor, the sticky confection covering his hand. He didn't move it, just stared unseeing at the table leg. What was happening? Was Hikari from the future too? He suddenly found himself wondered how easy it was to jump backwards and forwards in time. If two people could do it, could everybody?

"Eep!" Naruto squeaked, suddenly pulled out from under the table and into the sunlight. Senji had him by the collar, and his eyebrows were pulled down into a straight V.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it," Naruto said honestly. "But I didn't understand much. Is Hikari from the future? Did she move my stool? Why? I-"

"Shh," Senji soothed, taking away his popsicle and dumping it down the sink, grabbing a rag while he was at it. He carefully cleaned Naruto's hand. "That's enough. Let me explain. She… is an old friend of mine, but we had a falling out. She came back here to see me, try to work things out, but I wasn't home. She went to the bathroom and accidentally moved your stool."

Senji seemed to be getting more into his explanation as he went, nodding to himself every once and a while. "That's all."

"Then how come she said she was gonna kill you?"

"That was a joke."

"It didn't sound like a joke."

"Well it was."

"So is she from the future?"

Senji cocked his head to the side, obviously deciding whether or not to tell him the truth. "I'm going to let you figure out that one on your own."

Naruto groaned. He _hated_ it when Senji said stuff like that. It always meant a lot of work for Naruto.

Senji tapped his chin. "Come on, I think Sasuke's up."

Naruto wasn't satisfied in the least, but he figured Sasuke might have some really good theories on the subject, so he ran right in to tell him.

oOo

"A vacation?"

"Yeah," Senji shrugged, "As a celebration that Sasuke is all healed up."

"Vacation!" Naruto shouted, head spinning with possibilities. "Celebration! Where are we gonna go? What are we gonna do?"

"Are we going to the Capitol?" Sasuke asked, just as excited, bringing some color back to his cheeks. "Mountain climbing? The beach?"

"The beach!" Naruto shrieked. "I've never been to the beach!"

"You've never been to the Capitol either, Doink."

"Well neither have _you._"

"I was thinking something a bit more low key," Senji interrupted. "Sasuke isn't up to his usual snuff yet."

"I won't hold you back," Sasuke said pleadingly. "I'll be good!"

"I know you will," Senji said. "But goodness does not necessarily mean strength."

"Where do you wanna go, Hikari?" Naruto asked, ignoring Senji's big words.

Hikari tapped her chin, thinking, and Naruto watched her. He had been staying closer to Senji ever since she had made the 'joke' about killing the man, so that Naruto could protect him more easily. But Hikari was just as fun and nice as ever, like the conversation had never happened, and when he had asked about it all she had said was 'Senji's right. It was a joke. You want some ice-cream?'

"There's a really pretty town up north with hot springs and mountain climbing and fishing and all sorts of cool things to see," She said finally. "That would be fun, and low key enough that as long as Sasuke didn't have a relapse he would be okay."

"What's a relapse?" Naruto asked.

"It's when an illness comes back," Hikari explained. "It happens sometimes."

Naruto was horrified. Sasuke could get sick again? It had been so awful the first time, and Sasuke so miserable, Naruto didn't think he could take it again.

"Maybe we should wait," he said uncomfortably. "Until Sasuke is really better."

"No!" Sasuke argued. "We're going."

Senji was biting his lip, obviously upset, and glared at Hikari. His jaw went tight. "If a physician came, I'm sure Sasuke would be fine. Isn't that right, Hikari?"

"Oh, probably," Hikari said, smoothing a bit of lint away from her skirt. "Certainly less dangerous."

"Would you be willing to come?" Senji forced out, a visible effort for him.

Hikari smiled brightly. "Why, Senji-san, I thought you would never ask. Come on boys! " she cried, taking them by the hand. "Let's go get packed!"

Hikari twirled them out of the room, leaving a fuming Senji behind.

oOo

There were some days Naruto wondered if living with Senji was the right thing to do.

It wasn't just the normal swings of hate and love that he imagines all children his age experience either, when they get sent to bed early or sit in the corner for some a little while, but a true question of whether the things he has seen and experienced are worth it. He always feels guilty for these thoughts. Wasn't a family all he had ever wanted? And Senji had given him family- Sasuke, Itachi, Irkua-sensei, Kakashi (on good days), and Hikari. All he had ever hoped for, he had.

But there were nights when he woke up screaming, seeing a thousand faces twisted into dying screams and felt pain in his chest and his stomach and everything bad in the world had come to get him all at once. Demons knocked down the doors and scratched at his arms, and the rats from the old apartment came in to nibble at his toes, strips of flesh falling to the floor.

"Naruto!"

But there were also nights, the nights when the dreams left him screaming, that he realized he wouldn't give his Senji up for anything.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh…" Senji soothed, tucking Naruto into his arms. "Shh… What's wrong? Come on, little man. What's up?"

Naruto sniffled pathetically into Senji's shoulder. "I had a bad dream."

"What about?"

"There were-" already the dream was slipping away, leaving him feeling cold and nauseous. "Faces. So many faces, and they were all screaming. They were waiting for me to save them, Senji. But I _couldn't_. I just _couldn't_. I wasn't big enough, and the rats were nibbling on my toes and Hokage Rattus the Fourth had stolen Old Man's hat and—it was just scary."

Senji hugged him closer, and Sasuke managed to peel his eyes open long enough to curl against Naruto's back. Hikari stood aloof in the doorway—pale, silent, and accusing.

"Maybe taking this trip was a bad idea," Senji said. "Maybe we need to take you back to Konoha."

"No!" Naruto yelled, remembering Senji's descriptions of the festivals and mountains they were supposed to go see. "No! It wasn't that bad! Please don't make me go home. I won't scream anymore!"

"This is not about you screaming," Senji said. "I just want you to feel comfortable. Travelling is stressful, and you've had your fair share of stress lately."

Yeah," Naruto said. "Itachi being gone is sad."

Senji made a noise a agreement. "Sasuke? Sasuke, buddy, I'm going to go get Naruto some water. Do you want to come, or sleep?"

"No water," Sasuke muttered, curling up. "He wets bed…"

"I do not!" Naruto insisted, ears burning. _One time_ and Sasuke holds it against him forever.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'll take Naruto. I need to talk to him," Hikari said, appearing at Senji's elbow. Her eyes were very hard.

"Don't upset him," Senji warned, and placed Naruto into her warm arms.

Naruto was surprised how soft and cuddly she was, and buried his face into the soft parts of her chest. "Comfy…"

She snorted. "I'll bet. Come on, let's get you a drink."

"Mmnoo…"

"So," she said, setting him down on a cushion in the tiny kitchenette. "Why do you think you have these nightmares?"

Naruto groaned. "What is this, therapy?"

"Tell me, Naruto."

He blinked, but did as she asked. "I can't tell."

She paced the water into his hand gently, settling herself on the other cushion and leaning against the low table. "Is it classified?"

"Yeah," he whispered, running a finger around the top of his cup. "Very secret."

She tilted her head to the side. "Do you dream of the massacre?"

"How do you-"

"I," she interrupted. "Have a few skeletons cluttering up my closet as well, Sweetie. It is a dastardly project trying to fit new shoes among them."

Naruto had no idea what she was talking about, but decided not to mention the fact.

"Sometimes," he admitted. "The bad man, he-"

"He what, Sweetie?"

"He made me watch," Naruto said, voice breaking on the last word.

"Oh!" Hikari cried, and pulled him into her arms. "Oh you poor thing!"

Naruto, quite manfully, resisted the urge to cry. Sasuke and Senji _never_ cried.

Alright, maybe one or two tears leaked out.

"I just wanna go back to bed," Naruto muttered.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" She offered. "Just so that you don't get scared again."

"Like… cuddle?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Yeah, okay."

"We'll kick Senji out," she assured with a wink, and Naruto laughed, some of his tears forgotten.

oOo

They had only been traveling two days when the nightmare had struck, but already Senji was saying that they would be at Kyo by that night. The landscape had been changing quickly. From rolling hills with tall grasses that rippled in the hot breeze and trees as tall as houses, they had come to rocky gorges that dropped to thundering rivers with scraggly trees clinging to the sides in an iron grip brought on by decades. The wind had become cooler on their faces, and wide stretches of nothing but heavy forests, where the trees were taller than the ones at home and almost seemed to scrape the clouds, gave way to towns so suddenly over a hill Naruto had to keep his eyes wide open not to miss anything.

That was how they came upon Kyo. They had been climbing a hill one minute, carefully following a well-worn road, and at the crest the city sprawled suddenly out before them, situated nicely between heavy cliffs. Naruto cheered, and ran down the slope, Senji following closely, almost tumbling head-first in his haste.

"Where are we gonna stay?" He asked excitedly, head whipping around to take in the new sights. The buildings were thicker here, and the colors a bit more muted. People were coming and going from every which way, pushing carts and selling things, and the excitement was almost too much to take.

Senji grabbed his hand, and forced him to wait three agonizing minutes for Hikari and Sasuke to catch up before he would go on. He led them expertly through a maze of twisting streets to a shining hotel, the biggest and prettiest Naruto had ever seen. The sign on the front said: "Aoyia" in giant, stylized letters.

Naruto traded an excited look with Sasuke, his blood singing in his veins. This was going to be _awesome._

Naruto collapsed onto the gigantic bed in the middle of the gigantic room the moment Senji opened the door with the room key, kicking off his shoes and sighing. Sasuke collapsed next to him a moment later, giggling.

"I saw a pool on the way up," Naruto said.

"I saw a sauna."

"I saw a rock-climbing wall!"

"I saw a training room!"

"I saw a TV the size of Senji!"

"I saw food the size of Senji!"

"I saw-"

"Bathroom!" Hikari called suddenly, making a dash for it. "I'll see you in an hour!"

She slammed the door shut, and Senji dropped their bags at the foot of the bed. (He hadn't allowed the luggage guy to take them, sending him away with one cold glare.)

"How would you boys like to go swimming?"

Naruto flopped over, grinning. "I think I like this vacation thing."

oOo

"Now you'll wanna stick to the trails," Koji told them, his gnarled finger pointing out places on the map. "There are some pretty big bears around here, and some hikers have gone missing. People say that they've seen giant bear prints around, but that's probably just a rumor."

"Hn," Senji grumped, having been pushed out of bed much too early to be excited about bears. Koji coughed, and pulled his hat a bit lower to shield himself from the sheer unpleasantness.

Naruto hopped down from the counter, bored, and wandered over to a yawning Sasuke. He was leaning heavily against Hikari's leg, who looked completely above the situation and immune to such things as tiredness, despite the dark circles under her eyes.

Naruto leaned against her other leg, and smiled. "Hi."

She smiled back, teeth flashing white. "Hi, Sweetie. Tired?"

"A little bit," Naruto yawned. "We were up very early."

"Five o' clock is an ungodly time to be up," Hikari agreed. "It is only morning when the sun had gotten itself over the horizon."

Naruto nodded, idly tracing patterns on her leg. She had a few freckles on her thigh, like she had spilled brown sugar on herself and not cleaned it off. He poked each one in turn, making constellations on her milky skin. He yawned again, widely, and forgot which pattern he had been making.

"Okay," Senji said, wandering back over. "We have clearance to walk."

The news made Naruto so excited he woke up immediately, and poked Sasuke awake as well, very nearly losing his finger. "We're ready! We're ready! We're gonna go see bears, and waterfalls, and rabbitses, and all sorts of stuff!"

Hikari sighed. "Yay. Nature."

Naruto was rather affronted by her lack of excitement, and turned to Senji looking for approval. Senji smiled at him, indulgently.

"Let's go."

Sasuke woke up after about ten minutes, the hike up the mountain exciting him. The mountain, according to Koji, was actually a dormant volcano, and if they made it to the top they could get real volcanic rock.

Naruto already knew exactly what he was going to do with his. He was going to set one rock on a shelf, and the others he would grind up, mix feathers and sparkles in, and dump all over Sparrow. Sparrow was an ANBU, and therefore needed some fun in his life.

The happy thought gave Naruto all the energy he needed, and when they decided to stop for lunch Naruto could only bring himself to sit down because Sasuke looked so tired and his hands kept fluttering around his stomach.

"Hm," Hikari said, peering at the other side of the tree she was leaning against. "Hey, come look at this!"

Naruto scrambled over, Senji and Sasuke following at a more sedate pace.

Naruto whistled, gently pressing his fingers into the deep grooves in the tree. The slash was longer than he was tall, cutting almost to the core of the tree and spaced apart about the size of Senji's hands. The grooves themselves were several inches thick, and the splinters left were still fresh enough to be wet.

"I guess that confirms the giant bear theory," Senji said grimly, already scanning the area for damage, or maybe even the one of the animals. "We had better go back."

"No!" Naruto begged, images of the volcano dancing in his head. "You said you could take down a normal bear ten feet away no problem. A big bear shouldn't be too bad! Come on, can't we please go to the top? You promised. You _promised,_ Senji."

Senji tapped his fingers against his thigh, thinking hard. Sasuke looked nervous, glancing around like he expected a bear to pop up right then. Naruto poked him. "_Volcano rock,_" he reminded.

Sasuke had wanted to send a piece to Itachi, and so he squared his shoulders and said: "You did promise Senji. And we haven't been bothered so far."

Senji sighed heavily. "Alright," he agreed finally. "But we're going to have to be more careful, alright? I'll walk ahead, you two will stay in the middle, and Hikari will bring up the rear. No running off, and no going ahead. If you see a bear, really see one, let me know. I'm going to kill it immediately, so make sure you know it's a bear."

Naruto and Sasuke nodded obediently, beaming, and Hikari grinned. "Sissy," she said. "Just couldn't resist the face, could ya?"

Senji muttered something under his breath and turned around, gathering up their lunch and ushering them back onto the path.

The first few minutes were quiet and tense, and Naruto became uneasy. He found himself looking around, straining his eyes to catch a glimpse of a wall of fur or giant claws. He saw nothing, only the normal trees towering high above his head, but he still felt prickles all along his spine. He started talking, just to lessen his nerves. "What are these trees called, Senji? They're super huge. I didn't think the trees got bigger than the ones in Konoha."

"These are called redwoods," Senji said. "They're some of the biggest trees in the world. The people around here think that their god, Jakor, planted them for protection against the erupting volcano."

"Wow," Sasuke said, looking up. "Were our trees planted by gods?"

Senji nodded. "Oh, yes. The gods Amateru and Amaterasu."

"Who are they?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke sighed. "They're the fire gods," he said. "The great ones. They're the ones that gave man life. They're brother and sister, and their Father and Mother gave them control of the earth. Everybody knows the story."

"I don't think I've ever heard it," Hikari said. "Will you tell it?"

"I'm not very good," Sasuke said shyly. "Senji, will you tell?"

Senji nodded. "A long time ago, Amateru and Amaterasu were given the earth for safekeeping. They blew from their lips, and there was wind. They cried, and there was the ocean. They passed their hands across the dirt, and grass, flowers and trees sprang up. They pulled clay from the earth, and made animals. It was very beautiful, but the gods were bored, so they each removed one of their fingers and buried them. From the ground sprang man, and man soon covered the earth."

"When Father and Mother had seen the children had defaced themselves for such lowly beings, they were angry, and took away the sun, hiding it deep in the center of the earth. The humans began to die, but Amateru and Amaterasu loved them, and so they kissed each other's cheeks and Amateru exploded into light, becoming the new sun. Amaterasu, became warmth for man on earth, fire, and they watch over and protect us even today."

Naruto was fascinated by the story. "Is Amaterasu in every fire?"

"Yes, and every time someone destroys the will of fire in another person another part of her dies too."

"Oh," Naruto said, very sad. "Do you believe all that?"

"I believe many things," Senji replied evasively. "Do you know any stories, Hikari-san?"

Hikari told a story about a powerful ninja named the Professor, whom Naruto was not-so-surprised to learn was the Hokage. His mind drifted through most of it, and he stared out at the trees, wondering if the sun inside the middle of the earth was ever going to come back out again.

Something flashed among the trees, large and dark, and Naruto stared after it, surprised. He had almost forgotten about the claw marks on the trees, but now his nerves came back full force. He stared in vain at the heavy cover, trying to catch another glimpse.

There! A flash of black fur and dark eyes, with something white and shining flashing in a patch of sun; Naruto was about to call out, but he wasn't sure it was a _bear_, and Senji had said not to say anything if it wasn't.

The blur disappeared again, and Naruto chewed on his lip, wondering where it had gone. Maybe it hadn't been the bear at all, but a—

A roar jolted him from his thoughts, the sound so immense leaves and branches came falling down from the trees onto his head. In the path ahead jumped a bear, the ground shaking under its heavy weight, sending Naruto to his knees. The bear stacked taller than three men and was just as wide, it had strange orange colored goggles covering its eyes, and its claws gleamed a white so bright it was blinding.

Senji had stumbled off the path into a tree, and Hikari had grabbed Sasuke and disappeared up onto a branch. Naruto was the only one left on the path, and he looked up, alone and terrified, at the animal still licking its previous meal's blood from its lips.

Naruto screamed his throat raw, as the bear took a too-quick dash forward for its height and raised its claws for a killing stroke.

Everything seemed to slow down, Naruto could feel the leaves and branches on his back and tangled in his hair, the dirt pressing hard and grainy against his hands, his muscles stretching as he tried to flatten himself down and cover his head; could feel the scream threatening to rip his throat again. He could see Senji, standing up and darting forward, his sword out and his eyes spinning black and red. Most importantly, he could see the giant claws of the bear, like swords, coming straight for him. It only lasted a moment, and then the scream had come out and he pressed himself down and something hot splashed all over him.

Naruto waited, trembling, a moment more and then lifted his head when the pain didn't come.

Senji had not made a sound when one of the claws, as long and strong as a sword, had broken through his defenses and gone straight through his belly to appear, bloody and glistening, on the other side.

"Senji?" Naruto asked, tears burning at his eyes. "Senji?"

"Run," Senji croaked, his voice still full of calm authority. "Run right now."

"Senji…" Naruto sobbed, pushing himself up, muscles following the order even though his brain hadn't caught up. He ran back to the tree and Hikari appeared to take him up into the branches. It was only then Naruto realized he was leaving Senji to die. "Senji!" he screamed, thrashing. "SENJI!"

Senji was grim and calm, his sword still pushing back against the claws. Somehow, in the split second Naruto had out his head down, Senji had cut off one of the arms and it lay twitching and useless some feet from the body, the stump gushing blood and gore to the ground. The bear, in pain and frustrated at his strength not able to overcome Senji's, threw him against a tree. Senji landed hard, and crumpled on the ground, breath coming hard. In his moment of weakness, the bear stepped on his legs, and even from so high in the trees Naruto could hear the _snap_ as all the bones were broken.

Now Senji screamed, and it was so full of pain that Naruto screamed with him, big tears dropping to the ground. Hikari was trying to turn his head away, but Naruto bit her and she stopped.

The bear, seeming to notice that its opponent was crippled, once again speared Senji with two of its claws. It lifted him, high and broken, and then turned and lumbered off, the ground shaking in its wake.

Naruto went silent, unseeing, unfeeling, and unable to comprehend what had happened. The world was swimming before his eyes, going white. He started to say something, though he didn't know what, and then the world was swallowed up in blackness.

oOo

When Naruto woke, the sun had barely moved in the sky and he could hear Sasuke crying bitterly. He blinked against the hot sun, and for a moment he was confused and sat up asking for Senji, which set Sasuke off into more stuttering sobs.

That made Naruto remember the red claws, the scream, Senji—

He started crying right along with Sasuke, loudly, and after trying to shush them for several minutes Hikari barked: "Quiet! The both of you."

Naruto swallowed his sobs in one big, surprised gulp, and blinked owlishly. Hikari nodded firmly, and pulled them both to their feet. "We'll go back to the inn, go back home, and then see what we can do."

Naruto allowed himself to be pushed for several feet down the path before that sunk in, and then he said, "No."

Hikari pretended she hadn't heard him, and kept dragging him along. Naruto set his heels in. "No!"

"What?" Hikari snapped, turning around. Naruto drew back a bit, shocked by the sharp tone, but stood his ground.

"I'm going after Senji."

"No, you're not," Hikari said firmly, grabbing him by the hand again. He tugged his hand free and backed away.

"I'm not leaving him."

"Yes you ar-"

"Aah!" Sasuke cried, falling to his knees. His hands were around his middle, holding tight, and all the color was bleached from his skin. He was sweating, and breathing hard, and suddenly threw up all over the ground.

Hikari rushed to him immediately, scooping him into her arms and pressing her hand to his stomach. Sasuke caught Naruto's eyes, and Naruto noticed his had a glassy, feverish cast. He nodded, sharply, up the path. Naruto's eyes widened and he took a step back, then another, and when Hikari didn't notice he turned and ran as fast as he could.

His feet churned up dust as he came back to the bloody, destroyed area where the fight had gone on. Big drops of blood led away up the path, and Naruto took off after them.

He only managed about a hundred feet before Hikari caught up and grabbed him, Sasuke held in one arm. He was talking, pushing weakly at her arm, but his voice only came out as a weak wisp and Naruto couldn't understand him. Hikari hauled Naruto up by the waist and took off the other way. Naruto thrashed, screaming.

"No, no, NO! Senji! Senji!"

"Senji is dead!" Hikari yelled. "Do you understand me? He's dead."

Naruto froze, a thousand images throwing themselves into his mind. Senji laughing as Naruto danced; Senji whistling as he did the dishes; Senji singing a low, soothing song after a nightmare; Senji smirking as Naruto tried to whistle and failed; Senji throwing him that first birthday party; Senji coming for him at the swing everyday; Senji, Senji, Senji, Senji, Senji.

Naruto's stomach rebelled, and he threw up. Hikari had to put him down until he stopped, and when she reached for him again he bit at her hand savagely. She pulled it back, surprise etched clearly on her face.

"After all he's done to you!" Hikari yelled. "Still, still you're willing to go after him!"

"Yes!" Naruto yelled back. "He loves me! All he's ever done is take care of me! He saved me from the Uchiha, and the bad Madara man, and-"

"Madara?" Hikari interrupted. "_Madara_ is the mean man? Not Senji?"

"Of course not Senji," Naruto said in surprise. "Why would Senji be a bad man?"

"I can take care of you," she said suddenly, pleadingly, turning the conversation around. "You don't need him. I love you, Naruto."

"I love you too," Naruto forced himself to say. "But that doesn't mean I don't love Senji. I love Senji. I want him back," his voice broke on the last word, and he started to cry. "_Please_ bring him back."

"I can't," Hikari said brokenly. "You don't understand, Naruto. The things he's done… and I've given him second chances. Too many to count! And I just—I _can't._"

"Let us go," Sasuke said hoarsely. "You don't have to, let us go."

"I can't do that either," Hikari argued, shaking her head. "You'll both be killed."

"Better to die with Senji than live without him," Naruto said. Senji would have said the same thing, Naruto was sure. "I couldn't ever find anyone to replace him. Not ever. I'm going, and if you can't save Senji, at least come to save us."

Hikari looked up, eyes swimming with tears, and shook her head. "Naruto-"

"He'll say sorry," Naruto added, begging. "For whatever he's done. He'll say sorry and he'll do whatever you say to make it up to you. I know he will, Hikari-san."

Hikari shook her head frantically. "I-"

"One more chance," Sasuke begged. "Please just one more chance."

Hikari stared down at Sasuke in surprise, and then her eyes softened. "For you, Naruto-kun," she said, kissing his head. "And for you, Sasuke-kun." She kissed his head as well, and the boys sent up a loud cheer. Naurto grabbed her hand and started dragging her back up the path.

"Is he really dead?" Naruto asked anxiously, looking around the demolished clearing.

Hikari stood still, calculating, and then said, "If they didn't go to far… he _might_ still be alive. But I want you two to promise me something."

"What?"

"If he _is_ dead," Hikari said. "You'll come back to Konoha, and live with me."

Naruto chewed on his lip, indecisive. "Is it very important?"

"Yes, very."

"Okay," Naruto promised, and Sasuke muttered the affirmative, head lolling. "Did Sasuke have one of those relapse things?"

"Yes," Hikari said sadly. "Can you make it, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke nodded, very determined, and Hikari wrapped Naruto up in her other arm, running so fast and so suddenly Naruto didn't have time to scream.

Naruto didn't know how she followed the trail when the world moved only in blurs of colors, but he found himself at the very top of the mountain soon enough, descending directly into a blackened crater.

Hikari set them down on a rock, very carefully arranging Sasuke. "Stay here," she ordered, and started walking around a specific spot of the rock, frowning. She clapped her hands together, and turned with a smile. "Okay, this is gonna be fun."

It was _not fun._

Hikari used lengths of coarse rope to attach them to herself, and then hit the spot so hard the rock exploded and came flying out in sharp chips to scratch their faces. She threw herself down into the hole, landing on a metal walkway lit with orange lamps that hurt his eyes. The sound had been deafening, and had apparently echoed through whatever they had burst into, and he could hear roars coming up from beneath them and closing on with either side.

"Shadow clone," Hikari whispered, and two identical versions of herself popped out of thin air and ran down the walkway, Naruto and Sasuke attached. Hikari herself swung under the walkway and, gripping only with the soles of her feet walked along until they came to a stack of heavy wooden boxes that they climbed down.

Naruto and Sasuke tried to stay quiet, and mostly succeeded, not making a noise even when the main part of the underground lair came into view.

It was gigantic, cast into a brilliant glow by the lights and filled to the brim with all sorts of interesting machines. At least ten of the bears had gathered together there, none of them wearing the goggles, and all sitting in a circle very quietly.

Hikari detached the boys and set them on a crate in the back, with only a narrow opening to look through to the room beyond. "Stay here," she whispered, pressing a kunai into his hand. "If something comes for you, run and scream for me."

Naruto nodded obediently, and she disappeared. He pressed his face to the crack, trying to see as best he could. Sasuke propped himself up on one of the crates and simply lay there, breathing hard and hand twitching over his stomach.

A door slammed somewhere and the bears all roared together as a tall man wandered into the harsh light, a white lab-coat splotched with blood and filth covering his narrow shoulders. Everything about the man was narrow and thin and pinched. His nose, his mouth, his eyes, even his hair, and Naruto disliked him on sight.

The assessment was only helped along when he saw Senji was being dragged behind him, leaving spots of blood on the floor.

Naruto was only about ten rows of boxes up, about half the height of the bears, and he could barely see through their bulk once the man entered their circle and they all stood up, swaying.

At first, Naruto thought they were all drunk the way they were weaving about, but then realized it was actually on purpose, almost like some sort of bizarre dance. He fought for glimpses of the proceedings between the fat hides, and he almost got sick again from the few glimpses he got.

Senji had been loaded onto a table and strapped down by heavy metal around his forehead, wrists, waist, ankles, and shoulders. He wore nothing but the barest of clothing, barely a protection of his modesty, and was swathed with heavy white bandages already badly stained with blood.

The bears swayed in front of him again, and he counted the seconds until he could see Senji. _One, two, three—_

And there he was again. But the doctor had cut away the bandages, and now he had taken a knife so sharp it seemed to cut the air and was leaning toward Senji's eyes. Senji was asleep, vulnerable, and without a second thought Naruto screamed, "_NO!_"

The doctor jumped, and the bears stopped their swaying to spin around savagely, their noses testing the air. One of the bears took a step forward, and Naruto saw one of its great eyes fix upon him, yellow and red and cruel.

It roared, choked, and fell, spurting blood from its ruined throat, scrabbling uselessly for the sharp metal circle sticking out. Naruto blinked, and two more of the bears were falling, without a sound, surprise sparkling in their eyes.

Naruto cheered happily, and another three were down. "Go, Hikari!" Naruto shouted. "Yay!"

Hot breath panted on his neck, and Naruto reached over to push Sasuke away when he was met with a wet snout. He bit his lip and turned around slowly.

Crouching on the crates behind them was the one-armed bear, stump cauterized and goggles pushed up on its head. It snarled, showing every one of its very sharp, very yellow teeth.

Naruto hissed, and the bear blinked at him in surprise. He could feel his blood boiling in his veins, and hear his heart pounding fast. His hands were sweaty, his palms tingling, and the perfectly balanced weight of the kunai felt warm and familiar in his fingers.

"_Quickly, and with force,"_ he heard Senji's voice say. It had been his first throwing lesson. _"The kunai is meant to be used as a killing blow, not for a distraction."_

_Roar_ went the bear, and Naruto screamed back at it. The bear used its arm to sweep away crates, and they went tumbling down, down, down, to smash on the floor. Naruto took careful aim, ignoring the arm coming swinging back toward him, and felt the hot metal leave his fingers, singing.

The bear gasped, paw coming up in shock to feel at the kunai protruding from its eyes socket, sunk into its brain. It fell, quickly, and landed hard on the floor below with a _crack_ as its skull opened and its blood came leaking out.

Naruto took a huge breath, only now remembering to fill his lungs. His thoughts were in a whirlwind of happiness and confusion- happiness that the bear was dead, but confusion exactly how it happened.

"Woah," Sasuke said. "That was _awesome._"

Naruto stared down at his hands for a moment, his fingers twitching, and thought, _I'm going to have to get Hikari-san another knife._

"What have you done?"

Naruto looked up, and there was Hikari, decorated in gore, and staring at Naruto.

"Sorry," Naruto said. "I lost your knife."

"He killed the bear!" Sasuke said. "It was so cool!"

Naruto puffed up in pride. Sasuke had never called him 'cool' before. He rather liked it.

"I just—you just-" Hikari said, hands moving in useless circles.

"You could clap," Naruto offered, pride getting the better of him and helping him recover.

Hikari stared at him for a moment, and then shook her head and clapped for him very loudly for a whole ten seconds. Naruto beamed, never having felt happier.

He had killed a _bear._ And not just any bear, but _the_ bear. The thirty foot tall, steroids enhanced, lunatic bear!

Sasuke noticed that Naruto was getting carried away and asked, "Senji?"

The simple question brought Naruto back down to earth in an instant, and he ran forward lightly on the crates to look down at what he could not see was a lab.

Senji was still on the table, but the restraints were gone and he had the bandages wrapped back around his middle. Hikari took the boys down in a single bound and Naruto ran to the table, climbing up and grabbing Senji's hand.

"Senji?" He asked. "Senji? Senji, please wake up. Senji?"

Slowly, achingly slowly, the eyelids pulled up to reveal the normal dark eyes. Senji blinked, confused.

"…Na…ru…to?"

"Senji!" Naruto cried, and Sasuke yelled the same thing, grabbing his other hand.

"Wha…?" Senji asked, trying to raise himself up. Hikari put a hand on his shoulder, pressing him back to the table. "You need to rest," she said firmly.

Senji laid back down, eyes locked on Hikari's face in surprise. "You came."

She shrugged. "They begged. You know I can't resist the eyes."

Senji smiled, just a little, and just as he drifted off again said, "Thanks."

oOo

"How are you feeling?" Naruto asked, fluffing Senji's pillows as best he could while Senji was still laying on them. Senji patted his hand in thanks.

"I'm fine," Senji assured, hiding annoyance.

Naruto fidgeted with the blankets, wondering where Sasuke could be. He had sent the other boy out an hour ago on his errand. How long could it take?

"Where is Sasuke?" Senji asked, right on time.

Naruto shrugged, feigning innocence. "I dunno know."

Senji narrowed his eyes. "Yes you do."

"I'm here!" Sasuke gasped, hobbling into the room. "I'm here."

Senji sat up, pressing his hand against his stomach to staunch the pain. "Sasuke, are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Sasuke panted, dragging himself into a chair. "I ran part of the way," he added proudly.

"You had to," Hikari said drily from the door. She frowned at Senji. "Lay down."

Senji lay down.

"What is the meaning of this?" Senji demanded, waving Hikari toward a chair.

She remained standing, and put a hand a hand on Sasuke's forehead, tsking. He shoved her off, whining that he was _fine._

"Oh," Hikari said, kissing Naruto. "Well, Sasuke showed up at my door, knocking loudly and repeatedly, and of course I opened the door right away. He was smiling like the Cheshire cat, and then he was on and on explaining that I was needed right away and he got so excited he ran right ahead of me. Woosh!" And she snatched Sasuke up and swung him around.

Sasuke and Naruto laughed appreciatively, and Senji sighed.

"Has Kakashi yelled at you yet?" Senji asked.

"Why should he? He doesn't even know me."

"I hate you."

"Mutual. Why was he yelling?"

"It was _his_ mission." Senji said, with a great deal of relish. "Apparently, this guy was a former Cloud nin, mad scientist type trying to create an army of super bears."

Hikari laughed. "That's stupid."

"Yes. Supposedly, they were very hard to kill," he pinned her with a searching look.

She shrugged. "I'm amazing."

Senji kept staring, so she pulled up a chair. "Okay, blow by blow. I threw kunai at sensitive spots and then," she leaned close, "I hit them."

Sasuke and Naruto collapsed into giggles. "_Duh_, Senji!"

Senji frowned at them. "I shouldn't be subjected to this. I'm ill."

The boys sobered immediately and began to fuss, and Senji preened under the attention until Hikari distracted them by pointing out that the windows could open.

"Are you coming back to live with us?" Naruto asked Hikari, opening and closing the window while Sasuke sat on Senji and told him when the breeze was perfect.

"Oh no," Hikari said. "I have to go back to my house now. I'm in the middle of adopting, and I have to get everything ready."

"Who are you adopting?" Sasuke demanded, and Naruto followed him in horror. Hikari was going to be _their_ mom.

"A nice little boy," she answered vaguely. "I'll still come over."

It wasn't the same, and Naruto drooped unhappily.

"Come on," Hikari said, tapping their chins. "I love you more than anything, you know that."

That made it a little better, but not perfect, and Naruto was still pouting until Hikari showed them how to work the bed.

oOo

"No, no, no," Naruto said, pushing Senji back down onto the couch pillows. "I'll get it."

"No, I'll get it," Sasuke said, pressing a glass of pink lemonade into Senji's hands.

"No," Senji said firmly, sitting up with barely a wince. "I'm getting it. Sit."

"But-" both the boys protested, hands fluttering.

"Stay," Senji said firmly, and they sat down on the couch, very put out.

The family had been back in Konoha for two weeks, and Senji had only just gotten out of the hospital two days ago, two days after Sasuke had been released, completely cured. Naruto and Sasuke had been coddling him incessantly, refusing to have Iruka or Kakashi over to help them for any periods of time except meals.

Senji was theirs, and they would take care of him.

Naruto heard the locks click open, and the door swing on its oiled hinges. "Oh," Senji said. "It's you."

Naruto and Sasuke peeked around the corner, to see Hikari standing in the doorway, a big plate steaming in her hands.

"Hi," she said awkwardly. "I brought dinner."

"Yes," Senji said, staring. "You did."

A pale child peeked out from behind Hikari's legs, holding his own plate and looking very curious, Senji blinked down at him.

"Sai," Hikari explained. "Danzo's dead, so I adopted him."

"It is rude to let people stand outside the door when they have brought you dinner," Sai said bluntly, blinking black eyes that matched his hair up at Senji. "Let us in, or we will eat it ourselves."

"Umm…"

"May we come in?" Hikari asked, voice hesitant. "We could… talk. Think about stuff. Consider things."

"Like…?"

"Forgiving some stuff, and beating you up for others."

"Yeah," Senji said, relaxing. "Come on in."

Hikari nodded, smiling only a little, and said, "Okay."

Naruto nodded. It was a start.

oOo

AN: So the giant bears were a bit out there, it's Naruto. Not only do I think it works, I think I'm entitled.

Yeppers.

Well, please review!


	5. Of Attempted Murder and Explanations

AN: And you all thought that I had jumped off the edge of the planet singing 'Free Falling'.

No, I am back again, and with a new chapter! I am sorry I haven't updated, I 'm taking two summer courses and they're keeping me busy. one of them is almost over, so hopefully me free time will actually be free time again soon. in the meantime, thanks for all of the wonderful reviews. You guys have been so helpful in making me strive harder to become a better writer, and I really appreciate it!

Now that we're past the mush, on with the story.

(BTW, these darn page breaks had better work.)

oOo

"It's an acorn."

"It's a charm," Senji corrected, pressing it into both boy's palms and stepping back. "Sasuke, your charm is for calm. Naruto, yours is for patience."

"I'm very patient," Naruto said, bouncing on his toes. "Can I go play now?"

"No," Senji said firmly. "Take your charm-"

"It's an _acorn,_" Sasuke said, poking his.

"Sasuke…"

"But, Senji, it's an _acorn._"

"Pretend," Naruto said, tossing his charm up and down. "I've named my charm Buki. What's yours?"

"I'm not naming an acorn."

Senji sighed, and gently helped the boys tuck their acorns into their pockets. "When you feel the charm, remember what yours stands for, and follow it. They'll also bring you good luck."

"Cool!" Naruto cheered. "Hey, can I go now?"

"Yes," Senji sighed. "You may go and pick out your clothes for school tomorrow."

Naruto groaned and whined, and meanwhile Sasuke stared in utter bewilderment at his charm.

"But—but-" Sasuke floundered. "Senji, it's an _acorn._"

oOo

White lights flashed by him and brief flashes of color flared over his head in vague, blurry shapes that moved and yelled and twisted. His head was fuzzy, stuffed full of cotton and twinkling lights, and all the trains in the world were blaring in his ears. He thrashed, but something held him down. There were more shouts, and Naruto felt panic screaming through his nerve endings.

_Where am I? What's happening? What's going on? Why—_

There was a sting, hands, and then the world ran into black tar and faded away.

oOo

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep…_

Naruto woke up in bits and pieces. At first he heard only his own breathing, whooshing in and out of his lungs in big, heavy gusts that were somehow much harder to draw in than usual. It took them a minute, like his chest wasn't big enough to take everything in at once, and had to pause and wait for a few moments each time to recover.

The next thing was the beeping. A steady _beep, beep, beep_ that almost eclipsed the distant slamming of doors, shoes tapping on tiled floors, and the murmur of quiet voices. He sniffed, and all he could smell was antiseptic covering up some older smell that he couldn't define but didn't like.

_The hospital_, he realized. _I'm in the hospital. Itachi doesn't like the smell either…_

He blinked his eyes open, a little lamp off to the side blinding him. He kept blinking because for some reason blinking felt funny, like his eyelids were gummy weights, and he made an unhappy noise at the discovery.

Gummy eyelids? _Gross._

"Naruto?" came Senji's voice and a big hand on his shoulder. Naruto finally held open his eyes long enough to see Senji bending over him with a smile, and the bed bounced as Sasuke climbed up to stare at him. "Hey, Buddy. How you feeling?"

Naruto tried to answer, but all that came out was a croak. He giggled a little. He sounded like a frog. He liked frogs. Frogs were funny, and they could make their cheeks huge. Naruto could make his cheeks huge too, but the frog had won the contest when he had tried to beat one. Stupid frogs. He hated them.

Senji pressed a straw to his lips, and Naruto took big gulps of funny tasting apple juice that hit his empty stomach and sloshed around.

"What happened?" he asked. "Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" Sasuke asked in shock, bouncing a bit on the bed. It made Naruto's stomach and brain bounce along with him, and that was just very strange. "We were in school, and you stood up to introduce yourself, and the next thing I know you have a kunai sticking out of your chest!"

Naruto remembered now, it had been the very first day. Everybody at school probably thought he was a total loser now. "Is it still there?" Naruto asked excitedly, reaching up to paw at the bandages under his hospital shift to search for the kunai. It made his chest hurt.

Senji gently pulled his hands away and pressed a button on the bed. "Sa-Hikari, he's awake."

"What's that button do?" Naruto asked, intensely curious. "And that one? And, hey, what's this remote for?"

"That one's to call the nurses," Sasuke said, pointing, obviously very pleased to explain something Naruto didn't know about. "And that one's to push to sound a alarm, and the remote moves the bed-"

Naruto made a grab for the remote, but Senji had already moved it out of reach, and the sudden movement made heat tingle in Naruto's chest. He lay back with a gasp, hand pressed hard against his left lung. "_Ow!_"

"I told you not to let him move," Hikari snapped, striding into the room in clipped strides, her white coat swinging behind her. "I swear Senji, one of these days I'm going to string you up as carrion."

"At least the birds will be happy," Senji said mildly, fussing over Naruto. Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke, who grinned. Sasuke had dark half-moons under his eyes that stood out against his pale skin. His hair was messy, his clothes rumpled, and his mouth kept settling into a frown.

Senji didn't look any better. If anything, he looked worse than Sasuke with the slump to his shoulders and the lines around his mouth. Come to think of it, Hikari wasn't looking so hot either.

_I hope they didn't get sick. Sick people are gross._

"Now, Naruto," Hikari said, her hair shining strangely pale in the light. A lighter red than what he remembered. "I'm going to do a quick check-up, okay? You don't have to be awake for it."

"Okay," Naruto said, and yawned. He was suddenly tired, like he had been awake for days, even though he had only been up for five minutes. Hikari smiled, and ran her fingers through his hair.

"You're going to be fine," she assured, and Naruto got the feeling she was saying it more for her than for him, so he just nodded. His eyes were all heavy again. "Go back to sleep."

"I don't wanna sleep," Naruto muttered, snuggling into the covers. "I wanna… I wanna…"

"Go to sleep."

oOo

"How did you get back?"

"Effort of the herculean variety."

"How exactly? This could be _important._ What if somebody followed you? What if they were the ones that attacked Naruto?"

"Nobody followed me."

"How do you know?"

"Woman's intuition. You should really get some, I think it would help your stress levels go way down-"

"Sakura! Stop it. Explain, step by step."

"…I can't."

"You can't."

"I can't."

"_Why?_ Did you make a pact with someone? Sworn yourself to secrecy? Or do you just not want to tell me? Gods woman, I'm trying to help not-"

"I don't remember."

"You—you don't remember. You don't _remember?_"

"I've tried! It's just… The first thing I can remember is Naruto's face. Little one, mind you, sitting at school and working on stuff. Everything before that is blank right up to where you speared Him and disappeared in a big flash of something. I just don't remember."

"So, miraculously, you have no idea how you got here."

"…I have an idea."

"_Which is?_"

"I snapped, went totally insane, and my split personality decided to come out for a playdate that ended with me waking up with blood underneath my fingernails and a grin on my face. You want to know more? I don't know more. So why don't _you_ lay out the process that you just miraculously jumped back in time and we'll swap stories."

"Oh. Well. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. It's really a comfort to know you haven't changed from the egotistical jerk I know is your true nature."

"I apologized."

"I haven't forgiven you."

There was water in his head and ears, and the words were swimming through it in big, long, bright strokes that cut through his head like lightning. Naruto knew who it was talking, Senji's unmistakable ire and Hikari's snappish attitude were more than enough to tell, but they sounded different than usual. More tired, more guarded, and something heavy in both of their tongues.

There was a long pause between the two, and if Naruto had been more awake he might have been worried. As it was, everything was just faded and dreamlike, mere words.

"Any way that I can convince you to forgive me?" Senji asked, "I prefer it when you don't hate me as much."

"I just don't want to talk about it any more," Hikari said. "Let's just focus. So if no one followed me back, which I'm pretty sure they didn't, who else would try to kill Naruto?"

"No one in Konoha. No one would _dare._"

"That's the great thing about you. Everyone always knows where you stand. And who won't be standing if they mess up your structured little world."

"Because your world is so free bird."

"At least I don't count how many toothbrush strokes I use each time and then put them in a _ratio._"

"I- I'm not having this argument."

"Whatever. We'll talk about this later then."

"Sure. Try and come up with possible candidates."

"So we can tie them to a stake and torture them to death?"

"I'll bring the stake."

"Then I call the knives."

"Rope."

"Salt."

"Corkscrews."

"Pliers."

"Matches."

"Oil."

"Tape."

"This could go on forever you know."

Senji sighed, and it was then Naruto realized he was awake and the conversation hadn't been a dream. The drugs they were pumping in him often gave him funny dreams. He had dreamed he was crowned king of celery ice-cream by hypnotized pandas, that he had been engaged to an angelfish princess but didn't know how to swim and missed the wedding, and even had one where he talked to a giant red eyeball floating in a cage. Just _weird._

(Thought there were others that were not as fantastic. Dark ones. The ones where he saw Senji speared on sharp white while his heart pumped out his life onto the ground until he was drained and pale and this time Naruto couldn't do anything but watch as the bear mauled him. Hikari and Sasuke sometimes looked on, sneering, and other times they were killed too. Sometimes, Naruto was the bear, and those were always the dreams he would try to wake up from, but couldn't.)

It was then and there Naruto decided he hated the hospital, and wasn't staying there another minute. Not only weird dreams, but it made the adults talk about funny things too.

"Senji?" Naruto asked, blinking his eyes open to the now familiar hospital room. "Senji, I wanna go home."

Immediately, the adults were hovering over him, stroking his hair and patting his hands. He didn't want that, and he wiggled away from them. They had been petting him all week, and Naruto had been in the hospital long enough. He wanted his bed, with his orange sheets and night cap and fuzzy slippers and stool. He wanted to watch his own T.V. and play ninja with Sasuke and run around. Everything would get better if he could just get home.

"I wanna go home," Naruto pleaded, putting on his biggest eyes. "Please take me home."

Senji looked completely torn, his body going very still and his face smoothing into a mask of calm. Hikari was checking charts, and his heart rate, and anything else she could check while she battled with herself. Naruto kept his eyes on Senji. If Senji decided to take him home, then nothing could stop him.

"I hate it here," Naruto added, purposely not glancing at the small pile of gifts on his table. All of the visits had been nice. The Hokage had stopped by and given him a card and a gigantic stuffed frog the same size as Naruto himself. Kakashi had gotten him the complete first season of Ninja Space Wars and three new kunai, and Iruka-sensei had brought him his missed homework, a box of pencils, and a coloring book attached to a brand new box of crayons.

Sasuke had been kind enough to keep track of all of Naruto's presents, evaluate them, and then explain how Naruto could play with each, and exactly how Sasuke could play with them all too.

"Take me home…"

"Can I?" Senji asked, looking over at Hikari. "I mean, could he?"

"Well," Hikari said slowly. "As long as he took it easy…"

"Yay!" Naruto shouted. "Yay! Yay! Yay! Take me home! Take me home! Take me home! Hah! Do I get my own wheelchair this time? Can we have a wheelchair race?"

"Yeah," Senji said drily, pushing Naruto back down. "Take it easy. We'll do that."

oOo

"I believe this calls for investigation," Sasuke announced, pushing the papers on which they had collected their evidence around the floor. "Sai must be up to something. Have you seen the way he _smiles?_"

"Like a psycho clown," Naruto agreed wholeheartedly. "But how? He doesn't come to school."

"Yeah…" Sasuke muttered. "That reminds me. How's your chest?"

"I am going to have the _coolest_ scar," Naruto said happily, pulling his shirt up to his chin. "I got to take off the big band-aid today too."

"Woah," Sasuke said appreciatively. "All the cool stuff happens to you."

"It wasn't fun in the hospital," Naruto muttered, letting his shirt meet his bellybutton again. "It was boring, and the medicine made my head feel funny, but it was still way cooler than anything you did this week."

"I," Sasuke informed him pompously, his nose going into the air and self-importance carving a smile into his cheek. "Got to spend the night at Hikari's house."

"Nuh-uh!" Naruto yelled, jumping up. "Lucky! What was it like?"

"Oh, not _very_ exciting," Sasuke said, puffing his chest out and studying a spot over Naruto's shoulder. "We just went to the movies, and out to eat, and her house is huge with the biggest T.V. ever. We bought movies and she let me stay up late watching them and eating popcorn. Then I got to build a tent in the living room and sleep in there."

Naruto was aghast. _He_ wanted to go to Hikari's house and do all that stuff too! Sasuke had all the fun.

Jealousy twisted inside Naruto's gut, and the words came out before he could stop them. "It doesn't sound _that_ cool. Being in the hospital is way cooler."

"Is not," Sasuke said, gravely affronted at Naruto's lack of awe. "Hikari's is better."

"No way," Naruto scoffed. "I'll prove it to you. Next time you go to the hospital, _I'll_ go to Hikari's house."

"I would have gone this time if you hadn't jumped up while I was still talking to introduce yourself and started hopping around!"

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "I guess. Hey, was _Sai_ there when you stayed over?"

"No," Sasuke murmured thoughtfully, pulling back. "No, he was somewhere else that night. I don't know where."

"Huh. What food did she have?"

"Everything. You should see her frigerator. She had more sugar than Senji buys in a _month._"

"_Woah…_"

oOo

Naruto sighed; his hand pressed to his chest so he could feel his heart thumping away beneath his fingers and feel the answering pulse in his wrist. His other hand was thrust deep inside his shorts pocket and was playing with his charm, hoping it would help him feel better. Sasuke was outside, running around and playing ninja. Naruto had tried, but it had gotten hard to breathe and his chest had hurt. He had been forced inside by the heat of the sun and the lack of wind in his face to take solace in a glass of lemonade and going to mope all over Senji's cherry wood desk.

"Chest hurt?" Senji asked sympathetically, rubbing Naruto's back after he had crawled on top of and collapsed on top all of the little strips of paper Senji had strewn across the desk. Senji had gotten some new job. It had to do with lots of paper and whispers, and Senji said he had inherited it from Danzo.

"But I thought he was bad?" Naruto had asked confusedly, when Senji had been explaining how he got the job.

"The way he went about things was bad," Senji said. "But some of the things he stopped were worse."

Senji had only been about the job for a few days, but a vacuous expression had replaced his usual sharp one and he had been sleeping badly. Most mornings his eyelids were like hummingbird's wings as he struggled to stay awake after a late night of tossing.

"I couldn't run," Naruto said sadly. "Sasuke can run, but I can't. I want this to go away. The hospital was cool and all, but I'm tired of it."

"Injuries are such a pain," Senji said. "I'm sure you'll be alright in just a few days."

"I wanna be alright _now._"

"Just give it time."

"I bet Sasuke would be better now," Naruto muttered petulantly. Sasuke was good at _everything_ except talking to people. He was horrible at that. "I wish I had only moved my arm when I jumped up."

Senji's muscles turned to stone, and the air around him went stale with horrible anticipation of words unsaid. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Naruto said, rolling over and knocking a cup of brushes off the desk. They landed with a heavy _thonk_ and clatter on the floor. "Sorry. I was in class, right? We were doing those introduction things, I don't know why because we all know each other and junk, and I told Iruka-sensei it was stupid but he said it wasn't of course. I think it's stupid. I mean, why bother introducing yourself if you know everybody and everybody knows you? I-"

"Naruto. Focus with me here. Standing up."

"Oh, right. Uh… Sasuke was being all mumbly, and I wanted my turn, so I jumped up and I guess I may have kind of jumped a little on Sasuke's foot cause he fell over, and then I got hit."

"Naruto, you little _genius_," Senji cried, kissing his forehead. "I've been going in all the wrong direction. The assassin wasn't after _you_, he was after _Sasuke._"

"Oh," said Naruto, quite surprised. "There's an assassin? Should I go tell Sasuke?"

"Yeah, yeah," Senji said, waving him off. "You go tell-"

Senji's face bleached of color, and then he grabbed Naruto around his waist and the wind wailed against Naruto's face for a moment and then they were next to Sasuke, who looked very surprised to see them.

"Senji?" he asked. "What did Naruto do?"

"Hey!" Naruto yelled. He didn't get in trouble _that_ often.

…Well, maybe pretty often.

"Come inside," Senji ordered, and grabbing Sasuke's shoulder hustled them into the house and locked the door.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked, fear lurking somewhere in the dark curtains behind his eyes. "Do we have to go to the bunker again?"

Naruto shuddered. The bunker was below the house, and it was small and dark and used whenever they had to hide. Senji made them practice all the time, just in case. He never closed the door for more than a few seconds, and they had flashlights, but it was still kinda creepy.

"No, we don't have to go to the bunker," Senji assured, drawing the blinds. "I think that person who hurt Naruto is…"

"Here? Does Naruto need to go to the bunker?"

"No!" Naruto snapped. "He's not-"

"Wait, Naruto," Senji ordered. "Sasuke, stay in the hall. I need to talk to Naruto."

"Okay…" Sasuke said, and sank down against the wall. "Do I-"

"Just stay."

Naruto swallowed hard as Senji pulled him over to the desk, and sat him down. His thoughts were buzzing with theories and plans and questions. _I'll bet it's Sai or something and I can take him. I can keep Sasuke safe and then I'll be a better ninja than him and he'll have to give me a cupcake._

"Naruto," Senji said, pulling something out of his desk and fidgeting with it. "I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Can you guess?" Senji asked, raising an eyebrow. Naruto could tell he was stalling, nervous, but answered anyway. He had a pretty good idea.

"You want me to wait until the mean ninja comes and then bite his ankles," Naruto said, nodding sagely.

Senji laughed. "Not exactly."

Naruto deflated. He _wanted_ to bite the mean man.

"Dare to try again?"

"No." Naruto said, bored of the game. "What?" Naruto asked, staring at the funny necklace Senji was holding, showing off in bits and flashes as his hands turned it over and over. It was just a plain white circle. Boring, but it shone in the light and reflected Naruto's face back to him.

"Don't tell Sasuke that he's the one the assassin is after," Senji ordered, putting the necklace around Naruto's neck. "This necklace is like a telephone, if you rub it, just like this, I'll know and can come to you. If you think Sasuke is any danger, you rub it, even if it's a false alarm. And don't tell _anyone_, including Sasuke, that you have it."

"Okay," Naruto said blankly, rubbing his thumb along the disk. It was smooth as water and his thumb slipped over it easy as a skater across ice. "Why can't I tell?"

Senji hesitated, and his fingers tapped on the desk. _Tap, tap, tap, tup, tap, tap, tap, tup._

"He's kind of bait to draw the guy out," Senji said. "I'll tell him he is, of course, I just don't want you to say anything, okay?"

Something didn't sit right in Naruto's heart with that, but Senji's eyes were begging for trust, and Naruto had no choice but to give it. "…Okay, Senji. I promise."

Senji nodded, and hugged him. "Trust me, Naruto."

"I do," Naruto said, but the words tasted hollow.

oOo

Not telling anyone about the necklace and his super-secret-really-important-special-mission-for-Senji was _hard_.

Naruto sighed, his head on his folded arms, knee almost vibrating as he tapped it under the floor beneath his desk. Sasuke was watching him curiously, and Naruto could feel his friend's eyes drilling into his skull.

Sasuke wanted to know what was bothering him, and Naruto couldn't tell, and it had only been _one hour_ since school started.

Naruto's shoulders slumped.

He was going to _die._

"Alright!" Iruka-sensei called, depositing all of his collected papers on the desk. "Time for sparring practice. Line up!"

Naruto shuffled into line and followed the pink-haired angel, also known as Haruno Sakura, out the door and into the practice grounds, lining up against the fence. Sakura was, in Naruto's opinion, the prettiest girl in school and she was also the smartest. Of girls weren't gross, he would like her.

"We're going to do something different today," Iruka-sensei said. Naruto scrubbed at his ear, watching a bird peck at the ground across the yard. "I want you to turn to the person next to you…" a few moments of shuffling and confusion followed, and then Naruto was facing a girl with short, dark hair and pale eyes that stared at him like he was going to eat her. Naruto played along and barred his teeth. Her eyes got wide, and Iruka-sensei swatted his head as he passed. "The person you are facing will be your sparring partner. Find a spot and begin with basic punches and blocking! We'll do that for fifteen minutes, and then learn something new. Ready, begin!"

Naruto sighed, grabbed the girl's hand, and led her over to a grassy spot by a tree. "I'm Naruto," he said, letting go. "What's your name?"

The girl's face was bright red, and her fingers were tapping together really fast. "U-um, I'm H-h-h-h-h-hinat-ta," she stuttered.

"Uh… okay," Naruto said. "Can I just call you Hinata? H-h-h-h-hinat-ta is going to be hard to say every time."

The girl crinkled like a fall leaf, folding in on herself. "Y-y-yes."

"Okay," Naruto said, scratching his chest. His necklace bunched under his fingers. "Hey, have you seen some weird people hanging out around here lately?"

"Um, no?" she said. "Wh-wh-Why?"

"No reason. Just tell me if ya do," Naruto said. "Hey, you wanna start punching first?"

She looked up, her eyes wide. "Okay…" she squeaked.

Naruto barely even had to try to block her teeny-tiny fist.

"No, no, no," Naruto said. "You gotta really try to _hit_ me."

"S-s-s-s-s-sorry," Hinata said, little tears prickling in her eyes. "I-I'm not very g-g-g-good."

"Nope," Naruto said. "But nobody is on their first try. Now," he said, trying to remember what Senji had told him. "Curl up your fingers into a fist."

She did, trembling and soft.

"No, no, no!" Naruto cried, uncurling her fingers. "A fist says you are strong. You must make a strong fist."

"Sorry," Hinata whispered. "I'll try harder."

"Hm…" Naruto said. "I know what you need!"

She looked up at him through big wet lashes, her lip trembling. "A brain?" She asked.

Naruto laughed. "Nah, you already got one. That's how you move and stuff, you know? No. You need a charm."

He started looking for one, searching the grass for a charm like the one Senji had given him when he said Naruto needed more 'patience'. His charm was in his pocket right now, pressed up against his leg. It made him think of the necklace beneath his shirt, and he looked over to Sasuke. He was looking as obstinate as always, so Naruto went back to his search. He found one hiding near the roots of the tree, and held it out to her triumphantly.

She stared. "It's an acorn."

"It's a _charm_," Naruto corrected, pressing it into her hand. "For a strong fist."

She curled her fingers around it, her eyes wide. "Y-y-you're giving it to me?"

"Yup," Naruto said. "Now make your fist! Like this!" He clenched his fingers hard, pumping his arm high into the air. She copied his movements, a little smile on her face.

"Like this?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto said excitedly. "Like that. Now, you hit, and I block."

She kept her fist clenched tight around the charm, and hit.

It actually kind of hurt Naruto's hand, and he grinned. "My turn!" He said happily, and went for her chest.

She forgot to block it and fell on her bottom hard.

Naruto gasped, and looked around, wondering if Iruka-sensei had seen. But no, he was over helping Sasuke, who was absolutely refusing to do _anything_.

_He's in one of those moods_, Naruto thought with a grin.

"Why didn't you block?" He asked, pulling Hinata up. She sniffed.

"I-I would have had to drop my charm," she said.

"You can put it in your pocket," Naruto pointed out. "It'll still work."

"Oh…" she said, eyes wide. "Sorry."

Naruto sighed. "It's okay," he said, feeling very patient and grown up. "You just didn't know. Now do it again."

"Okay…" she said, tucking the charm careful into a pocket and zipping it in.

"I'm gonna hit you now," Naruto added.

She nodded.

He punched hard, and she used the flat of her hand to push it aside. He stared.

"That was cool!" He said. "How'd you do that?"

Hinata blushed. "It's a family technique."

"Hmm…" Naruto said. "I know! I'll teach you punching, you teach me blocking!"

"O-oh, um, okay…"

"Great! Go!" Naruto yelled, and threw his punch.

oOo

Naruto kicked his legs, sitting on one of the crinkly plastic beds in the nurses' office next to Hinata.

"Sorry," Naruto said for the fifteenth time.

Hinata smiled. "It was an accident," she said. "I-i-i-it's okay."

"Okay," Naruto shrugged, pushing the thought of giving Hinata a black eye to the side. "I'm hungry. Do you think you'll be done soon enough that we can go to lunch?"

Hinata's eyes went wide. "Y-You want to go to lunch with me?"

"Sure," Naruto said. "You can sit with me and Sasuke." _If Sasuke doesn't get all Sasuke-ish_, Naruto added silently.

"I _can?_" She asked in awe.

"Keh, _yeah_," Naruto said, and punched her shoulder. "Sasuke'll love you! Since you're quiet and kinda weird, and he's quiet and kinda weird, and you guys can be quiet and kinda weird together! Hey, do you think that's a coming from a clan thing?"

"Maybe?"

"_I_ think so because everybody that comes out of a clan with eye things-" Naruto wiggled his fingers and put them over his eyes to show her. "—are quiet and weird. 'Cept _maybe_ my Senji because he comes out of clan but he won't tell me which one and I think that's kinda weird but he doesn't care but he doesn't care about a lot of things it seems like rain and death and pain and dishes and all that kind of stuff that other people seem to worry about. I mean, he worries about some stuff, like he's really worried whether I get my homework done or not, but other stuff he's just like, psh, I don't care about that. Do you know anybody like that?"

Hinata's eyes were wide and she was staring at him like he had grown a second head. "Uh, I don't know."

"Huh," Naruto said. "Nobody?"

"Um… maybe my fa—"

"Uzumaki!" Snapped a voice, and Naruto turned to the school nurse with a scowl. "What are you doing?"

"I'm talking to Hinata, Mole-face," Naruto said, and stuck out his tongue at the plump, dark-haired woman with swarthy skin and a quite terribly large mole on her left cheek. She turned red at Naruto's words and jabbed a finger out the door.

"Go to lunch!" She shrieked. "Out, out I say!"

"I'm going stupid! Geez…" Naruto muttered. He patted Hinata's hand. "Feel better."

"Out!" Nurse Mole shrieked.

Naruto jumped down from the bed, and knocked a jar full of cotton balls off the desk when he passed.

He ran out the door, laughing when Nurse Mole threw tongue depressors at his back. He skidded around a corner and ran straight into Sasuke.

"I was just coming to get you," Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto's arm and dragging him along. "Hikari came to take us out to lunch!"

And, indeed, there was Hikari striding up to them in her quick, quiet way and laughing. "I see you guys ran into each other. Why were you running, Naruto?"

"I'm running away from Nurse Mole," he confided, glancing over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't armed with more tongue depressors.

"A nasty soul," she agreed. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Naruto said. "But I can't go."

"Oh…" she said, and looked very sad indeed, sinking all the way down so that her arms were wrapped around her knees and she was looking into Naruto's eyes. Sasuke's jaw dropped so far it almost touched the floor. _Not_ want to go out to lunch with Hikari? He was crazy. "Why is that?"

"I promised that weird quiet girl I would sit with her," Naruto explained. "I gave her a black eye you know, and she didn't even cry."

"You gave her a black eye?"

"Not on purpose!"

"Hmm," Hikari said, standing up and smoothing her skirt. "Well, if it's alright with Sasuke, maybe we could bring her with us, hmm?"

"Quiet?" Sasuke asked for reassurance, looking at Naruto.

Naruto locked his mouth and threw away the key.

"Okay," Sasuke allowed. "I guess she can come."

"Great!" Naruto said, and poked his head around the corner. "HEY, HINATA! HIKARI IS TAKING US TO LUNCH! HURRY UP AND COME!"

"You're such a charmer," Hikari said drily, ruffling his hair. "Screaming at girls like that."

"Yeah," Sasuke agreed. "Girls like quiet, broody guys."

"How would you know?"

"Because I have a bunch of girls following me around all the time."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh. They're crazy."

"U-um," a timid voice interrupted. "You-you called for me, N-n-n-naruto-kun?"

"Oh, yeah," Naruto agreed, grabbing Hinata's arm and shoving her forward for inspection. "This is Hinata. That's Hikari, and that's Sasuke."

"H-h-h-h-hello," Hinata squeaked. "Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you to, Sweetheart," Hikari gushed, shaking her hand. "Aren't you just the prettiest little thing?"

Hinata shook her head. "M-m-m-my sist-t-t-er."

"Well," Sasuke said finally. "She's quiet."

Naruto stepped hard on his toes, and Sasuke squawked. "Hey!"

"Hinata is going to be our friend," Naruto said firmly, and there was a clear _anyone have a problem with that?_ Right after.

Sasuke and Hinata shook their heads quickly, and Naruto beamed at them. "Yay! Hey, Hikari, can we get ramen?"

Hikari shook her head with a laugh. "Yeah, we can get ramen. Hurry though, I think I hear Nurse Mole coming."

oOo

Senji was waiting for them outside school that day to walk them home. Naruto was much too busy chattering at Sasuke and Hinata to really notice him until he nearly ran into his legs and was only saved from the disgrace of falling into the dirt on his behind by Senji's big hand on his shoulder.

"Woah there," Senji said. "Haven't I taught you to look where you're going?"

"You might have," Naruto said. "But I probably forgot."

"Or never listened in the first place," Sasuke muttered. "Senji, can we go get sweet ice?"

"I need to do some shopping anyway, so I guess we can," Senji sighed. Senji was not a fan of _anything_ sweet. Naruto just couldn't understand it.

Hinata tapped his arm gently. "I-I have to g-g-g-go," she whispered, and her eyes darted to the side at a boy with a big frown and bandages wrapped around his head. His glare was directed somewhere near Hinata's head, and he was tapping his foot.

"With that mean-looking turd over there?" Naruto asked. "Why can't you come to ice with us?"

Hinata went red in the face and only got out an, "Um!"

"You're Hyuuga Hinata, aren't you?" Senji interrupted, squatting down to her level. "And that's your cousin?"

"Uh-huh," Hinata squeaked.

"He looks ready to go," Senji said. "Maybe we'll see you another time."

Hinata nodded quickly, and bolted over to her frowning cousin, who didn't even wait for her to catch up before taking off.

"Seeennnnjjjjiiii…!" The half whine half wail Naruto emitted was loud enough to have the birds resting on the telephone wires take off with a squawk and a wave of feathers. "I liked her!"

"I know you do," Senji assured him, cleaning out one ear. "But she had to go home with her family."

"We're never going to see her again," Sasuke said practically. "Her family's super strict. I played with her once, but she was a big baby. I told her dad so, and he banished me from his house. Hyuuga's are crazy."

"Because the other clans are so perfectly normal," Senji said, grabbing their hands. "Come on, boys. Let's go."

Naruto frowned and let himself be led away, but he kept glancing back at that corner, and something like hot pepper settled itself deep inside his stomach, just waiting to get out.

oOo

The anger boiling inside his gut didn't have its chance to get out, and eventually simmered down after an hour of shopping and the incomprehensible joy of eating his treat while hitching a ride on Senji's shoulders. Sasuke refused to ride on Senji's shoulders, he thought it made him look like a baby.

Naruto thought shoulder rides to great to give up even if he did look stupid. There was something about having the wind in his hair, and being able to look _down_ instead of up at everything that made him feel important and confident. It helped that he could pull Senji's hair whenever he did something Naruto didn't like.

"Stop it," Senji ordered, rescuing his hair from Naruto's tight grasp after he 'accidentally' ran into a flag.

"I'm just trying to make it stick up like Sasuke's," Naruto lied. "You would look even more alike then."

"Hn," was Senji's response, and a light slap on Naruto's wrist. Naruto let go, pouting at his ruined fun.

"You do look a lot like me," Sasuke said in surprise. Naruto snickered. _He probably just noticed_, he thought in glee. _I win!_

"Oh yes," Naruto said, as if he had known this all his life. "Change the hair and add on a few years and he could… be…"

His jaw dropped. "Senji! You're-"

"Shh!" Senji hissed, slapping a hand over his mouth. "We'll talk about it when we get home, okay?"

Naruto was speechless. Senji was _Sasuke_ from the future, not Itachi. Naruto felt like he had already known that somehow, that it had just been a gentle realization over the months, but to have it said out-loud made it real and here and _now_ and made the whole world tilt.

_Why did he say he was Itachi? Do I have to be nicer to Sasuke now? Will I be stronger than Senji when I grow up because he is Sasuke? I'm so confused…_

Naruto groaned, and flopped over, letting his head dangle near Senji's knees and throwing out his arm to tap Sasuke on the head.

_Fwsh-crunch._

Naruto howled as fire raced through his hand, and Senji had him off his back and into his arms in seconds, holding his arm gently and shepherding Sasuke behind him.

There was a senbon needle sticking out from Naruto's hand, pulsing blood up and around it. Naruto howled again as a sudden burn started tickling his fingers, and kept up his scream as Senji, pale-faced and tight-lipped, raced the boys away to the relative safety of Hikari's house.

oOo

"The senbon caught on the bone, here," Hikari said, poiting at Naruto's middle finger. "The reason it hurt so badly was because they had poisoned it with _Alkaros_. It's rare, and very painful, but I had the antidote."

"We owe Hikari your life," Senji said. "That poison was very bad."

Sasuke nodded solemnly. "They said it was aimed for my brain, but you stopped it, so I guess I owe you my life too. And all this time I thought they were targeting _you_!"

Naruto thought his face was going to split in half his smile was so wide. He had been _poisoned,_ saved by _Hikari_, he had single-handedly saved Sasuke from certain _death_, and he had foiled the bad guy's plan.

"How great is this day?" Naruto cried happily. "I mean, this is great stuff!"

"It is _not_ great stuff!" Senji snapped, hand curling into a fist. "You almost _died_, Naruto. Do you have any idea-" he stopped himself, forcing his tongue under control. "I'm going to go get a drink."

Naruto blinked at his back, thoroughly confused. Why was it okay for Senji to almost kill himself all the time, but not Naruto? And why couldn't Naruto drink when _Senji_ almost died, but Senji could drink when Naruto had a _little_ nick? It was practically gone now anyway. So not fair.

"We are very glad you have recovered your faculties, and that your lungs are in such excellent shape," Sai read from a note card, voice dead pan. Naruto jumped and the hair raised on the back of his neck. He hadn't even known Sai was _in _here. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feelin' pretty good actually," Naruto said. "Real happy."

"That is from the happy juice Hikari-dono squirted into your bloodstream so that you wouldn't be upset," Sai said, glancing up from his card. "It is very sad she has to waste it all on you."

"It's not _wasted_," Sasuke snapped. "Go away, Sai. You're a freak."

Sai blinked owlishly at him, and shrugged. "Okay."

"Sasuke!" Hikari snapped. "That was incredibly mean! Apologize right now, young man."

"But Hikari-dono," Sai interrupted, looking confused. "You told me an apology wasn't worth anything if it is forced, just a pathetic placebo to cover up hatred. I would not want to make Sasuke more pathetic than he already is."

"I am not pathetic!" Sasuke snapped, jumping off the bed.

"You were saved by Naruto twice, and Naruto has the ninja skills of a really loud bear," Sai said. "That is very pathetic."

"Hey," Naruto said. "Bears are pretty scary."

Sasuke was grinding his teeth together. "Like _you_ know anything. You're just Hikari's charity project!"

"Sasuke!" Hikari roared. "Senji get in here now! Sasuke, Sai is not my charity project. I've adopted him, and I love him, and I won't you have you two speaking to each other this way. If you're going to continue, you'll have to leave the room."

"I don't want to be here anyway," Sasuke snarked, and stomped out.

"Sai," Hikari said, rounding on him. "Those were not nice things to say to him."

"I don't want to be nice to him," Sai said calmly. "He killed Danzo-sama. He deserves to die."

oOo

Senji had his head in his hands, and was refusing to look up from his intense study of the floor. Sasuke was curled up on the couch next to Hikari, who had forgiven him for tonight, and pressed tightly against her side. Sai had banished himself to a chair on the other side of the room, and was glaring at Sasuke. Naruto had squeezed up next to Senji as close as he could, and poked him occasionally to make sure he wasn't comatose.

"So," Senji said finally, not looking up. "Danzo's dogs know. Typical."

"It wasn't like you were doing such a great job of keeping it a secret," Hikari said bluntly. "I mean, even the kids knew."

"We live with him," Naruto said. "That's different."

"Hmm," Hikari agreed. "Alright, so spill the beans Senji. You promised all beans would be spilt."

"I did," Senji agreed, raising his head. "I did, at that." He took a deep breath, and let it out very slowly.

"Your intelligence is right, Sai," Senji said. "I am Uchiha Sasuke."

"I _knew_ it," Naruto crowed.

"Shush, Naruto. When I came back here, the future shifted. It means that this is kind of like an alternate reality. That's what I hoped for anyway. In the future, I was kind of…"

"Insane, revenge obsessed, gone to the Dark Side," Hikari supplied.

"Yeah," Senji said. "Thanks. I had left the village and I swore I hated everyone there. Which I did, I think. Naruto, you were rather intent-"

"Obsessed," Hikari said.

"—_intent_ on bringing me back to the village. We fought about it for years, and eventually Naruto and I had a really big fight and I accidentally-" he swallowed hard. "—killed him."

"Oh!" Naruto said in sudden understanding. "This is the bedtime story! I knew I heard it before. Okay. Go ahead."

"You're not upset that he—I—he just admitted to killing you?" Sasuke demanded.

"I'm not dead," Naruto said. "Besides, Senji loves me, and you love me, and it won't happen again. Right?"

Senji looked sick. "I can't believe you're okay with this."

Naruto thought about it, and realized he probably should be upset, but he simply wasn't. It didn't matter to him what Senji had done then, Senji was good _now_, and Sasuke was good _now_. Why should it matter? "Believe it!" He crowed.

Sasuke and Senji both shook their heads in the same motion of disbelief. "But I killed you," they both said, and Hikari nodded in agreement.

Naruto sighed. How had he not noticed they were the same person before? They were both very stupid. "_No._ Senji killed the other Naruto, and you haven't killed me yet, and I don't think you will this time. Right?"

"Of course I'm not going to kill you!" Sasuke snapped.

"See?" Naruto said proudly. "Happy ending!"

"Not quite," Hikari said quietly. "What made you come back?"

Senji blinked. "I had to. It was such a split second decision. One minute… and then the next I was pumping out chakra and everything went hazy. I woke up exactly where I'd been I guess, and made my way to Konoha. I didn't believe it at first, but when I finally accepted it I decided I would watch over Naruto from afar."

"Which really worked out for you."

"You should have _seen_ where he was living," Senji said in disgust. "He literally slept with rats and there was a—woman—next door that was very, very loud."

"I thought she was a hooker," Naruto said in surprise. "Was she really just using her vacuum late at night?"

"You see?" Senji asked, pointing at Naruto. "I felt like a child abuser. Anyway, I thought maybe I'd just buy him a different apartment, but somehow he wound up moving in instead. That's when the Hokage found out about the whole thing."

"I remember that!" Naruto said in surprise. "I thought they were going to feed me to the snake pedo!"

'Snake pedo?' Hikari asked, lips moving soundlessly. Something clicked in her brain, and she fell over herself laughing. "Sna—sna—snake pedo? You named him…" she broke off into peals of laughter, and Senji cracked a smile. The children stared in blatant confusion at the antics.

"To continue," Senji said loudly, over her laughter. "The Massacre was already being planned at that point, and if I had told them I was a surviving Uchiha… I didn't know what they would think. Certainly cause a lot of problems though. Itachi seemed a lot simpler alias."

"So you knew they were all going to be murdered, but you didn't stop it?" Sasuke clarified.

"I tried," Senji said quietly. "Believe me, I tried. But… there were a lot of things to consider. In my universe, we never beat Madara."

_The Evil Man_, Naruto thought, and hissed quietly. Senji patted his head.

"I knew I couldn't beat him then, and he would kill them all with or without my help. I chose the lesser of two evils, and at least made sure Naruto stayed alive."

Sasuke nodded slowly, accepting the excuse for now, but there was still betrayal in the hunched lines of his shoulders.

"It is also when you killed Danzo-sama," Sai hissed, speaking for the first time.

Senji couldn't hide his satisfaction. "Yup."

"You hated him?" Sai asked in surprise. "Why?"

"There was bad blood between us," Senji said. "Very bad."

Sai said nothing to that, and turned his head away.

For the first time it hit Naruto that Danzo had been like Sai's Senji. Naruto couldn't imagine what he would do if _his_ Senji died, and pity welled up in him for the suddenly small boy engulfed by a chair in the corner of the room. No wonder he was messed up.

"After that, Hikari came back to try and kill me," Senji finished, and Naruto jerked his attention back to the conversation. "That's about it."

"Why were you trying to kill him?" Naruto asked, forcing himself to not worry about Sai now.

"I hated him," Hikari said honestly. "You and I were very close friends, and he killed you. He killed my family. He killed my friends. He destroyed my village. I was alone, and it made me crazy, and I blamed it on the person responsible."

"Oh," Naruto said. "That makes sense."

"Yes. The only reason I didn't is because seeing him love and take care of you changed things for me. I-"

"Stop _glaring_ at me," Sasuke snapped suddenly, standing up and stomping over to Sai. "I didn't do it!"

"I kill you and it doesn't happen," Sai said. "I kill you, and Danzo-sama comes back."

"No," Senji said suddenly. "He doesn't. This universe is different now, you kill Sasuke and I'm still here."

Naruto sighed in relief. He didn't want Sasuke to die of course, but to lose _both_ of them? He shuddered at the thought.

Sai looked crushed. "But they said…"

Hikari ushered Sasuke back to the couch and squatted in front of Sai. "Who said, Honey?"

Sai stared at her for a minute. "Why did you adopt me?"

Hikari blinked, forcing herself to switch tracks. "Because I love you," she said honestly.

"Me, or other me?"

"I adopted you because I loved the other you, and I knew I would love this you," she said. "Does that sound too complicated? It sounds complicated, doesn't it? Here, here, let me think of another way to put it. I…"

"No," Sai interrupted, and Naruto stared as what looked like an actual _smile_ crawled up the side of Sai's face. "It's not very complicated at all. You _do_ want me."

Hikari must have seen the smile too, because she hugged Sai so hard and so long he turned blue.

Naruto almost laughed. He looked like a Smurf.

After Sai got his breath back, he sighed. "They are the other members of Danzo's ROOT. They told me that I should give them information on you, and the Uchiha household."

"And what did you tell them?" Senji demanded.

Sai sighed. "Everything. Although I feel quite bad about it now, I assure you."

oOo

Naruto snorted, kicking Sasuke over so that he could better fit on the bed. Sasuke was a hog. He hogged covers, he hogged pillows, and he even hogged the mattress. Sleeping with him was a nightmare.

Sai sat up on the opposite side of the bed, and shoved Sasuke back Naruto's way. "I believe he is spreading out more," he whispered, and Naruto nodded.

"Hold on," he whispered back. He picked up his pillow, fluffed it up a bit, and brought it down with all his might atop Sasuke's head.

Sasuke sat straight up with a yelp, and rubbed at his head. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"You're hoggin' the whole bed," Naruto said. "Trade places with me, so I can shove you easier."

Sasuke grumbled but crawled over Naruto and collapsed on the edge, lapsing back into sleep almost immediately. Sai stared at Naruto, the full moon reflected in his eyes and turning them tarnished silver. Naruto stared back for a moment, blinked, and fell back onto his pillow.

"Do you think you will be in trouble with Uchiha Senji-san?" Sai asked curiously, and Naruto started fidgeting with the blanket simply because Sai wasn't and Naruto felt he _should._ "For saying I had done what I believed to be the best and most logical course of action?"

"Nah," Naruto assured him, patting his hand. "He hates _you_ not _me._"

"Ah," Sai said, not looking at all reassured. "Is there any way to change his feelings?"

Naruto yawned and closed his eyes, snuggling into the covers, and kicking one of Sasuke's legs away. "I'll help you make him breakfast in the morning."

"Should I say thank you now?"

"Yup."

"Oh. Thank you."

"Welcome…"

"…"

"…"

"…Sai?"

"Yes?"

"That staring is really creepy. Go to sleep."

"Oh. Good night, Naruto-kun."

"Night…"

oOo

"I don't think that's edible," Sai said dubiously, and Sasuke was also staring at the syrupy, lumpy mixture with a look of great distress.

"I don't know what that means," Naruto said, stirring vigorously, and grinning as some breakfast splattered on his hair. "But these cookies are gonna be great. Hey, hand me the whip cream."

"It means we can't eat that," Sai said, handing him the big blue tub of cool whip. "It'll make us sick."

"That's silly," Naruto laughed. "Anything with sugar is yummy."

"I'm not sure we should have used half a bag," Sasuke said. "Isn't that too much?"

"Nah," Naruto said. "I've seen the dango place make stuff before, and they use _tons_ of sugar."

"Oh."

"Are we at least going to cook it?" Sai asked.

"Of course!" Naruto snorted. "The microwave will do that."

"Oh," Sai said happily. "Okay."

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Sasuke said, unusually optimistic; "I mean, we got flour, sugar, cinnamon, water, whip cream, _and_ chocolate chips in there. That can't be bad."

"Of course not!" Naruto said, pleased that his plan was working. "Open the microwave!"

"Don't touch that microwave, young man!"

All the boys froze, the very blood in their veins freezing at Hikari's order. She stood in the doorway, hair mussed and dressed in bright blue pajamas with clouds on them. Senji was behind her just a moment later, in his usual pajama bottoms and his hair sticking straight up from his scalp. He sighed.

"I told you," he said. "We should have gotten up when we heard them moving."

"I thought they were getting cereal!" She snapped. "Sai is usually very responsible."

"I'm being very good," Sai informed her haughtily. "I am making breakfast for Senji so as not to incur his wrath."

Naruto was hardly paying attention, his world had slowed to a shining halt at something Hikari had said.

"We?" he asked. "Did you have a sleepover too? Did ya?"

Senji and Hikari froze, Hikari's jaws working silently.

"Ooh…" Sasuke said. "They _did._"

"Do you mean they practiced sexual reproduction?" Sai asked. "…Oh."

"NO!" Hikari exploded. "We were _talking._ And—and how do you even know about that stuff?"

"I read," Sai said.

"I knew it was evil," Naruto muttered, and grabbed the bowl. "Look, we made cookies for breakfast!"

Senji, being a good Senji, looked into the bowl obediently. He blinked several times. "Ah. Well. That is something."

"We put in sugar and flour and chocolate chips and whip cream and water and cinamminamin." Naruto chirped. "We're gonna cook it in the microwave."

"Well, the microwave is really more for heating," Senji said, taking the bowl from him. "And cookies aren't really a breakfast food."

Naruto's eyes widened in dismay, and he could feel something in him shrinking. "You hate it."

"No, no!" Senji said. "It's just that…"

"The usual cookie recipe is usually just a little bit different is all," Hikari said gently, taking the bowl from Senji. "I'll tell you what, how about we put this in the fridge and try to bake it later, and I'll make pancakes for breakfast."

"Oh, okay," Naruto said. "Then do we go to school?"

"School?" Senji asked, and then whipped his head around to check the clock.

"Sh—da—cr—_dang it!_" Senji yelled. "We've gotta get home, shower, dress-"

"You won't have time," Hikari said. "Throw Naruto into my shower, get their stuff, I'll feed them."

"Great, thanks," Senji said, and then he was gone, and Naruto was thrown into the whirlwind of Getting Ready for School.

oOo

Shortly after, he was thrown into the mud-pit of Being _in_ School.

"I'm bored," Naruto whined quietly to Sasuke, whose hand was cramping in his desperation to achieve new academic height.

"Shh," Sasuke said, pencil scribbling with feverish intensity. "This is a quiz!"

"We have time," Naruto said flippantly, balancing his pencil on his finger. Quizzes were boring anyway. Why did he need to know how many inches long a standard kunai was anyway? Besides, anyone could tell length and weight from how it felt in hand.

Naruto glanced around the room, and finally found a semi-familiar blue-black head across the room.

Hinata was scribbling away, her head bent close to her paper and her hand white-knuckled around her pencil. He frowned. Hinata had already been sitting at her desk when he came in, and when he had tried to talk to her she had teared up and shook her head. Sasuke had dragged him to his desk.

"She can't be our friend," he had hissed.

"They said the same thing about you, and we're friends," Naruto had argued.

Sasuke had shaken his head. "We were meant to be," he said. "That doesn't count. And bad things could happen to her."

"Like what?"

"They do something to 'em. I don't know what, but we gotta be careful."

_It isn't fair_, Naruto thought. _When I'm Hokage, I'm going to change that._

"Time!" Iruka-Sensei called. "Bring your papers to the front please."

Naruto glanced down at his and winced. He had written his name, and the rest of the paper was covered with scribbles of him defeating bears, Hyuuga, and Evil Man.

He slid it under Sasuke's paper, and turned around, just in time to have something crinkly pushed into his hand. Hinata nodded to him, and disappeared back to her seat.

Naruto, in a rare show of patience, managed to wait until he got back in his seat before he opened up the paper. He frowned. It was just a bunch of squares, with a few of them on the far left crisscrossed with lines and something scraggly in them. A dark shape was in one of the scraggly parts, and Naruto turned it sideways to try to understand it.

There, written in tiny letters along the outside, was a message. _You told me to look out for strange people_, it said, in very tiny, neat writing.

Sasuke leaned and poked him in the arm. "Pay attention!" he hissed.

Naruto waved him off, nodding, and turned the paper again.

Another poke, "Pay attention!"

"Fine!" Naruto hissed back, and snapped his eyes up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

It was a picture of the classroom.

All the little boxes were desks, the rectangles with lines were windows, and the scraggly things were trees. That meant the dark thing was…

Naruto reached up under his shirt and started rubbing at his necklace frantically. _Come, Senji, come,_ he thought. _Come, Senji, come._

"Naruto?" Iruka asked. "Are you… okay?"

Naruto looked up to see the whole class staring at him, and he was suddenly intensely aware that he had his hand up his shirt and was muttering to himself.

"Uh—I—it… it itches!" he howled. "Sensei! Sensei it itches!"

Sasuke was still just staring at him, so Naruto elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"Ow! Hey, what was—oh. Yeah, Sensei," Sasuke lied quickly. "Naruto was poisoned yesterday. Maybe this is a side effect."

"Yeah, I need to go to the nurse," Naruto agreed.

Iruka snorted. "Naruto get your hand out of your shirt, you're not skipping class again."

Naruto pouted, pretending to be caught, but he kept glancing at the tree outside the window. "Yes, Sensei."

"Sasuke, stop helping Naruto lie."

"Yes, Sensei. Sorry Sensei. It won't happen again Sensei."

"Good. Now, who can tell me service done for our village by the fourth Hokage?"

"What was that about?" Sasuke muttered, stabbing Naruto's stomach with his exceptionally hard elbow.

"One of Them is in the tree outside the window," Naruto whispered. "Hinata saw it."

Sasuke took a peek, and shook his head. "I don't see anybody."

"They're _hiding_. Duh."

"Hmm," Sasuke said doubtfully, but then his eyes got wide as a black blur blew into the tree and another black blur went out the other side. Naruto sighed in relief. Senji would get the guy. Everything would be fine now.

_I'm gonna have to find some way to say thanks to Hinata. She is the most awesome weird girl ever._

oOo

"I'm sure Senji's just out getting the bad guys," Naruto said. "We can walk home without him."

"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked, jumping at shadows. "It's a long way away."

"Sure I'm sure," Naruto chirped, running his fingers along the scarred fence of the academy. Little pink and white star-shaped flowers grew along the cracks underneath, some of their leaves beginning to turn green again as the heat of summer waned into deeper shadows and cool breezes. The sky was just beginning to get that deeper blue of autumn coming down the lane, but it was still only early September, and plenty hot enough to have the boys dodging from shade patch to shade patch so the sun could only wink at them occasionally.

It was the kind of day that made Naruto sure as sure. "Sure I'm sure is sure," he added for Sasuke's benefit, who looked as dubious as the time Naruto had told him anyone could live on ramen for life. (Naruto believed whole-heartedly, he had survived on ramen for _years._)

"If I die, I will haunt you," Sasuke warned him. "Every time a sock goes missing, every bump in the night, every rusty kunai… _it will be me._"

"Yeah, okay," Naruto agreed, already distracted by a cat across the road. It was white with a little bell around its neck, and Naruto had the extreme urge to chase it.

…An urge which could not be resisted.

"Catch that cat!" Naruto yelled, and took off at a dead run. The feline saw him coming, panicked, and took off around the corner.

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled after him, and then broke into a run to catch up. "Naruto! It's just a cat!"

"I'm gonna catch it!" Naruto yelled back. "I'm gonna catch it and it will be mine and I will name it Scamper! And then, I will shove it at Kakashi's nose and he will sneeze!"

"Come! Back!"

"Catch! Up!"

The tail whipped around a corner ahead, and Naruto laughed with glee.

Kakashi would be sneezing for a _month._

oOo

"I—thought—it—went—that—way-" Naruto panted, pointing at the building ahead and leaning heavily on Sasuke for support.

Sasuke was leaning just as much on him, and his panting may have even been harder. "No—more—_chasing_."

"Meow," went the cat, and trotted right up to them and past them, nose in the air. They watched it go, jaws dropped and fingers twitching.

"Did it just-"

"After all-"

"STUPID CAT!" Naruto hollered after it as its tail flicked around a corner, and someone laughed.

"I'll have you know little Sesu is a genius," said the voice, and out from behind the corner behind them stepped a woman with hair so long it almost touched the ground, dyed a bright blue. "I mean, here you are. You're tired, away from anyone that would help, and in a territory you don't know," she said, and her eyes had the same slitted pupils as the cat's. "Did you enjoy the run? Genjutsu are powerful things you know."

Naruto said nothing, staring at her long white hands, tipped in hard claws that winked in the light of the setting sun. He knew who this was. This was one of Them- the ones trying to kill Sasuke and him to bring back Danzo. He swallowed hard, throat tight, and tried to remember to keep calm. Sasuke was keeping calm, reaching slowly for the kunai in his weapons pouch.

"Senji will come for us," he said, the words the first thing he could think of. If he could distract her, maybe Sasuke could get a good hit in. "And he'll kill you."

"Actually, my comrades have been leading him around Konoha most of the day, along with your doctor," she said, pacing forward to tower over him. "We planned more carefully this time, you see." She put two fingers beneath his chin and tilted his face up. "They're not coming. No one is. I made very sure even tiny people couldn't help."

"What did you do with Sai?" Naruto demanded, wishing the boy wasn't homeschooled so he could have dragged him along to school as well and he could be here now, smiling like an idiot. "I don't mind him as much as I used to you know."

"Sai is mine," she snapped, fingers snapping away as she turned to pace, her fingers closing in a loose box that had her claws clicking over and over. "Adopted or not, he's mine, and he serves me. He won't be here to help you."

"We don't need help," Sasuke said, and dug his kunai into the tender flesh of her leg.

She yowled, blood spurting, and then looked down with a sigh. "I _liked_ that leg," she said, and pulled the kunai out in one sharp motion. "You stupid brat."

Sasuke's eyes got wide, and he took a step back. Naruto stepped with him, eyes wide.

"That doesn't look good," came Sai's voice, and the boy walked down the street with a smile on his face, the setting sun setting casting his face in shadow and making his white teeth flash. "Are you alright?"

"Just fine," Cat Lady said happily, licking the blood from the blade in a show of bravado. "Barely a papercut."

The blood from the wound was running down her leg, pooling at her foot and soaking her sandal.

"Sai," Naruto said, desperately. "You have to get out of here! She's-"

"I know who she is," Sai said calmly. "That's why I'm here."

Sasuke's eyes sparkled with anger. "You're _with_ her-"

Sai smiled. "In a way. The painful kind."

And that's when Sai ducked in and stuck a senbon deep into the woman's leg, jerking down sharply. "Please run now," Sai said, skipping away from the lady and standing in front of them. "I am trying to repay that debt you know."

"What-" Naruto started, but Sasuke grabbed his hand and dragged him away, stumbling over the pot-holed ground in his haste. Naruto ran with him, and as they turned the corner of the building he saw a flash and heard a crunch as Sai was batted into a brick wall.

"Hurry," Sasuke hissed, shoving him toward the wall of a big decrepit looking building. "There's a window, get in."

"You first," Naruto whispered stubbornly.

"Naruto-"

"Sasuke."

"_Fine._"

Sasuke laid flat on his stomach and wiggled behind a black trash bag and down. Naruto slipped after him a moment later, and landed with a _thump_ on top of Sasuke.

They scrambled up, and Sasuke dragged him again, his hands sweaty and hot, over to a big boiler in the corner. Naruto gave Sasuke a boost up, and within seconds they were carefully ensconced inside the boiler, pressed into the shadows, barely daring to breathe.

"So this lady is one of the people?" Naruto asked, keeping his voice down to the barest whisper.

Sasuke nodded, though Naruto was just barely able to see it. The other boy was staring out the slatted door of the boiler, watching carefully for any hint of the cat lady. The light was truly fading above now, and the moon had yet to rise. It was very dark down here, and sounds loomed like figures in the dark, loud and terrifying.

"She said she planned more carefully this time," Sasuke whispered back. "So why is she the only one who came?"

Naruto shrugged. "We're only academy students."

"I'm an Uchiha, and you're as good a one, we should not be underestimated."

Naruto shrugged again. "Maybe there are others."

"We should probably shut up."

"Yeah."

They stayed quiet for a long time, and eventually the half moon rose to give them ropes of blue-silver light out across the room. Naruto guessed it was an old factory. There were chains hanging from the ceiling and coiled on the floor, and big machines were hunkered down in the corners like those people Naruto sometimes saw gathered around trashcans, rust gathering on their tilted forms.

"Do you think it's safe yet?" Naruto finally whispered.

"No," Sasuke said, soot smudging across his face. "Shut-up."

Something banged outside, and shutting up seemed like such a good idea that Naruto's teeth clicked when they came together.

"Bo-o-oys!" the lady sing-songed, "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged looks. How dumb did this lady think they were? They were eight and seven (and three quarters) not retarded.

"I've got Sai," the lady called. "And I'll kill him if you don't come out."

Sasuke shook his head at Naruto's terrified glance, and held very still.

"I'll count to three," the lady called. "Actually, Sai will count, won't you?"

"Three is a pathetic number, and I strive for academic achievement," Sai said, voice ringing in the big empty room. "I can count all the way to three-hundred."

_Wow_, Naruto thought. _Three hundred. That's really far._

"You'll stick with three," the lady ordered, and Sai squawked in pain.

Naruto's body was fairly vibrating with the need to help Sai, especially after he had helped them, but Sasuke just kept shaking his head and laid a restraining hand on his arm.

"Okay," Sai agreed, voice tight with pain. "To three then. Negative 123, negative 122, negative 121, negative 120, negative 119…"

The lady laughed. "Such a smart boy," she said. "Are you going to let him die, Sasuke? Just for your own miserable hide? I suppose all Uchiha are cowards in the end."

Sasuke's fingers clenched into a hard fist, but he didn't move. Naruto couldn't take it. How could he just let Sai die? Maybe Sasuke would die too.

"Negative 81, negative 80, negative 79…"

He reached back and quietly grabbed a kunai, Sasuke following suit. Naruto laid a hand on the door, but Sasuke grabbed him and pulled it back, holding up a finger.

Naruto twitched, but forced himself still.

"Negative 20, negative 19, negative 18, negative 17…"

"And Naruto," the lady called, her voice so much closer. He could see a vague shape in the dark, wandering around, and he swallowed hard. She was yards away, like a bloodhound zeroing in. "Everyone hates you, treats you like a pariah. Wouldn't you like to know why?"

Naruto's breath stopped in his lungs. To know? To know why they excluded him and turned him away and had that twist of anger hiding in their eyes? He had always wanted to know, had always had an ache in his gut to understand _why,_ and here it was laid out on a platter to waft in front of his nose.

His breath came out in a rush, and he closed his eyes. It was a trick, it had to be.

"Negative four," Sai counted, and his voice was so close, that Naruto's eyes popped wide open. The inside of the boiler had gone dark, and right outside were the white claws, prying open the door.

Sasuke was already stabbing out with his kunai, cutting her fingers to shreds, great strips of skin and muscle falling to the floor. She didn't seem to notice, one powerful wrench pulling the door right off its rusty hinges. Naruto yelped, and set to stabbing at her himself, but it was no use, and her hand kept coming to wrap around Sasuke's throat. Naruto, desperate, bit her hard, but she shook him off with ease and his head hit the side of the boiler hard.

"You are nothing but trouble," she told him, not bothering to watch as Sasuke turned blue and clawed at her arm. Sai was sitting on the ground, swaying back and forth, blood turning his neck and head dark crimson.

"Zero," he muttered. "One…"

"A nuisance," she added, and Naruto's head was ringing so hard he could barely understand her. "Sasuke may have to die special, but you…"

She pressed her fingers to her lips and a bright flame flickered between them.

"Two."

Naruto was suddenly aware that things _boiled_ in boilers, and screamed.

"Three."

There was a sudden thump, crash, and then fire exploded. Naruto screamed, sure he was being burned alive, but after a few moments without pain, he opened his eyes and blinked. Sasuke was on the ground, coughing hard, pulling the lady's hand off his throat, and Sai had fainted dead away, sprawled across the ground, and there, flames flickering around his head like a halo, was Itachi. Itachi, who had somehow, incredibly, gotten here.

"YOU!" The lady shrieked, the stump where her arm used to be bleeding hard, and her teeth bared in a snarl. "YOU SUPID UCHIHA SCUM!"

"You're killing children, and I'm the scum," Itachi said drily. "Somehow, that doesn't add up."

She howled, and barreled at him. Itachi twisted away, planted his foot in her back, and sent her stumbling into the wall.

"Don't you want to know what happened to your back up?" Itachi asked. "I think their remains should be around here somewhere."

The woman was frothing at the mouth, and when she stood Naruto could see half of her face was charred into a red mess and her hair hanging in black, brittle tendrils from her blackened scalp, flickering in the light.

Light. Naruto looked up, and a big ball of fire was hanging near the roof, casting flickering shadows over the room. It made the lady even more hideous to look at. Lady screeched, the sound like nails on a chalkboard, and Naruto slammed his hands over his ears.

Itachi looked very calm, in the face of the insanity before him, and in a smooth, practiced move threw a kunai from his hand.

It landed right in her throat, her screams cut off mid-howl, and she crumpled to the floor.

Naruto stared, blinked, and then proceeded to puke everywhere.

By the time he was done, Itachi had bandaged Sai's head, had Sasuke in his arms, and was trying to pick up Sai as well.

"Can you walk Naruto?" Itachi asked, and Naruto nodded shakily, climbing down from the boiler's charred innards, soot on his hands and his mouth, and the taste of acid still on his tongue. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

oOo

Naruto was very happily buried into Senji's arms, clinging to his neck tightly, eyes held very wide. Every time he blinked he could see the disgusting remains of the cat lady, her body mutilated and charred and grinning.

He blinked, and winced.

"I am not letting you go ever again," Senji informed him, stroking Naruto's back. "You get in much too much trouble."

Naruto nodded, too tired to agree, his eyes threatening to close again. He forced them wide open again, shaking his head.

"Yes you do. That's why I'm not letting go again until you're twelve, at least."

Naruto couldn't move to respond to that, all of his energy focused on trying to keep his eyes open, his thoughts were a muddled, tangled mess. _Can't let eyes close. Senji would be upset if I scream again. Or Sasuke. Which one is he now? Can't I just keep thinking about him as Senji? Why'd he choose the name Senji anyway? I wonder where Sasuke is. And Sai. And Hikari. It all happened so fast. So fast. The lady and her—I wonder what happened to her cat… No, can't think about this. And, oh, I was supposed to do homework. Sensei's going to be mad at me and…_

_And…_

_And…_

oOo

"So you're Konoha's new spymaster, hmm?" Itachi asked, leaning into the couch cushions. "How did that happen? I thought the Hokage didn't even like you."

"He doesn't," Senji said flippantly. "But I find it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Besides, he can only be Hokage for so long anyway."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, adding a long line of black to his picture, his feet kicking in the air and the rug making patterns on his elbows. "I have to be Hokage someday you know. And Sasuke is going to be my ANBU captain. You can do somethin' too Itachi, if you want."

"You want to be ANBU captain, Sasuke?" Itachi asked in surprise, his fiddling with his funny black and red cloak. "Why?"

Sasuke was paying more attention to his book than anything else, and replied with a vague, "Naruto can't do it right."

"Could too!" Naruto yelled.

"No," Sasuke said haughtily. "You are not quiet at all."

This was very true, and everyone knew, so Naruto didn't bother coming up with a good lie to deny it. "Yeah, well, you're stupid."

"You're stupider."

"You're stupidest."

"_Boys._ What were you saying Itachi?"

"Your new job," Itachi murmured, still looking worriedly at Sasuke. "Hokage."

"Hn," Senji agreed. "I'll tell him once I have it in my fist."

"And you think that will work?"

"I think that'll have to."

"You are a very shrewd man Senji-san."

"I am a very desperate man Itachi-kun," Senji corrected calmly. "More tea?"

"I should be going," Itachi admitted, not moving an inch. "My partner will start to wonder. I've been gone a week."

"And not here even a full day yet. And Sasuke was at school all day."

"Oh!" Naruto cried, bounding up. "Sensei gave me a letter for you, Senji. About my abstinences."

"Your _what?_"

"My abstinences," Naruto said, fingers clamping around the paper stuck in the bottom of his bag. "And my homework."

Senji almost ripped the paper getting it open, and laughed. "Absences', Naruto. That word is absences'."

"That's what I said," Naruto replied, sitting back down with his picture. He wasn't even sure what he was drawing, only that it had a lot of black and red and had lots of weird shapes. Naruto laughed. "Itachi-nii, I drew you! Look!"

"Oh, yes," Itachi agreed, blinking in surprise as the paper was shoved in front of his nose. "Very nice."

Sasuke leaned over to inspect his handiwork, and snorted. "That's not even person shaped."

"It's modern," Naruto informed him. "Like the naked girl Senji has in his room."

"That is not what that picture is of," Senji snapped. "Stop spreading your lies, devil spawn."

"Or what?" Naruto asked, squeezing behind Itachi for protection.

"Or…" Senji said, and then Naruto blinked and he had been swept up into Senji's arms and was being tickled to death. "Tickle torture!"

"NOOO!" Naruto wailed, laughing. "Itachi! Sasuke! Help!"

Senji was merciless, and his fingers danced up Naruto's sides so quickly he didn't have time to defend himself.

But Itachi and Sasuke were laughing too hard to help, and Senji was starting to laugh too, and soon they were all just laughing and laughing until their sides hurt and everything in the world had faded away into a happy oblivion.

oOo

AN: Questions, comments, concerns?

Well, if you would please call the managerial office they can direct you to a story representative that should be able to fully service all of your needs. Only a few short forms of about a hundred pages, and you're on your way to having your very own Q&A session! Thank you so much for you patience, and have a marvelous day.

It doesn't look half as hard to leave a review any more, does it?


	6. Of IceCream and Babysitting

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: Yeah, so I'm still alive! Sorry it took me so long, but I had writer's block, and then when I got over it I didn't write on this. Bad me.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

oOo

"HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO!" Naruto shouted, banging on the ornate gate. "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! I WANNA TALK TO HINAAAAATTTTTAAA-CHAAAAANNNN! HELLLLOOOOOO!"

Sasuke tapped his foot, hands shoved tightly against his ears. "Can't we just-"

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes?" Someone asked with badly veiled patience, opening a hatch out of a curlicue. All Naruto could see of them was a pair of pearl eyes.

He beamed. "I NEED TO TALK TO HINATA-CHAN!"

"I heard you the first time," the person snapped. "Stop yelling."

"WILL YOU LET ME SEE HINATA-CHAN IF I DO?"

"Please," Sasuke added, long-suffering look firmly in place. "Make him shut up."

The hatch snapped shut.

Naruto took a deep, deep breath…

…and the door opened.

"Don't scream," a man with woman's hair said urgently. "You can have five minutes. Hinata-sama is in the garden."

"Thanks!" Naruto said at his normal volume, which was still loud enough to make the guard wince.

Hinata was kneeling in the middle of a patch of flowers, up to her elbows in dirt and green things flying over her head.

"Hi!" Naruto chirped.

Hinata screamed and fell face first into the flowers, wet dirt flying everywhere.

"That went well," Sasuke said drily, helping Hinata up and brushing the dirt off her face. Naruto guiltily helped brush the dirt off her arms, and after a few minutes she started to look a little bit less like a gnome. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Hinata squeaked, trying to get the dirt off her tongue. "You just surprised me. I'm fine."

"Great!" Naruto said. "We just wanted to, um, bring you something. Sasuke, where is it?"

"I thought you had it!"

"Sasuke…"

"Um, what is it?" Hinata asked, using the watering can to get the last of the dirt off.

"We brought you sweet ice," Naruto admitted, face getting hot. "'Cause you missed when we went, and you warned us about that guy in the tree."

"Did that help?" Hinata asked, eyes shining.

"Yeah!" Naruto lied, remembering how Senji had stomped around muttering about a wild goose chase all over town.

"Sure," Sasuke said, staring at his feet, his hands locked behind his back.

"Sasuke-san," Hinata said with a smile. "Show me your hands."

Sasuke winced, and then shoved his hand out.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said curiously. "Why are your hands blue and sticky?"

"I don't know," Sasuke said, trying to not show off his blue tongue.

Hinata's smile grew. "It's okay, Sasuke-kun. Just you guys coming over is good enough for me."

Naruto put two and two together and slapped his hand over his mouth. "Sasuke! You—you _ate…_"

"We'll buy her another one," Sasuke snapped. "Right now. Let's go."

"But we have to go past the mean guard again," Naruto said, wrinkling his nose. "Let's climb the gate!"

"Bad idea," Hinata whispered. "The guards can see everything."

"But-"

"_Everything_."

"Well we gotta get you a sweet ice somehow," Naruto said, wracking his brain for a good idea. "I guess we could make Sasuke puke it up…"

"No!" Hinata said quickly. "I mean, no. That's okay. Maybe just another time…? Y-y-you could help me in the g-g-g-garden now if you wanted."

Naruto did _not_ want to help in the garden.

"Okay," he said, and almost kicked himself. What was he doing? "Sounds like fun!"

"S-s-s-s-"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll help too. What are you doing?"

The guard found them ten minutes later, running around the yard throwing mud at each other and shrieking. Naruto and Sasuke were evicted with prejudice of the worse kind, and Hinata was sent inside to clean up and face a 'talking to'.

"I like her," Naruto decided, and Sasuke nodded in very firm agreement.

oOo

Sasuke was silent as he stared down at the paper, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Naruto peeked over his shoulder and winced.

_Dear Sasuke,_ the letter began, in Itachi's familiar scrawl. _I had to leave pretty quickly because some people were getting suspicious. I'm really sorry I couldn't say good-bye, but I'll write soon._

_Love, Itachi_

_P.S. Good bye, Naruto._

"Well," Naruto said. "I guess we should, um, do our homework or something now. If you want. Or we could go throw kunai or…"

"He had to go," Sasuke said carelessly, throwing the letter in the trash. "Can't be helped. At least he had time to leave us a note. It's not like I'm sad or anything."

"Yeah." Naruto fidgeted with his hands as Sasuke avoided his eyes and got a drink of water. "So… um… Hey look! Senji left us a book of traps! You wanna go try some? I bet they're _awesome_."

"Yeah, okay," Sasuke said.

"Yeah, no," Senji said, materializing behind Naruto and plucking the book from his hand. "This book is not for you."

"Why?" Naruto asked, jumping up to steal it. Senji held it above his head calmly.

"After what you did to Iruka, I'd hate to give you _more_ ideas," Senji said. "Where's Itachi? I think this is his."

"He had ta go," Naruto muttered distractedly. Maybe if he jumped off the table…

Senji 'Hn'ed and the book was gone, and then he finally seemed to notice they were covered in dirt. His brow darkened.

"Outside," he ordered. "We're going to have to use the hose to get all that dirt off you."

Sasuke sighed. "How about the sprinkler?"

oOo

Naruto breathed slowly, shifting his weight to his center, and crouching close to the ground. Sasuke and Senji were watching him critically, eyes following every crook of his finger. He curled in one arm, trying to focus on his entire body at once, and pulled his leg up slowly.

Then he groaned and dropped out of the pose, pouting. "This is so _boring_. Can't I go do something else?"

Sasuke and Senji sighed identical sighs, which made Sasuke blush and Senji shake his head. "This is important for you to learn," Senji said, tapping one foot against leaf-strewn ground in annoyance. "You can't graduate without knowing some basic taijutsu-"

"Can't I punch?" Naruto whined. "Or kick? Just not _this._"

"Tai-chi is _good_ for you."

"So's boobies, but you never go _near_ those."

Senji's ears went pink, and his foot tapped faster. "That is absolutely none of your business young man.

Naruto grinned, and rocked back on his heels. "Are you saying you _do_, Senji? Huh? Are ya?"

"No I am not," Senji said, one hand on his hip. One hand always meant he was being pushed past his tolerance point. "I am saying you need to get back to your lesson."

"Why doesn't _Sasuke_ have to do it?"

"Because I can do it already," Sasuke sniffed. "Dummy. If you'd practice, you'd be able to do it too."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.

"Oh, I've got something special planned for Sasuke," Senji said calmly. "Naruto, if you practice tai-chi for twenty minutes, you can do as many punches and kicks for as long as you like."

"Really?" Naruto asked, eyes sparkling.

"Really," Senji assured him, ruffling his hair. "Now get to it. Sasuke, come to the house with me please."

After ten minutes, Naruto's curiosity about what Sasuke and Senji were doing became too much, and he wandered over to the living room window and peeked in.

Senji and Sasuke were sitting on the floor, a row of kunai in front of them, Sasuke sitting silent and blindfolded. He kept picking kunai up, setting them down, saying something, Senji would say something back, and the frown on Sasuke's face would get deeper.

Without so much as glancing in his direction, Senji made a motion for Naruto to come inside.

"How do you always know I'm there?" Naruto asked, plopping down next to him.

"You make noise," Senji said.

Naruto frowned. He hadn't _thought _he had made a sound.

Stupid Senji, and his stupid oversensitive hearing. This was exactly why Naruto could _never_ get a midnight snack.

"Why don't you make Naruto do this?" Sasuke asked sourly, dropping his current kunai and ripping off the blindfold. "And I'll go do tai-chi."

Senji sighed a little. "Stay, Sasuke. Naruto, put this blindfold on for me."

Naruto held still until his vision was dark, and then Senji pressed a kunai into his hand. "What I want you to do," Senji said, taking the first away and pressing a different one into tiny fingers. "Is tell me which is the best kunai out of the bunch."

"Okay," Naruto said. Senji took away the second, put in a third. It was too heavy. The fourth was too oily. The fifth tipped forward, and the sixth was… he didn't know, wrong was the best word he could think of.

Then the process repeated. First—second—

Naruto kept his fist closed tightly. "This one."

"You're sure?"

"Yep," Naruto said. "The best one out of the rest of them."

Senji removed the blindfold, and balanced the kunai on a fingertip for the boys to observe. "This is an Ari original," he said. "Perfectly balanced and notoriously sharp." He grinned at Naruto. "Good choice."

"How'd you get it?" Sasuke demanded, going red in the face.

Naruto shrugged. "It felt best."

"It _what?_"

"Some ninja have a natural understanding of weapons," Senji lectured. "For those born with the ability to tell a good kunai from a bad one- lucky them; for those of us who don't…" He handed the kunai to Sasuke. "Practice."

Sasuke grimaced, and took the kunai, weighing it in his hand.

"Now for those born with good tai-chi…" Senji smiled. "Lucky us. For those who don't…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Naruto huffed. "Practice."

Senji ruffled his hair. "Good boy."

oOo

"Tai-chi is stupid!" Naruto exploded once they were free. "What idiot invented something so _boring?_"

"The same idiot that didn't grant me with special kunai powers," Sasuke grumped, stomping viciously on an unsuspecting leaf. "This whole thing is stupid!"

"_Yeah_," Naruto agreed. "And he said we're gonna have to do it until we're good! And unless we can be…"

Sasuke grinned in unison with him. "Each other."

oOo

"Very good, Sasuke," Senji said, and Naruto remembered to change his grin to a smirk in the last second. "You've come so far since… half an hour ago."

"What can I say?" Naruto said, his teeth clicking against each other strangely as he tried to get use to Sasuke's mouth. "I'm a genius."

"Uh-huh," Senji said. "And Naruto has really done an excellent job as well. In fact, his form is as good as Sasuke's."

Naruto chuckled nervously. "Really?"

"Mm-hmm. Why don't you take off the blindfold?"

Naruto ripped it off quickly. "I thought we might have to keep going."

"No, no," Senji assured him, reclining back onto the red rug. "You've improved so much, you deserve something special."

"…Really?"

"Oh, yes," Senji said. "Why don't you call Naruto in, and we'll go get some ice-cream."

"Okay!" Naruto cheered, pumping an arm in the air. "Ice-cream! Hey! S—Naruto! Naruto! We're gonna go get ice-cream!"

Senji showered them with praise all the way to the ice-cream stand, and Naruto and Sasuke glanced uneasily at each other the whole way. For some reason, they felt a little bit guilty for deceiving Senji like this.

By the time they got to the ice-cream stand, their stomachs were knotted too tightly too eat.

"Get whatever you want," Senji said encouragingly. "Two scoops, if you like. I know how hard you must have worked to improve so quickly, you deserve it."

Senji _never_ let them have two scoops. It went against all his healthy principles, and was convinced they wouldn't be able to eat it all.

Naruto's stomach sank into his feet.

Senji must be _really_ proud of them.

He risked a glance at Sasuke—who looked really weird, wearing Naruto's own face—and saw he looked positively sick.

Senji just stood there and beamed at them.

"Would you prefer a sundae?"

"Uh," Naruto squeaked. "Just a scoop of chocolate."

"Just one, Sasuke? Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then, how about you, Naruto?"

"Same," Sasuke forced out, unable to meet Senji's eyes.

"Two scoops of chocolate ice-cream it is," Senji said brightly, and ordered. As soon as ice-cream was in hand, he showed them to a booth, and didn't stop smiling at them. "I'm so proud of how quickly you've improved."

Naruto felt like scum. Evil, wicked scum. Evil, wicked scum that Senji was going to be very, very disappointed in.

Sasuke managed a lick of ice-cream, so Naruto forced himself to do the same.

"Is it good?" Senji asked.

It was still stuck somewhere between the lump in Naruto's throat and the guilt on his tongue, so he had no idea.

He forced himself half way through the cone, pacing himself to match Sasuke, when he felt the first little tears on his cheeks. His ice-cream cone fell to the table about the same minute as Sasuke's and then they both just sat in the booth, trying not to wail, with chocolate ice-cream around their mouths and tears on their cheeks.

Senji looked very concerned.

"Are you two alright? Would you prefer to go out to ramen instead?"

_Pop_ went Sasuke's Naruto, and then _pop_ went Naruto's Sasuke, and then they both started garbling out the whole story at once.

"—we just wanted to stop-"

"-we thought if we switched-"

"—we wouldn't have to do it anymore-"

"—and we don't-"

"—but it's _worse_-"

"—and we're so sorry!"

"We'll never do it again!"

"Not ever!"

"Never ever!"

Senji said nothing, hands steepled in front of his face until only his eyes were showing. "So you're telling me," he said, and his voice was a little choked. Naruto imagined it was from tears, and demoted himself from plain scum to the scummiest scum of the whole scum universe. "You switched places to get out of training?"

They nodded, miserable.

"And if I forgive you for pulling such a _heinous-_" here he broke off for a minute to sniffle. "Such a heinous crime, that you'll practice happily?"

Frantic nods.

"Okay," Senji said. "Then I forgive you."

"Just like that?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"Just like that," Senji repeated, dropping his hands. Naruto was gratified to see there weren't any tears.

"Okay!" Naruto cheered, wiping his face. "Then we'll go home and practice right now!"

"Yeah!" Sasuke agreed. "And we'll work really hard-"

"And we'll get really good-"

"And then we'll be as BA as you!"

Senji snorted, and quickly left the shop before any of the old ladies in the corners could smack him for allowing children to use that kind of language.

"You actually had a pretty good idea," Senji said. "But instead of being each other, why don't you _help_ each other?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, shrugged, and decided that Senji's idea would probably work too.

oOo

"Kakashi-san!" Naruto shrieked, throwing himself at a leg. "Are you here to play with us?"

"He's probably not," Sasuke said, grabbing onto the other leg. "Are you?"

Kakashi eye-smiled at them. "Absolutely."

"Yay!"

"_Not._"

"…Boo!"

"That's enough, the lot of you," Senji ordered, tugging them off each other. "Come on, off you hellions, let Kakashi breathe."

Naruto sniffed. "He's _obviously_ breathing still Senji."

"I don't know," Sasuke said, tilting his head to the side. "Beneath the jacket you can't really tell."

Naruto rolled his eyes and cupped his hands around Sasuke's ear. "Sasuke," he whispered. "He's a zombie. That's why he has funny hair! It's rude to tell zombies they're not alive."

"He's not a-"

"Shh! Saying what they are is rude too!"

Sasuke frowned at him. "That's stupid."

Naruto was hurt. "But you're the one that told me so!"

"Oh," Sasuke scratched self-consciously at his neck. "Well, I kind of lied."

"You _what?_"

"I lied."

"Then how do I know you're not lying now?"

"You _don't._"

Kakashi was looking at them like they were a couple of irritating bugs, and turned a pleading eye on Senji. "Do I have to?"

"You said you would," Senji replied, popping open the secret compartment in the living room wall and pulling out his sword.

"I _lied._ I can't do this."

"Iruka will help you," Senji said distractedly. "Naruto, where did I put my other shoe?"

"The same place you put the paper saying you would take me with you," Naruto replied promptly.

"You already know I can't."

"_Please._"

"Can't you at least tell us where you're going?" Sasuke begged, abandoning Kakashi's leg to clutch at Senji's. "We'd be better if we knew that."

"And if we knew when you were coming back," Naruto added, grabbing a big hand. "That would make us be better too."

Senji sighed, and crouched down to hug them both tightly. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You'll have fun with Kakashi. He can show you all sorts of new moves, and you'll barely even notice I'm gone. You have school all week."

"But who will pack out lunches?" Naruto asked, following Senji around the house. "And cook breakfast? And _dinner?_"

"And who will know how to make Naruto do his homework? And make me stop doing homework? And how will Itachi get us his letters?"

"Iruka will do all that after Kakashi foists you off on him," Senji said reassuringly, saving his shoe from underneath Naruto's bed. "I'll only be gone a few days."

"Can't we stay with Hikari?"

"Hikari's busy this week, Sasuke. Maybe some other time."

Sasuke pouted. "Won't you at least send us a postcard?"

"Oh," Senji grunted, scooping them into his arms and wiggling into his shoe. "Two postcards. One for each of you."

Naruto locked his arms around Senji's neck. "Do you _have_ to go?"

"Yes, I do," Senji said calmly. "Now I have to get going. Off."

They clung more tightly, and he peeled them off and dropped them on the couch.

"Be good!" He called, and disappeared out the door.

Kakashi sighed, looked at them unhappily, and sighed again. "Come on," he said. "Let's go foist you onto Iruka."

oOo

AN: Please review!


	7. Of Foisting and Doughnuts

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

AN: Gasp! I updated! I know that the chapter isn't as long as usual, but I decided to post it anyway. :)

oOo

"Hi!" Naruto greeted cheerfully. "We're here to be foisted!"

Iruka looked between a smiling Kakashi, a brooding Sasuke, and a beaming Naruto, and desperately fought the urge to slam the door in their faces.

Instead, he said: "No foisting allowed after-" he checked the time. "Five o' clock."

"Ooh!" Naruto squealed, squeezing in past Iruka's legs. "Is that movie good?"

Sasuke managed to squeeze between the doorjamb and Iruka's knee a second later, plopping down next to Naruto, and Kakashi proceeded to exude smugness.

"Oh no," Iruka said, grabbing Kakashi before he could disappear. "You're staying to help me."

"I would, I'm just not sure I'm ready for that step. Moving in is such a big move in a relationship and, golly, what will the neighbors think?"

Iruka hissed something that sounded derogatory and all but kicked him into the living room. Naruto rolled over and grinned at them both, barely paying attention to Independence Day parading across the screen. Sasuke was watching with wide eyes. "Can we have popcorn?"

"Sure," Iruka said, lunging at the T.V. and switching it off. "But we have to watch a different movie. Pick one out while… _Kakashi_ makes you some popcorn."

"Busy," Kakashi replied, eyes glued to a book. "Porn."

"What _is_ porn?" Naruto demanded, trying to climb over Kakashi's arm to see.

"I will never speak to you again if you let him see or tell him!" Iruka threatened from the kitchen over the sound of popcorn. "Naruto! Help Sasuke pick a movie."

Naruto pouted and slid back to the floor, collapsing next to Sasuke as he dutifully studied all of the colored boxes and put them in piles of 'No', 'Yes', and 'Maybe'.

"This is going to be boring," he informed him quietly.

Sasuke nodded, reading something called Hook. "It's always worse when Senji's not around."

"I think it's so cool that you're Senji," Naruto said rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. "Except, you know, younger."

"I'm not," Sasuke said, not looking away from the box. "We're practically different people."

"But you're going to grow up to be him."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are. That's why-"

Sasuke smacked him over the head with the DVD case. "Stop saying that! I'm not!"

"Kakashi! Do something!" Iruka called from the kitchen as Naruto rubbed at his head.

"Stop, sit, bad children," Kakashi said, eye trained on his book.

"Why are you so mad?" Naruto demanded. "Senji's awesome!"

"He came back so I _wouldn't_ be like him," Sasuke snapped. "Because he went psycho and killed you!"

"Well, it wasn't _technically_ me…"

"I don't care who you thought you were!" Sasuke all but yelled, jumping to his feet. "I'm not doing it, so stop saying it!"

"I'll say what I want!" Naruto shouted back, springing to his feet. "I love Senji!"

"Well I'm not him!"

"That's what I _said!_"

"No, you said I was going to be him!"

"You are!"

"No. I'm. Not!"

"But-"

"Senji is a stupid murderer!" Sasuke yelled. "And I'm not going to be him!"

Naruto's jaw dropped. Senji? His Senji? A _murderer?_

"You take that back!" Naruto roared, jumping at him.

"No!"

Kakashi intervened, dragging them apart and holding them away from each other. "Iruka! Assistance with the children now!"

Naruto barely noticed Iruka trying to talk him down, he was much too busy trying to claw Sasuke's eyes out. _His_ Senji. And _Sasuke—_

Sasuke was snapping his teeth at Kakashi's hand as he tried to get him to let go, but Kakashi looked unimpressed, carrying him off into another room.

"Stupid head!" Naruto shouted after him.

"Loser!" Sasuke shouted back.

Then Kakashi slammed the door, Iruka had set him down on the couch, and Naruto burst into tears.

oOo

Sometime during the night, Naruto woke up and, pulling the blanket with him, slipped off the couch and down the hallway. He only had a mild heart-attack when he found Sasuke sneaking from the other way, and they both silently sank down against opposing walls somewhere in the middle.

"I… didn't really mean it," Sasuke said. "I just don't want to do what he did."

"That might not be a bad thing," Naruto muttered, snuggling deeper into his blanket. "You guys are pretty different, you know. That's not bad, I guess."

"Yeah," Sasuke agreed.

"Yeah. …We never got to watch our movie."

"I left it out, on the top of the T.V.."

"Oh. You wanna watch it?"

"Only if we never talk about this again."

Naruto laughed. "Okay. That sounds good. You're too moody to be like Senji anyway."

"He's still pretty awesome though," Sasuke said thoughtfully. "Itachi said he probably saved his sanity or something."

"That's cool."

"Yeah."

"What movie is it?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's called Hook."

"Sounds cool," Naruto said, deeming to share his blanket.

Sasuke smiled a little bit. "Not as cool as that other movie."

"I know! With the 'splosions!"

"And the spaceship!"

"And the—the _guy!_"

"Yeah, the guy was awesome."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, and let Sasuke share his pillow too.

oOo

"Naruto," said a young voice, and a small hand shook him. "Naruto, wake up. I am in desperate need of speaking with you."

"Five more minutes," Naruto snuffled, and rolled over.

Somebody punched him, and he sat up with a yowl, tumbling off the couch. Sai smiled at him.

"Oh good," he said. "You're up."

"Well I am _now,_" Naruto snapped, untangling himself from the blanket. Sasuke opened bleary eyes to see what the commotion was about, blinked, and laid his head back down.

"I am in the middle of a conundrum," Sai said. "And require your assistance."

"You just punched me," Naruto said. "So you have to use small words."

"Okay," Sai said agreeably. "Hikari is missing."

Sasuke's head shot up and Naruto's eyes went wide. "What?" They both yelped.

"Missing," Sai repeated. "Gone, she has not returned, disappeared, evaporated, vanished, all of the above."

"When?" Sasuke demanded, not looking half as certain as his voice sounded with his hair sticking up in six directions.

"I would say a week ago," Sai said. "By my calculations."

"But I saw her Friday!" Naruto protested. "It's only Monday now!"

"Yes," Sai said, trotted over to the side of the couch, picked up a bag, and set it down in front of them. "That was an imposter. The imposter's head is in the bag," he added helpfully, and Naruto went green.

_Eww… Why is he carrying that around with him?_

"What is going on in here?" Iruka demanded, yawning.

Sasuke and Sai ignored him. "How did you know?"

"Hikari-san does not eat toast," Sai said primly. "Ever. She wouldn't feed toast to her worst enemy, and the imposter was munching away on it this morning. Other clues were also given. The imposter didn't wash its hands near often enough, or use the right kind of lotion, and it was just… not Hikari-san."

Sasuke unzipped the bag, turned green, and zipped it back up. "Yeah, that's definitely not Hikari-san."

"What in the-" Iruka demanded, snatching the bag. "What is in… Oh my-"

The door opened with a _bang_ loud enough to make them all jump. "I brought doughnuts!" Kakashi sing-songed, all but skipping into the apartment, "I knew this kids things couldn't be so hard… What?"

"Sai brought over a dead man's head!" Naruto shrieked. "It's in the bag! And Hikari-san has been stolen! And Senji—ah! _Senji._"

"I wonder if this is where he was going," Sasuke said, ignoring Iruka's attempts to make him sit down.

"He might need our help!" Naruto cried. "You'll help us, won't you Kakashi-san?"

"Well," Kakashi said, examining the head. "I'll certainly have to. He is a member of Konoha and-"

"I already have a bag packed," Sai said brightly.

"No!" Iruka finally snapped. "No, no, no. Sit! All of you. Sit!"

They all sat.

"You," Iruka said, jabbing his finger at Kakashi. "Are no longer a member of ANBU, so this is out of your jurisdiction."

"You're a member of-" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Naruto, hush."

"Yes, Sensei. Sorry, Sensei."

"You," Iruka's finger switched to Sai, who went cross-eyed. "Are eight years old, have already discovered something is wrong, and have no business going anywhere."

"And you two!" The finger snapped to them, and Naruto jumped. "Are absolutely not going on another hare-brained adventure. You. Are. _Eight._ That's too young to be going on missions!"

"I was going on missions at eight," Kakashi said.

"My point exactly!"

"Well," Kakashi said slowly, the only brave enough to speak, despite the fact that he wasn't exactly looking at Iruka. "What if you went with us?"

"You're not going at all!"

"Please," Kakashi scoffed. "Last time, you were attached to a ceiling. These children will _find_ a way to come. This way, I can track them, they can tell the difference, and _you_ can keep them out of harm's way."

Naruto thought that all sounded very reasonable.

"They have school," Iruka scolded.

"Iruka," Kakashi said firmly. "The kids are messed up, their families are messed up, but these _are_ their parents we're talking about. I think that's important enough to miss school for."

Sensei looked like he was going to explode any second, so Naruto did what he had to do. He slipped off the couch, grabbed his Sensei's hand, and made himself think of cold, spoiled ramen.

Tears came to his eyes.

"Sensei," he begged. "Please. He's my Senji. He's my Dad. And… Sensei, _please_, you're the only other adult that's been nice to me 'sides Kakashi. And he's not that nice. _Please_, Sensei."

Iruka seemed a little speechless, and Naruto turned up the waterworks a notch.

He crumbled.

"_Fine,_" he said. "I'll help."

"Yay!" Naruto cheered, tears disappearing in an instant.

"_If,_" Iruka continued. "You can get the Hokage's permission."

Naruto squared his shoulders, and traded nods with Sasuke and Sai. "Kakashi," he ordered. "Bring the doughnuts."

oOo

"Hi," Naruto said sweetly, clambering onto the Old Man's lap and looking up at him from beneath his lashes. "I brought you doughnuts."

"Well," Old Man said in surprise, taking the box slowly. "Thank you."

Naruto just kept smiling at him. "Eat one!"

Old Man glanced warily down at the box, at Naruto's over-bright smile, and felt the wiggling of suspicion. "What do you want?"

Naruto scowled. "Oh, I see how it is," he said, jumping down from the Old Man's lap and stomping to the door. "I can't come to see you without wanting something anymore, huh? _Fine._ I'm not sharing my doughnuts with you _ever again._"

"Now, now," Old Man chuckled, showing him to a chair. "No need to get upset, Naruto."

"Well," Naruto said, kicking his feet. "…I'll forgive you if I can have a doughnut too."

Old Man smiled around his pipe, opened the box, kindly pretended not to notice the suspicious _lack_ of doughnuts, and pulled out two. "There you are."

"Thanks," Naruto said, licking at the sugar. "Can I play with your crystal ball?"

"Absolutely not."

"_Why?_"

"Because I said no."

"That's not a very good reason," Naruto muttered, and kicked at his chair. He licked up more sugar to hide the grin on his face when Old Man finally took a big bite of his doughnut. "Iruka-sensei is going to take us on a field trip!" he said brightly. "Right outside Konoha's walls to see some big something-or-other."

"Really?" Old Man asked, taking another bite. "I don't remember authorizing that."

Naruto shrugged, trying desperately to look clueless. Kakashi had said the stuff in the doughnut was supposed to work quickly… "But, you just did!"

"Did I?"

"Uh, _yeah._"

"Oh," Old Man murmured, looking confused. "Have fun?"

"I will," Naruto promised. "But I need you to sign the permission slip to say I can go." He pushed the pen and paper in Old Man's knobbly hand.

His signature was a bit awkward, but it worked just fine.

Naruto felt mildly bad about his lying, but it had taken so long for Kakashi to teach him his lines that he felt rather proud too. "Thanks!"

"Of course," Old Man said, eyes a little glazed. "Goodbye, Naruto."

Naruto took away the rest of the doughnut, dropped the whole thing in the trashcan, and headed for the door. "Bye, 'Kage-sama!"

oOo

"Did he go for it?" Sasuke demanded as soon as he got back.

Naruto pulled out the paper with a flourish, and Iruka looked sick. "We just poisoned our Hokage," he moaned. "We're _traitors._"

"No," Sai said assuringly, as Kakashi patted Naruto's head. Naruto beamed. "We're just… well, yeah, I guess we are. But," he added, when Iruka started to look panicked. "We're _loyal_ traitors."

Kakashi snorted. "_Yeah._ And it wasn't poison _per say_. Just a little… help for him to sleep in his old age."

Sasuke was starting to look sick too. "Do you think he'll _kill_ us?"

"Nah," Naruto said, obligingly strapping on a backpack. "He'll just be impressed we're so sneaky. Like ninja's supposed to be! So," he turned to Kakashi. "Which way?"

oOo

Fifteen minutes in, Naruto didn't care whether they found Senji or not, he was too tired to go on. He had been falling farther and farther behind, each step seeming like a lifetime. Everything kept going dark, and then light again, and then dark again…

"Naruwo?" Someone asked. "Whee appen? You osaa?"

His limbs felt like lead, everything about him exhausted. There was a sudden, stinging pain in his cheek, and it shocked him just awake enough to get a good look at Kakashi's eye. "Did you eat a doughnut?" he asked, voice hard.

It was too much effort to speak, so Naruto just shook his head. More pain. "Naruto! Did you eat a doughnut?"

"No," Naruto said, tongue thick in his mouth. "Licked off some sugar… so he wouldn't be 'spicious… Tired…"

"He'll be fine," Kakashi was saying, but it sounded like his voice was coming from far away. "A few hours…"

Everything went dark.

oOo

Naruto woke up to the sound of soft voices and heat on his face. He was laying on something crunchy but soft, and his head felt like it was packed full of mud.

"Wha's goin' on?" He demanded, sitting up. The heat had been a campfire, the soft voices Kakashi, Iruka, Sasuke, and Sai, and almost all of them smiled when he rubbed the sand out of his eyes and stared at them.

"We just stopped for the night," Iruka-sensei explained, pressing a canteen of water into his hand. The water tasted funny, like metal. "One of Kakashi's dogs caught onto Kinazawa-san's trail."

"Oh," Naruto muttered, and took another long sip of water. "That's good. How far?"

Iruka looked to Kakashi. "A couple days," Kakashi offered, shrugging a little. "Depends on if we lose the trail or not, and where they're going. How fast they're travelling… It could be a while."

"We're getting close," Sai said confidently. "We'll find them soon."

Naruto beamed at Sai, but Sasuke shook his head. "That's stupid. It'll probably take a really long time. Senji's good."

Naruto thought about that, and had to agree. "Yeah, but maybe Hikari isn't!"

"She is," Sai said simply, and wrapped himself up in a blanket. "Good night."

"But—but I just woke up!" Naruto protested as Sasuke wrapped up in a blanket as well and curled up. "_Hey!_"

"Why don't you keep the first watch with me?" Iruka-sensei offered, pressing something that smelled like plastic and carbs into his hand. "You can keep me awake."

"I can do it all by myself!" Naruto declared immediately. "I could, Sensei! I know I could!"

"Of course you could," Sensei said, as if the very idea of Naruto being incapable had never occurred to him. "But we always take the watch in twos."

Naruto had never heard of that before. "Really?"

"Really."

He turned to Kakashi. "Really?"

Kakashi rolled his eye. "Sure."

"Okay then," Naruto said, and held out his hand. "Do I get a kunai? Huh? Do I?"

Sensei sighed, and handed him one that wasn't quite as sharp as the others. "Alright. Now, come sit over here with me."

Naruto sat down on the proffered log without fuss, and began talking immediately. "Okay! Hey, Sensei, did I tell you about how Hokage-sama fell for the donut trick?"

"No, and try to keep your voice down!"

"Oi! Iruka! Shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

"First warning, Kakashi!"

"My bad, Sensei."

Naruto stepped hard on Sensei's foot to remind him he was there, and beamed when he was gifted with sudden and undivided attention.

"So I came in," he began, ignoring the way Sensei was turning red. "And I was acting all cute and babyish—even though I'm not a baby anymore—and he got all misty and nice and junk. Then I used my mind powers to make him take a bite of donut n' he started to get all slurry and sleepy, kind of like what you're doing but his eyelids kept twitching, and the he signed the paper—I was right, you don't have to have nice hand writing to be a Kage so _hah_—and then I skipped back out! I acted like nothing had happened at all and I was awesome and you know who else is awesome? Senji. Senji is really awesome. Senji can make lightning come out of the sky! Can you believe that? One day, I'm going to make lightning come out of the sky too, and it's going to blow up all the homework in Konoha! Won't that be great, Sensei? It will, because then you won't have to spend so much time putting all those funny squiggles on mine and Sensei—Sensei? Hey, Sensei!"

Naruto shook Iruka's shoulder hard, and the man woke up with a start. "Buwah?"

"No," Naruto corrected, sitting back. "No 'buwah'. An 'I'm sorry I fell asleep _when you were talking_ Naruto' will be okay. Where was I?"

Iruka rubbed at his eyes, head bobbing. "Uh… mind powers?"

"Right. Mind powers. Hey! That was forever ago!"

"Sorry, Naruto," Sensei muttered, swaying. "I'm just so tired…"

Naruto poked him in the chest, and he fell over, already dead asleep.

"Huh," Naruto grumped. "Weird."

Everything was quiet for a while after that. Naruto mostly just sat on the log and entertained himself by throwing the kunai at a nearby tree. Its rhythmic _thump… thump… thump…_ steady and comforting. The moon was swollen and heavy in the sky, barely seen between the tall, thick trees and it was quiet. He couldn't even hear any insects chirping, or animals moving through the grass.

He frowned. There were always noises in the forest, so why…

"KAKASHI!" Naruto howled. "KAKASHI, WAKE UP!"

He ran back to the clearing, feet stumbling over hidden forest floor in the dark, when a net dropped over his head, something hit him in the back of his head.

His only thought before the world went dark was: _Why is it always __**us?**_

oOo

AN: More coming. Probably soon. Please review!


	8. Of Prisons and Lover's Quarrels

Disclaimer: Just add salt to the wallet why don't ya...

AN: Look! It's getting closer, and closer, and closer... and then it ends. No, this is not the last chapter, as I think I promised, becasue I've just gotten over some major writer's block concerning this story and felt bad about that cliffy last time. Therefore: THIS was posted.

Dun, dun, dun!

Also, a quick warning! Some gore. Just a little.

Please enjoy.

oOo

Naruto woke, for the second time in what seemed the same amount of hours, with a head full of mud.

He groaned, and then groaned more loudly when there was no immediate response.

"Shh," someone hissed, voice soft and right next to his ear. "This is an escape in progress."

"Huh?" Naruto said, blinking his eyes open. He was in a long stone corridor, high windows letting in streams of buttery yellow light, tucked under one long arm. "Where are we?"

"Shh!"

Naruto knew that 'Shh!'.

"Senji!" he squawked, and wiggled until he was hugging a torso. "Hi! I missed you!"

"I missed you too," Senji whispered. "But you have to be _quiet_."

"Oh," Naruto said in a very reasonable tone in his opinion, but Senji winced. "Okay. What's going on?"

"Sakura was captured-"

"Who?"

"Hikari."

"Okay, you can continue."

"…Thanks. Captured by some very interesting people. She came back in time with their help, and she kind of missed the clean-up."

"Huh?"

"She killed a lot of them but missed a few."

"Why?"

"'Cause she's a loser. Now be quiet."

"But what about-"

"Now is the time when you _really_ have to be quiet, Naruto."

"Fine," Naruto grumped, and entertained himself by poking at Senji's cheek and watching his eye twitch in restrained annoyance.

Senji snuck down the hall, hugging walls and shadows, eyes constantly on the dart. Naruto clung to him like a limpet, paying about as much attention to the uniform hall as he did to his schoolwork, and composed nonsense songs in his head for later performance- hopefully in front of a captive audience.

They were nearing the end of the hallway now, the stark gray walls fading into the shadow of a corner.

_Bzz!_ Naruto jumped as all of his nerve endings fizzed in sudden excitement, making red swim in front of his eyes and his palms sweat.

"What was _that_?" Naruto demanded in a whisper to Senji. Senji looked down at him as if he had just realized Naruto may indeed have left half his sanity hidden inside his pillow.

"What was what?" he asked.

"_That_," Naruto gesticulated wildly to show what he meant.

Senji just shook his head at him. "I have no idea. But we need to be quiet."

"But I've already been-"

"Shh!"

Naruto made a face, but did indeed shush. At least until he realized Senji had somehow turned around and was walking back down the hall instead of turning the corner.

He tugged on his sleeve. "Senji! Senji, why did you turn around?"

"I didn't," Senji assured him. "We just turned that corner."

_I've gone nuts_, Naruto decided, pouting. _I always thought being crazy would be so much more fun than this. With crazy hair and big laughs and being able to jump off of buildings and—why do they all have crazy hair? Maybe their brains are so big it pushes it off. Sasuke's hair stands up to, so that's probably it and Senji has crazy hair so… But, wait, Hikari doesn't have crazy hair and she knows __**everything.**_

_Bzz!_ Went the electricity and the light, and Senji was all turned around again.

Naruto blinked in confusion. He was _sure_ this was the same hallway. Absolutely positive! So what in the world was going on?

It only took about three more trips back and forth before Naruto had everything pretty well figured out, and demanded to be let down immediately. "But we're trapped!" he protested, when Senji kept right on holding him. Naruto fell backward and went limp in the hope that the strain would make Senji let go.

It didn't, but no one could ever accuse him of not trying.

"Naruto, stop that," Senji ordered. "You're being ridiculous."

"Well _you_ are being _stupid._"

This argument, which had won him many a fight with Sasuke in the past, proved to be as ineffective as going limp had been.

"Shush."

By the sixth trip, Naruto was tired of being _Bzz'ed._

"I need a rest," Naruto declared, tugging on Senji's ear. "Put me down."

Senji snorted. "_You_ need a rest."

"Yes, I need a rest."

With a very put-upon sigh, Naruto was set down and Senji's thin frame settled next to him a moment later. "Just a short one."

Naruto nodded easily, and padded over to the _bzz_ spot again, stopping just short of it. He could feel Senji's watchful gaze on him, so he just sat down and stared at the air, wondering what could cause such an interesting phenomena.

The sunk was sinking on the horizon, and the arrow-slit windows let in just enough light to see by. Soon, it would be dark, and they wouldn't be able to see anything.

"We need to get moving," Senji announced presently, and Naruto grunted in nothing like agreement. A colorful sparkle caught his eye, and to his surprise he saw a little green crystal embedded in the wall, planted carefully in a crack between two stones. Naruto crawled over to it, and poked at it a little.

It didn't need much persuasion to come tumbling out of its little crevice, and Naruto held it up for a hovering Senji to see. The man took it, swore, and his eyes burned red as he crushed the rock in his fist.

"Hey!" Naruto protested. "It was pretty."

"Pretty dangerous," Senji muttered. "Come on, we have to get moving."

"But I don't want to _bzz'ed_ again," Naruto whined.

"Get _what_ again?"

"Bzz'ed. It's what we did every time we turned around and you forgot about turning."

Senji shook his head in silent astonishment. "Figures you would be unaffected. Just figures. Next time that happens, tell me there are crystals in the walls, alright?"

"Why? What do they do?"

"Well," Senji said, floundering. "They bzz and… I've never actually encountered them before…"

"So…" Naruto toyed with the new concept of Senji not knowing everything. "You don't actually know?"

"I know enough," Senji assured him, and Naruto's confidence was restored.

"So are we going to go and rescue everybody now?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Of course," Senji said, with a shark-like grin. "When do we not?"

oOo

"This is all a part of the plan," Naruto assured a drowsy Sasuke, tugging at the chains attaching him to the wall. "Right Senji?"

"Sure," Senji said, dangling by his ankles from the ceiling next to a red-faced, hollow-cheeked Hikari. "Part of the plan."

Sai looked, to Naruto's incomprehension, as though he didn't believe. "Really? Because I thought the point was to _rescue_ Hikari-san."

"And I think that-" Hikari wiggled until she was facing them again as her chains swung her around. "—that is so sweet, Sai. Really."

Sai beamed.

Naruto gasped in disbelief, and rolled his head at Hikari to point out that—_hello—_he had helped too!

Hikari didn't catch on, because she had just been swung around, but Senji caught it. "You too, Naruto. And Sasuke, of course, couldn't have done it without Sasuke."

"No," Sasuke said. "I'm sure you could have managed to get captured on your own."

Naruto, very obligingly, stepped on Sasuke's foot.

The room, large, dank, and circular, with only one door in the far wall, had been all the scenery Naruto had experienced for the last two hours, and the mesmerizing swinging of Senji and Hikari had turned out to be mesmerizing for only so long. Little enjoyment had come from Sasuke recently waking up, as he had turned out to be just a bunch of sour grapes.

"I'm sure Kakashi will be here soon," Senji offered, placating.

"Yes," Hikari agreed drily. "Or he's still stuck walking up and down a _hallway._"

Senji gritted his teeth. "That was not my fault."

"But getting captured two steps out…"

"They were waiting in ambush! And if you had killed all of your little time-travel friends-"

"You couldn't even take down two of them!"

"The point is: You said they weren't a problem, they are, and so the blame for this entire incident rests on your shoulders."

"I wouldn't have had to travel if you hadn't been an idiot. Your fault."

Naruto leaned over and whispered to Sasuke: "I thought we weren't supposed to say whose fault it is. We were just supposed to do something."

"Good ninja would," Sasuke said haughtily.

"Hikari _is_ a good ninja," Sai informed their bitingly. "It's just a lover's quarrel."

"A _what?_" the other boys demanded at the same time.

"A lover's quarrel," Sai repeated. "Hikari watches them on T.V. _all_ the time. It's when two people fight and one is a boy and the other is a girl. Oh, and they like they each other."

"So since it's a lover's quarrel that means they're in love?" Sasuke asked.

Sai shrugged. "Guess so."

"Huh," Naruto said, watching Senji's face turned red. He beamed. "Awesomesauce."

A swath of light cut through the gloom of the room as the door opened and three hooded figures stepped in. They all moved slowly, hunched over, and behind them three nondescript servants brought chair which they set along the wall. As soon as their task was completed, they hurried out, shutting the door softly behind them.

Two of the creaky figures settled into their creaky chairs, but the third hobbled over to a now-silent Hikari and Senji.

"I see…" said an old man's voice. "That you… have many allies here, Child…"

Naruto couldn't see Hikari's face, but he could see Senji's eyes darting back and forth between them, and the little crease between his eyebrows furrowed.

On creepily silent feet, the man glided over to Sai, who shied away from the wrinkly hand that smoothed over his hair. "Did you- not think it cruel to bring… children into this?"

"I'm very grown up," Sai informed him, and the wrinkly hand gave his head a pat.

"You… will be."

"Leave him alone!" Hikari snapped, wriggling around to face the old man. Senji just hung silently, giving Naruto a warning look when he opened his mouth to speak.

"It is not him that killed so many," the old man said, gliding back over to Hikari. "No…"

"She was confused," Senji said calmly. "Mad. She can hardly be blamed for-"

"Shh," the man quieted, finger to cracked lips- barely discernable from the shadow of the rest of his face. "Quiet. Punishment must be… must be…"

He sighed, drifted back to the chair, and sat down. Another of the people stood, and came gliding forward. "Punished."

A woman's voice now, harsh as the crack of a whip and cold.

Naruto swallowed hard, fiddling with his chains. These people were _nuts._

"It wasn't her fault," Senji repeated. "It was mi-"

The old lady reached down, there was a sharp _pop!_, and Senji let out a bloodcurdling scream of pain, his entire body convulsing.

Naruto and Sasuke screamed with him, until their lungs were empty and their throats hurt, blood dripping down from Senji's head. The old lady straightened up, a bloody sphere in her hand, and crushed it.

"You've already been told to keep quiet," the lady said. "You only get one warning."

Slowly, the chain swung round again, and Naruto looked on in horror, trying to figure out what the woman had done. It hit him by the time Senji swung again.

The skin of his eyelid was sunken, depressed, and his eyelashes caked red. It was his _eye_, Naruto realized. The woman had popped out and crushed Senji's _eye._

Sasuke puked bile, and Sai turned green. Naruto just felt like ice had settled deep into his bones, freezing the world and everything in it.

The first thought that broke through was ridiculous—stupid—and simply: _He had nice eyes…_

Hikari broke the silence with a steady stream of swearing, more than once alluding to the heritage of all old people present.

It was like a bubble popped, like all the sound came rushing back into his ears after an absence, and he yelled for Senji, for Kakashi, for Iruka, for the Hokage—for _anybody_, someone that could _fix this_.

When no one appeared, he just followed Hikari's example and started swearing.

"Naruto," Senji reprimanded quietly, effectively cutting off any chatter, just as Sasuke and Sai were joining in. "I'm _fine._"

"You are not fine!" Hikari shrieked.

Senji snorted. "This isn't the first time I've lost an eye. It hurt, it's already clearing up, I'll be fine."

"Oh," the old lady said, who had been standing apart. "Should I pull out the other one?"

Naruto started his stream of obscenities again.

_She so much as __**looks**__ at him and I'll rip her apart_, he thought.

"Now I don't think that's necessary," said a new voice from the doorway, and Naruto looked up to see Kakahi—whom he had never before been so glad to see—lounging in the light next to a quiet Iruka.

_And the crowd goes wild!_ Naruto thought, at the very same moment he started jumping up and down as much as his chains would allow.

"Now," Kakashi said. "Let's see what we can do about that attitude of yours."

oOo

AN: Becasue Kakashi is AWESOME.

And, yes, ripping out Senji's eye was mean but, hey, they're mean people. He'll be fine. Probably. Frankly, I'm more concerned he's not freaking out. It's my personal fantasy (and since this whole thing is my fantasy it is FACT) that he's freaking out on the inside so as not to add to the kiddies mental disturbia. Internailze, baby, internailze.

If you were confused about anything, PLEASE let me know! I'm working on making this a bit clearer. Some of the mysteries will be solved next time of course, but some of them may be solved by your brilliant insight!

And your inisghts are indeed brilliant.

So please review and let me know if it was (look, bulletins!) 1) clear, 2) any good, and 3)...

I don't have a three. Just make one up. :)


	9. Of TimeTravel and Beginnings

Disclaimer: I may or may not know something about Naruto, but I certainly don't own the thing.

AN: I'm so sorry it took so long! School jumped up and grabbed me, but Fall Break allowed me to finally catch up and get this baby done. I also finally went back and put all those pesky breaks in the chapters, and got them uploaded. Yay!

By the way, this entire story rounded up to be 232 pages, or 75,467 words. Whew.

So, please read and, as always, enjoy.

oOo

There were dogs careening around the room, lightning crackling and snapping through bodies and chains, kunai with bits of blood smeared on the blade, and the stink of charred flesh. Naruto had not been able to keep track of Iruka at first, the chuunin moved so quickly, but he knew who had set the exploding tags that had made the third figure on the chair swell like a balloon until—_pop!_—gobbets of flesh added another layer of gore to the floor.

Senji was free now, one hand pressed to the hole in his head where his eye used to be, and the other holding a weak Hikari close to his body. Naruto could now understand it must have taken all of her strength to have been talking earlier—they had been torturing her for days.

Sasuke was free, and Sai, and Naruto wiggled impatiently as Sensei worked at his own chains. He wanted to be free, to help Kakashi, to run to Senji and never let him go.

Kakashi was having a hard time. Every time he came close to killing one of them the world round them would _ripple_, with either a yellow or blue tint to it, and the two cloaked people would be fresh and ready, without a single sight of a wound, and Kakashi no much the wiser. He just slowly and inexorably wore down without knowing why; blood was streaming from several deep gashes, and his sharingan eye bleeding from the stress. He took a moment to breathe, pulling back and trying to keep an eye on both opponents as they circled him.

_Flash!_ And Kakashi had dug a windmill into one of their legs, and was dancing out of range. Naruto's cuffs clicked open, and Iruka ran forward to join the fight.

_Yellow ripple_.

Kakashi was taking a moment to breathe, eyeing his opponents warily as they circled him, one on each side. In a flash, Kakashi threw a windmill shuriken at one who, impossibly, dodged. Naruto stamped his foot. Iruka was still working at the chains around Naruto's wrists, and Sasuke howled as they scored a deep hit on Kakashi, working his way with Sai over the red, slippery floor to where Senji and Hikari were too weak to move.

Finally, Naruto's chains were open, and he was skidding forward with reckless abandon toward Senji, Iruka moving in to help Kakashi.

A leg _snapped_ with the force of a punch, and a hole was blown through a belly with a chidori, and both of the people were going down, the only bit of color on them the red of their blood and the flash of crystal necklaces at their throats and—

_Blue ripple_.

Kakashi was down, and Iruka was too late to catch him.

Naruto stared in horror, feeling the familiar twist of panic and fear choking off his breath and making tears come to his eyes. Why? Why couldn't they win? Why hadn't Kakashi and Iruka realized the ripple was making things better for the others, and worse for them?

Naruto buried himself against Senji's side, trading an anxious glance with Sasuke. Sasuke's eye color was flickering strangely, his eyes getting an occasional red tint, and his face was twisted into a half-sneer. Senji was wan and pale, Hikari looking even worse up close with blood-shot eyes and gray skin. Sai was tucking himself against Hikari's side, looking very determined to stay there for as long as he could.

Sasuke rubbed his eyes in annoyance, and Naruto winced as Iruka was kicked into the wall and landed in a crumple of limbs. There were red stains spreading on one of the dark cloaks now, and the person hissed in annoyance, but there was no new ripple.

"What do the ripples do? I mean, obviously they fix all their boo-boos and stuff, but _how?_" Naruto asked Senji. Senji muttered something incomprehensible.

"Ripples?" Sasuke asked. "I don't know. I want to know why their necklaces keep glowing weird."

"Ooh!" Sai said, smacking his fist into his open palm. "Sasuke, we need to get those necklaces!"

"Why?"

"Those necklaces are making the… you called them ripples? Ripples. If we can get those…"

"Then 'Ruka-sensei can kick their butts!" Naruto cheered. He turned and cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting as loud as he could. "Iruka-sensei, Iruka-sensei, we're going to get their necklaces for you!"

Iruka blinked at the boys blankly, but the other two turned toward him with a savage fury in their eyes. Sasuke bonked Naruto on the head. "Yeah, tell him our plan, brilliant."

Naruto pouted, rubbing at the lump. "Well, yeah, but…"

Then they were there, right there, so close Naruto could smell that smell all old people seemed to have clinging to them, and their black cloaks were brushing against his face. Naruto had to look way up to see their unsmiling faces.

Now that they were so close, he saw that one of them was female, and the other was male. They had thin lips, stretched back in a snarl over white teeth, and straight noses with nostrils Naruto could have stuck olives up. Their eyes were strangely flat, not reflecting the light, and black. Even the white parts were black, and he could see red and blue veins pulsing beneath the membrane.

Naruto didn't think, he just acted, and before he knew it he had bit the white fingers coming down at him with all the strength in his jaw.

Something hard clicked against his teeth, and then the man was screaming, drawing back, and Sasuke was throwing a kunai, and Sai was going after the woman with a cool viciousness Naruto had only seen before in Itachi on a bad day.

The man jumped away, clutching his bleeding hand, and from his cloak fell the sparkly necklace—Sasuke's kunai had cut through the chain.

There was a _crack_, a _thud_ behind him, but Naruto was too busy to look, cheering on Iruka as he moved forward and with frightening accuracy set a windmill shuriken through the neck of the man, gobbets of flesh and bits of flood flecking Naruto's face and neck. And then he was moving onto the next one—

The woman's hand wrapped around Iruka's neck, squeezing and lifting him high into the air—Kakashi twitched, trying to help, but he was down for the count. Naruto felt a tug on his ankle, and turned to see Senji, pale but alive.

"Hand me that necklace," he ordered. Naruto blinked, confused, and noticed Sasuke was kneeling next to someone, shielding them from Naruto's view, but that hair looked like…

"Naruto," Senji yelled, snapping his fingers right in front of Naruto's eyes. "Give me the necklace! Blue. Right behind you."

Naruto nodded, his thoughts moving sluggishly, because there was all this red on the floor, and he could taste copper, and… there had been blood in that black hair…

His questing fingers found the crystal, and Senji snatched it from his fingers, standing. The chain went around his neck, the crystal flashed with light, and then Iruka was on the floor, coughing, and Senji had the woman's hand wrenched backwards.

"You!" She hissed, her teeth red stained and her eyes bulging. "YOU-!"

Senji smiled. "I know a thing or two about time-travel myself."

_Time-travel. Leaving. He's leaving._

Naruto lunged forward, capturing Senji's ankle, and all three of them disappeared in a ripple of yellow and blue light.

oOo

Naruto stumbled as his feet hit the ground, the world swirling. He dropped to his hands and knees, puking.

_That_, he thought, panting and wiping his mouth, _was the worst ride ever._

He had been sucked into a vortex, his insides outside and his outsides inside, and there had been a buzzing between his ears, and everything had just been _awful_.

Shaking a little, Naruto scooted away from the smell of his barf, and blinked as he felt grass tickling his hands. He looked around. He was on a hill, a few scrubby trees poking out, and the right side swept down into the cup of a small valley, the other side leading to a larger hill, where he could make out two figures and—

Lights!

Naruto moved forward, running up the hill and cresting it just in time to see Senji go down to his knees, hand against his bloody socket, other clutching the crystal, blue ripples wavering around him, his sharingan spinning.

The lady was standing, but shaking like a leaf in a gale, yellow ripples all about her. Below them, the ground changed constantly, from dry, crackly grass, to green, to bare ground and sometimes to earth salted with a light layer of snow. The air must have been changing too, because they sweated or shivered as the ground changed, and sometimes rain poured around them.

"You don't have my experience," The woman jeered, and the yellow distorted the blue, and Senji swayed dangerously. "And you're exhausted. This is one battle you cannot win."

"I can't tell you," Senji panted. "How many times I've heard that before."

She snarled, her hood falling back to reveal a head of dry, white skin like an egg, with strangely pointed ears. Naruto crinkled his nose. _Gross_. She was bald!

Yellow struck again, and Senji gasped with pain, his hair turned gray and lines popped up on his face.

"SENJI!" Naruto yelled. "Senji!"

Senji looked for him, having to turn quite a ways to see him, and stared for several seconds. He shook his head, resigning himself to Naruto's presence. "Stay back!" he yelled. "Stay back!"

"But-"

"Your distraction will cost you dearly."

Age spots sprinkled across Senji's skin, and the skin itself sagged over into big wrinkles. He hardly even looked like Senji anymore, only a washed out imitation.

Senji bared his teeth, and the blue struck vicious and sharp. The woman screamed, a keening sound, and blood bubbled on her lips. Senji returned to his younger self, and stood slowly. "You've underestimated me."

Naruto felt a chill race down his spine. Senji was terrifying, and making no attempt to hide himself. In an instant, he was changing again, his skin graying and wings in the shape of clawed hands pounding out from his back. Naruto screamed in fear, but Senji did not turn to comfort him.

"Run, Naruto!" he ordered, voice harsh. "Run right now!"

But Naruto could not move. This was not his Senji, this was not his father, this was some other being Naruto had never met, and he was afraid of him. Naruto could not leave until he knew this thing would disappear, would be gone forever, and would not be coming back.

Maybe Senji sensed that, or maybe he turned at just the right moment to see the paralyzing fear, because for just an instant his eyes softened, and his voice evened out, and quietly he said: "Go."

Naruto licked his lips, blinked back his tears, and nodded. "I'll be right there, Senji!" he yelled, pointing to the valley. "Right there!"

He didn't wait to see Senji nodded, only ran as fast as he could, stumbling and rolling to the bottom of the hill. Light exploded behind him, too bright, half-blinding him even though he faced away from it. When his vision cleared, he was on the hill he had started on, staring down into the valley.

Hot wind rushed over him, filled with choking dust, and Naruto coughed and stared, trying to see into the valley.

At first he didn't see anything, but he did hear the noise, and see the explosions. They ranged all over the valley, sudden flashes of light that ended with a boom and earth being ripped up and flung.

A battle! A different one from the light on the hill, but something Naruto could focus on. He watched carefully for any trace of the combatants, and when they paused long enough to come into view, Naruto caught his breath.

That was _Senji_.

Down there in the valley, sandaled feet digging to the torn earth, blood running down the side of his face, katana in hand and snarling was _Senji. _They were far away, and a little hard to see, but Naruto knew it was him. The other person, Naruto didn't know. They were blond, tall, and very fast.

The two were also obviously very near the end of their ropes. They were slowing, sluggish, panting hard and run out of tricks. They circled slowly now, watching for an opening, dancing over the broken earth with easy grace. The blond one jeered, and Senji snarled, raising his hand to the sky.

Storm clouds gathered overhead, and lightning struck down in a bolt so bright it almost canceled out the light shining behind him. It struck straight down at the blond one, who held up his hand, a whipping glow engulfing it, and there was another fantastic _boom _that rang through the hills.

Naruto was on overload—Senji and Hikari's capture, his imprisonment and escape, the fight, Senji's frightening change, this battle—all of it was catching up to him in one fell swoop. And there was something familiar, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, about the blond one, about his battle with Senji, that made Naruto's spine prickle.

He closed his eyes, for just a moment, and light so intense he screamed flashed before him. His eyes stung, streaming with tears, and when he blinked them open he looked down into the valley on a scene he would never forget.

The clouds from earlier that had held the lightning were now letting down a patter of rain, the sun sinking nearer the horizon had sent the drops sparkling.

Senji and the blond were unmoving, right in the middle of the rain-washed field, a sword clutched in Senji's hands was shoved right through the blonde's chest.

And then they were down.

Senji pulled out the sword, catching the blonde and lowering him gently to the ground. There was a pause, a long quiet where Naruto held his breath forever and a minute, and then Senji screamed, the worst sound Naruto had ever heard, the sound of a man that had killed himself.

"NARUTOOOO!"

oOo

"Naruto."

Naruto looked up, sobbing, reaching blindly for the comfort of Senji's arms. Senji, back to looking normal once more, picked him up, holding him tightly, and Naruto clung to him. "It, Senji, it was _me…_"

"I know, I'm _sorry_. I'm so sorry."

Naruto knew now why the blonde has seemed so familiar, why he almost knew what would happen in the battle before anything actually did. Senji had told him the story, so many times, and Naruto knew it practically by heart. Senji had told, again and again, that he had killed him. Naruto had heard him, thought he had understood him, but now he knew that he had never quite grasped that _Senji_ had _killed him._

He thought, perhaps, for just a moment that he could smell his blood on Senji's shirt.

He pulled back, not sure what he was going to do, though he had half a notion to run an another to scream. Maybe he would scream, and then run, because Senji had killed him and—

Senji was waiting for him to run, his arms already loosening, his eyes already losing that light Naruto had come to know. He had always been waiting for this, Naruto realized, from the very moment he had put an umbrella over his head at that swing. He had waited for Naruto to realize, to hate him, and to run.

But Senji had been the one to listen to him ("Didja hear about the underwear thing?"), to take him in (Naruto had thought he was very sneaky about the whole thing), to protect him from so many people, so many times, despite the danger he had faced (with the Uchiha, with Hikari, with the bear that Naruto still had nightmares of) and most of all he had shown Naruto a love he had never known before.

Naruto blinked at Senji, tightening his hold around his neck. "Let's go home."

Naruto thought it was worth it, everything, to see the perfect shock, that slowly melted into a shy hope, and then burned with a gratitude Naruto had never before seen.

"Yes," Senji agreed, hesitantly looking down into the valley, wincing at the sight. Naruto followed his gaze, to see Senji—to see Senji before he was Senji—holding, Naruto swallowed, cradling older Naruto's dead body, crying.

"Should we…?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

Senji cocked his head to the side, the red half of his face drying slowly into a cake of dried blood, and smiled a little. "I think I know just the thing."

And the world rippled blue.

oOo

They laid the little Senji out in a field near Konoha, in a patch of sweet-smelling clover. The little Senji was sleeping hard, and Naruto knew when he woke up he would go into the village and find… Naruto.

_Head, hurting, hate time-travel…_ Naruto thought.

"I—he, should be up in a few hours," Senji said, laying a few traps so a wild animal couldn't sneak up and get a few nibbles. The afternoon pouring in from between the trees highlighted Senji's exhaustion. He was bloody, pale, and there was a set to his shoulders that Naruto had only seen after The Massacre.

"Why did we go to then?" Naruto asked him, sitting on the ground and playing with a blade of grass. "The fight, I mean."

Senji sighed, his joints cracking as he settled down next to him. "The one who picks the battlefield always has an upper hand," he explained. "These crystals," he fiddled with the one around his neck. "They work when I picture someplace, some _time_, in my head. The more I remember, the closer I come, and, as far as I can tell, the more emotion with the memory, the closer I come as well."

"So you remembered a lot about that fight?"

"Every moment," Senji said.

"Oh." Naruto ripped his grass apart and scooted close to Senji's side. "Does it make you tired?"

"It…" Senji sighed and rubbed Naruto's arm. "It takes a certain amount of chakra, yes."

"A lot of chakra?"

"Yes."

Naruto frowned disapprovingly. "You're wearing yourself out! Senji, you have gotta stop doing that. You're going to get too tired and _die_. Then where will I be? I'll be stuck with only Sasuke for_ever_. Not that I don't like Sasuke, but he can't cook, and I can't cook, although I pour the milk in my cereal better than he does. He splashes. He can throw a kunai, but he can't pour milk, don't you think that's sad? I think it's sad. And, oh, then we'll be losers can you won't be training us! And then we Kakashi won't train us when we're old, and we made him promise he would, and now all that hard work of draining a bottle of chocolate sauce down his throat will be for nothing! Do you have any idea how much chocolate we had to use? Do you?"

"Um," Senji said.

"No, you don't."

"Naruto," Senji interrupted, rubbing his forehead. "Why don't we get back to the others, alright?"

_The others… the others…_

"Hikari and Sasuke? Still imprisoned? Back in our time?"

"Oh!" Naruto cried, lighting up with understanding. "Right! Can I do it then? Please can I do it? I wanna have a turn with the necklace!"

"Hn," Senji debated. "How about I keep it on, but you supply the chakra? And you can help by thinking about the place we want to go, alright?"

"Okay," Naruto agreed, knowing it was probably the best offer he was going to get. "Hey, are we going to use this thing to go on vacation sometimes?"

"No!" Senji squawked. "I'm going to lock it away."

"_Why?_"

"It's very dangerous, we're not going to use it."

"But if we're not going to use it, then why keep it? Why not just crunch it up?"

"Because-" Senji floundered. "Naruto, just focus, okay?"

Naruto shrugged. "Okay."

Naruto held onto Senji, barely noticing the slightly familiar tug of his chakra being sucked away, and thought of the big stone room, with the blood on the floor and-

-and then they were rippling again and were back in the stone room covered in gore. Iruka was just getting his breath back, and Kakashi had recovered just enough to make little movements. Hikari had crawled over by Sai, gently stroking blood-stained black hair.

Sasuke looked up at their arrival, little tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. "The girl," he said, gesturing helplessly, "When we were getting the necklace."

"It'll be fine," Hikari said. "I'll fix him."

Senji snorted. "Your chakra's so low you couldn't heal a fly."

Hikari hissed at him like a particularly nasty cat, and laid her head by Sai's.

"Um," Naruto said. He had thought, with the bad guy—girl—beaten everything would be alright. But Sai…

Sai had a hole through the left side of his chest, his breath was slow and liquid, and his eyes glassy. He barely paid attention as Senji gripped Hikari's hands to force her not to heal Sai. They were both weak as it was, and so many trips through time had left him even more pathetic. Hikari was just as bad, if not worse, but Senji was talking to her in a low, insistent voice.

"You don't have the strength, you would die for nothing. Someone will come, you need to wait, to rest. Sakura, _stop it._"

Naruto sat down next to Sasuke, curling up close to his friend and staring at Sai. He hadn't really liked Sai, but seeing him like this…

"I'm tired," Naruto said.

Sasuke nodded, saying nothing, staring at nothing, chewing his lips bloody.

"I have to save him," Hikari said. "I have to."

"Naruto," Iruka called, and Naruto turned toward him, feeling dull and removed. "Naruto, do you remember what we were talking about in class? About chakra sharing?"

"No," Naruto said honestly. "I wasn't listening."

Iruka twitched in annoyance, but Sasuke chimed in, eyes lighting up. "I do!" he raised his hand high in the air, straining. Iruka, rolling his eyes, gestured for him to continue. "It's used to heal people!"

"Yes!" Hikari croaked. "Sasuke, Naruto, come here!"

They came, laying their hands on their shoulders, and then Naruto felt a _pull_ and—

The world went dark.

oOo

They were put in one giant room at the hospital, all together, so they could recover with a little bit of company. The doctor was threatening to just set aside the room for around-the-clock use, they were there nearly that often anyway.

The effects of the fight had been brutal. Hikari had been tortured, in ways she refused to speak of, and what parts of her weren't covered in bruises had cuts. Many of her joints had been dislocated, and other bones had been broken, but mostly she was exhausted. Her chakra had been depleted to the very last dregs, and she slept most of the time.

Senji was in a similar boat. He hadn't been tortured as much as Hikari, but the battles he had fought had worn him thin, and the loss of his eye only added salt to the wound. Naruto had assured him that he thought the eye patch was _awesome_ (and it was, because Naruto had decorated it and he just had an eye for these things. Orange swirls were _cool_) and that maybe he could go as a pirate, or Kakashi's _twin!_, for Halloween.

Kakashi and Iruka were recovering themselves, and Kakashi had assured them that the wounds were practically nothing. Nothing at all, he only hurt when he breathed.

Iruka spent most of his time ordering the children back into their beds. They were all weak and shaky as new-born kittens, and on strict bed rest- which was, without a doubt, the most _boring_ thing in the _universe._

"How about I get you some coloring books?" the new nurse asked, when Naruto complained to her.

Sasuke sighed, and by way of explanation pointed to the mound of coloring books they had finished and thrown into the corner. Even the adults had colored, just to have something to do.

The nurse laughed heartily, not seeming to be at all perturbed. "Well, I see you've been well taken care of on that account. Do you feel up for a visitor?"

"Yes!" Naruto caterwauled, before anyone else could say a word. "Anybody!"

"Very good," the nurse said, her plump cheeks turning into little round red apples as she smiled. "I'll send them in. Two little girls…" she winked at Sasuke, and he blushed horribly.

Naruto pouted. Sasuke was _always_ getting winks.

Timidly, Hinata poked her head around the corner, and Naruto cheered, ignoring the pull of his IV as he waved at her. "Hinata-chan! _Hi_, Hinata-chan!"

She shushed him, glancing behind her cautiously. "My father believes me to be visiting my aunt Hitomi."

"Didja?"

"Yes."

"Then come in here!"

Hinata came, followed by a pink hair girl that Hikari greeted with a warm smile. "Sakura-chan! How is your father?"

Senji looked like he'd been hit in the head by a brick when he saw the little girl, but quickly covered it behind a distant smile when the little girl glanced at him.

"He's good, Doctor, thank you," Sakura said. "I—I came to make sure you were okay, since you helped Daddy so much."

"I'm wonderful, thank you."

Naruto tuned them out, patting for Hinata to come up and sit by him on the bed, already beginning a long stream of chatter, her occasional interjections making it a conversation instead of a one-sided monologue.

Soon, the room was full of an easy chatter, and Sakura had been passed around the room to be introduced. She wound up near Senji, who she was looking at with the beginnings of a crush, occasionally darting her eyes over to Sasuke as well.

Sasuke was struggling not to blush, Senji was struggling not to roll his eyes, and Hikari was struggling not to laugh.

Naruto grinned, rattling off promises to Hinata of what they would be doing as soon as they were out of the hospital. Like snow ball fights, and snowmen, and, well, they were going to have to make it snow first of course, but after _that_—

The time in the hospital went much more quickly.

oOo

"Ewww!" Naruto yelled, laughing. "Gross!"

Senji and Hikari pulled apart with a startled _smack_, disentangling themselves and almost falling off the couch.

Sasuke and Sai came piling in after him, faces scrunched up in disgust, and behind them all trotted in Hinata, clutching little Sakura's hand—a new (and according to Sasuke _temporary_) addition to their group. They were both blushing horribly.

Senji licked his lips and cleared his throat. "Um, we—I—where are Kakashi and Iruka? You were supposed to be with-"

"We decided," Kakashi said, sauntering in with an evil twinkle in his eye, "That we would help the children practice their spy skills."

"We're now scarred for life," Iruka added.

Hikari blushed almost as badly as Senji, and they squirmed uncomfortably for half a minute, until they remembered they were the adults in this situation.

"That's what you get for spying then," Hikari said, flicking a piece of hair, grown much longer now, over her shoulder. "Bad children, very bad children."

All of the children broke into giggles at that, and fell over themselves laughing, becoming a tangled heap on the floor.

"Sasuke, Naruto," Senji said, quelling their giggles with a few words. "Have you done your homework?"

"Well," Naruto stalled.

"We thought…" Sasuke added.

"Oh," Iruka murmured. "I figured the spying can count, this time."

Naruto and Sasuke cheered, and Senji shook his head, smiling just a little.

Naruto looked around, at his friends, his family, the ones he loved. _This is good_, he thought. _A good beginning._

Owari

oOo

AN: That means the end.

Yes, this story is finished, over, thrown into the confines of its grave and left to rot. I appreciate all those who have stayed with this story for so long! I would like to mention though... if youu would like to see a particular continuation of this universe, in the form of a one-shot (which could be quite long) or a drabble, tell me! If you want to see their future later, a certain scene, whatever, let me know through a review or through PM and I'll see what I can do!

Please review!


	10. Extra: Rainy Days

Disclaimer: Yes. I also own Wal-Mart, and the moon.

AN: Yay! I finished one of the extra one-shots. This one focuses on the first time "Senji" and Naruto met, from Senji's POV. I'll probably start another one soon, but we'll see how it works out. With the idea now, it would be kinda long...

WARNING! SHAMELESS PLUG! I would love it if you guys would go check out _And the Aftermath_ as well, which has more Senji one-shots.

oOo

Close eyes.

_Nothing is ever simple, Sasuke, remember that. __**Nothing**__ is ever simple_.

It was all bright leaves and golden rays and fast clouds that day. There had been a ladybug on a tree, but I couldn't remember expressions and clothes and voices—all of that had faded into a whirlwind and been dipped in black tar to run away into other memories.

_Why do I need to know that, Nii-san?_

_Because all ninja know that._

_Oh. Okay._

Open eyes.

I turned my face up to dark clouds and spotty half-rainbows, letting go of fuzzy half-memories from days that hadn't—had—hadn't—yes, _had,_ happened yet. I scuffed my feet against the dirt road, letting them carry me down familiar paths and over not-quite-so-worn flagstones. Konoha had changed so much from my last memory. (Burning rooftops and screaming infants and glowing green eyes and chakra that _hurt_ as I pushed it out) Even Academy had changed, in its own small ways. The sign was still painted green, the new dojo hadn't been added on yet, Iruka was just beginning his teaching career.

_Gods. I used to think Iruka was __**old**_.

I trailed one hand across the scarred and discolored academy fence. I had left a scorch mark on it in my second year. I had been so proud. Finally, I was producing a flame worthy of the Uchiha name… Of course, that wouldn't be there yet.

_Tap, tap, tap,_ went my umbrella against me leg. It would be a useless waste to have carried it all this way if _He_ wasn't there today. I had memorized _his_ schedule and patterns over the last several weeks, but what if _he_ wasn't there today and-?

_When did I begin to worry so much? Stick to the plan, Sasuke._

Shaking my head I opened my umbrella, and the drop of rain that would have landed on my shoulder hit the black canvas with a _plop_ and rolled down the canvas, turning the ground dark.

_There's the tree,_ I thought, stopping at the edge of the fence. _The swing, and… there he is._

Blond hair hung down around a thin face with whisker marks and blue eyes. Baggy clothes hung off a too-thin frame, light for the weather. He sat under the old oak, swing ropes creaking as he swung slowly.

It began to drizzle in earnest.

He—_Naruto, I must get used to calling him Naruto—_slowly began to pull the swing to a stop, reluctant to go even though fat drops were starting to flow from the sky.

I knew—_knew- _that today might be my only chance to run into Naruto without drawing suspicion, and my window of opportunity was narrowing with every second that the swing slowed.

My feet seemed glued to the ground, and my arms stayed frozen. I couldn't move.

_I'm nervous,_ I realized. _Amateru and Amateratsu, how long has it been since I've been nervous? What am I worried about? That he'll remember I ran a sword through his chest and try to boil my brain?_

…_He can't remember, can he?_

The swing was almost at a standstill, little heels dragging in the sand.

_I'm being ridiculous_, I thought, irritated (but my heart was still beating fast). _I should just __**do it**_.

…_But what if he hates me?_

The swing stopped, and a few drops of moisture broke through the scanty protection of half-formed leaves and aged branches. Naruto shivered when a drop landed on his arm.

_If he hates me,_ _I've only gotten what I deserve._

I was behind the little boy in an instant, and he leaned back in the swing to stare up at me. I worried suddenly that I looked scary to him, alien, flat, and frightening.

Naruto waved, hand still pudgy with baby fat.

Before I could think about it, I waved back, and his eyes went wide. Not in fear, but with something else, some unfathomable emotion that only Naruto understood.

I swallowed. He was a perfect little replica of the Naruto I'd killed, trusting without hesitation, and without remorse.

Stupid, stupid child.

"It's raining," I said, because I could think of nothing else, and Naruto wasn't filling the silence like he should have. "Are you going home soon?"

Naruto nodded, which looked more than a little awkward with his face already tilted back.

"You don't have an umbrella. Want me to walk you?"

Another nod, and Naruto clambered off the swing, reaching out to grasp my hand with his own. I gripped the little fingers, surprised at the lack of callus.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

_He lets me walk him home with no idea of who I am. Does _anyone_ else see anything wrong with this picture? I'll have to keep watch over him, make sure no one tries anything funny…_ "Kinazawa Senji." The lie, practiced, rolled off my tongue easily. "I live on the outskirts of the village."

"Oh, really? I've never met anybody from there before. Is Outskirts far away? Like Suna? I heard Suna was _very_ far away. Like _forever_ far, a million, bajillion miles! Have you ever walked a million bajillion miles?"

"It's felt like it."

"I think I did once. I walked all the way to the ramen stand, and then to the Hokage's house, and then to school, and it was _really_ long. I think I walked half the _world._ The world is very big you know, much bigger than the map on teacher's desk. He says that's the world, but how could we be standing on it if it was on the table? Nope, can't do it, but he says it's just a way to show what the world looks like from people that have traveled it. Wouldn't it be cool to do that? Then you could see the ocean! And volcanoes! And maybe you could even make the volcano _explode_ and then there'd be _lava_ and we could play in it like mud! I like mud. Do you like mud? I ate mud once, it was gross. Hokage sez mud it's gross all the time, but I like mud…"

Senji hung on every word of Naruto's chatter, amazed at his ability to just _talk_. There were no inhibitions, no thoughts to let the other person speak, just a monologue of information, as if he was frightened he would be interrupted at any moment, and trying to get as much out in one sitting as he could.

When they arrived at the—the—the _rat-hole_ that Naruto exists in. I catch the despairing glance at the box of treats in the trashcan, and swallow bile. What did they expect this child to live on?

I glanced at a rat, and shuddered.

"Why don't you come eat at my house?" I asked gently, and Naruto's eyes went round.

"Are we going to have to walk around the world to get there?"

"No."

"Oh," he looked very disappointed. "How far is it?"

"A few miles," I worried suddenly that he would be tired. It was strange, considering these things, children were very different from adults. It hadn't been something I had, exactly, anticipated. "I'll carry you, if you get tired."

Naruto puffed up. "I can do it! I'm big!"

I stared at him, at that tiny little face, the bright eyes, and for the first time in years felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. This was Naruto. Not, perhaps, the Naruto-that-had-been, but Naruto just the same.

"Not yet, you aren't," I said. "But someday. Come on," I held out my hand, and he latched onto my fingers. "Let's go."

"Together," Naruto said with a brilliant smile.

I nodded, breath tight in my chest. "Yeah. Okay. Together."

oOo

AN: I'm gagging on my own fluff.

So, what did you think? Please review!


	11. Extra: Bath Time

AN: Well, this wasn't a request, but I decided to post it anyway. I'm working on a one-shot for the team-time... but it's taking it's sweet time. Please enjoy!

oOo

I was constantly disturbed by Naruto's utter lack of hygiene.

When he first came to live with me, shyly tucking away items into his dresser and admiring his new little stool, he hadn't even known you were _supposed_ to wash your hands after going to the bathroom. He rarely washed, and never well, and his teeth were in a completely sorry state of neglect.

Most of these peculiarities were simple enough to fix. Hand washing and teeth brushing seemed to come naturally enough, coming at the correct times and doing them properly, but bath time was a whole other matter.

Lipshitz said Naruto was 'finding his boundaries'.

I said it was Naruto being a butt-head.

"But I don't _wanna_," Naruto whined. "Why do I hafta bathe _every_ night?"

"Because you smell," I said, wrestling him out of his shorts. Naruto became frighteningly strong when he didn't want to do something, and his kicking was quickly bordering on the manic. "Naruto! Now you listen here young man-"

"Nooouuuuu!" Naruto screeched, thrashing. "Don't make me, Senji!"

Guilt made its presence known in my gut—he didn't _want_ this—but I squashed it. He had done this for the last two nights, and he wasn't getting away with it again.

"I'm making you," I said, stripped off his underwear and plopped him in the tub.

He howled, twisted—slippery as a snake—in the water, thrashing as I poured soap on his head and scrubbed. He thrashed, kicked, punched, until every inch of him was clean, and I was soaked from head to toe, bath bubbles sticking to various places in my hair. Naruto began to calm down at the end, eyeing my soaked state with crowing pleasure, laughing at the way my hair stuck up.

"Stay," I ordered, standing slowly. My legs were numb from crouching by the side of the tub for so long. "Play. I'll be back with a towel."

"Okay," Naruto said, engaging himself in making explosion noises as he had two boats crash into each other.

He didn't seem at all bothered by the water _now_.

I sighed, grabbing a towel for myself and stripping off my wet shirt as I passed the laundry. Parenting was hard. I had known it would be, of course but… parenting was _hard._

"Alright," I said, careful not to slip on my way back into the bathroom, towel for Naruto under one arm. "Time to get out."

"Don' wanna," Naruto said flippantly, just as the boat crashed into a duck and sank. "I wanna play."

_I'm going to __**kill**_—

I took a deep, slow breath. How often, I made myself wonder, had Naruto had the time to simply play in the bath? Not recently, and it certainly couldn't hurt him. He was happy, that was all that mattered, it was fine.

"BOOM!" Naruto yelled, smashing the duck into the side of the bath and making gurgling noises as it drowned. He beamed at me. "Ducky went boom."

I smiled at him. "Ten more minutes."

"Yay!"

oOo

AN: And now that you've (hopefully) enjoyed, please review!


	12. Extra: Waffles

Disclaimer: See previous.

AN: I know this was supposed to be longer and about the teams after they'd grown, but the "momtastic" add showed up while I was clicking around and I saw "Belching waffles." Thus, this drabble was born. Also, this hasn't been edited so... try to ignore that.

_Everto_ is taking up most of my writing time right now, and so I haven't been doing much tinkering with the requests, but I will get some done. Eventually. Very sorry for the wait!

oOo

"Belching waffles."

Senji stared at him for a few moments, silent, and then asked. "You want what?"

"Belching waffles," Naruto repeated slowly, drawing out the syllables. When Senji still looked blank, Naruto elaborated. "They have squares in them."

Senji shook his head, rubbing at his eye patch. "We can't just have regular waffles?"

"No! Hikari made belching waffles. I want belching waffles!"

Understanding dawned on Senji's face, and he smiled. "You mean _Belgian_ waffles."

Naruto considered for a moment, and frowned. "Belching is _very_ close to Belgian."

Senji snorted trying to hold in a laugh, and nodded. "Why don't you go wake up Sasuke and we'll have some… _Belgian_ waffles."

Blushing, Naruto dashed off into the next room, and tackled Senji when he tried to tell Hikari, laughing, that Naruto had eaten belching waffles for breakfast.

oOo

Very short, yes, but it also proves that I LIVE.

Please review.


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